The Weather Is Fine
by shopi
Summary: Quinn and Rachel are stuck at school during a storm. They have to spend the night together, and that's how Faberry begins! : - Set after "Silly Love Songs"
1. Chapter 1

**_Hi guys! My name is Sophie and this is my first fanfic, I hope you will like it. I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes, english is not my first language._**

**_Don't hesitate to give reviews! Enjoy! :)_**

**_Disclaimer : I do not own Glee or any of its characters._**

**The Weather Is Fine**

Chapter 1

_**Rachel's POV**_

Today had started as a good day, I hadn't yet been met with an ice cold slushy and despite the fact that I still had to be in the same room as Finn and Santana the whore, I decided to be professional and civilised. To be honest I'm still expecting her revenge after my pole comment last week, but I will not live in fear.

As for Finn who humiliated me at the kissing booth, I realised that I absolutely don't need him and in fact am in the process of erasing him from my life, my mind and my heart.

Yes, of course fooling around with Puck was a mistake, but if he's not willing to forgive me even after what he did with Santana, then maybe he's just not worth it.

I've decided instead to dedicate myself even more to my studies and of course to the Glee Club. To do so, with Principal Figgins approval as well as Mr Shuester's, I've been working after school in the auditorium, trying to find the perfect set list for regionals.

Between my perfectly execute vocal warming and my meticulous search for the perfect song I realised I had forgot most of my sheet music, three boxes to be exact, in my car.

You could think that I might be scared in an empty high school on a Friday night where even the smallest sound echoes through the corridors, giving the impression that a man with a chainsaw is coming after you, but in fact, I love it.

It feels safer than it ever did to me. No cheerleaders, no corner slushies, no whispers, no staring. Just me, my music, and all the time in the world to think.

And right now, I'm thinking that I have to go out in the pouring rain to get my sheet music and frankly, I'm really not up to it.

_**Quinn's POV**_

Today was the worst day. I don't know what to do. I've been in my car for the past 2 hours trying to figure things out.

Finn or Sam.

Two great guys who apparently both love me and are both willing to do anything for me. And now I have to choose, when really, I don't want to.

Why do things always have to be so complicated? I mean why can't I be simply in love with the person I am with, without constantly having to question my feelings or his feelings.

Is it stupid to think that God might be punishing me? Yes, it's stupid.

I need to stop blaming everyone else for my mistakes, that's the old me, and I'm trying to change. Still I'm cheating once again on my boyfriend.

_What is wrong with me!_?

Before I could decide whether to stay here for another hour or go home, my eyes caught on someone, running in the rain to get to a car.

_Who the hell goes out with a weather like that!_?

It's been said to be one of the strongest storm of the year, I am actually glad my mom is out of town, otherwise she would have killed me for not coming back home right after school.

When that crazy person, whoever that is, started coming back towards the school she was carying three boxes, the whole thing being taller than her, she started losing balance and struggled to stay on her feet with the wind blowing like crazy and the soon to be fallen boxes in her arms.

_Don't be a jerk Quinn, help someone for a change, maybe you will feel better about yourself._

I got out of my car, and was instantly whipped by the cold wind and the sharp rain, this was really a shitty weather. I started running towards the stranger, but unfortunately got there to late to prevend the boxes from falling, revealing the face of someone who was anything but a stranger.

"Rachel!_?_"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_**Quinn's POV**_

"Rachel what are you doing_!_?" I had to yell to be heard under the heavy rain.

She didn't answer me, she was to busy trying to catch the flying sheets of paper that were coming straight from the three boxes on the floor.

"Rach-" I was cut by a thunderbolt and the lighting that followed.

"Rachel we need to get inside!" I yelled once more.

"My music! I need to get my music!" she said to me, still trying to catch completely soaked sheets of paper.

A second lighting made me jump, which I took as a cue to quickly get inside, paper sheets or not.

I practically had to carry her inside while she was yelling about her life being ruined and dead singers that would come to haunt her, but eventually I got both of us in the school.

I was completely soaked and freezing.

_God I hate rain._

Looking up after taking off my jacket, I realised I was in the auditorium, I had never realised there was an exit straight to the parking lot. I guess I haven't spend enough time in here.

Then I remembered, I'm not alone. Rachel is glued to the door, mumbling incoherent words, looking through the small window of the exit.

If someone had just come in at that moment and saw the look on her face they would certainly have thought that it was her own dying father that was outside under the rain and not some stupid music sheets.

And just like that, without any real explanation, as per usual, I got angry.

"What the fuck Berry_!_? Were you trying to get us kill out there_!_? " I snapped.

She jumped at my words then looked at me as if I had just appeared from nowhere.

"Quinn? What are you doing here?" she asked with a very confused look plastered on her face.

"I just saved your ass, that's what I'm doing here!" I seemed to get more and more worked up by the second.

"No, I mean, what are you doing here, at school?"

I thought for a second about telling her the truth but quickly reminded myself that she was the last person I wanted to talk to about my life and she was certainly the last one who would want to hear about it.

"I was just passing with my car." I lied "What are you doing here, apart from being stupid enough to go out in a storm?"

"I-I rehearse for glee club every Wednesday and Friday nights, and I just wanted to get my..." As if she needed a reminder she looked back through the window with the saddest look.

"Would you forget about those damn sheets! They're gone, they're dead! Get over it!" I snapped again.

She looked away from the window back to me, she wasn't pleased and I was expecting a diva outburst by any second, and of course, I wasn't disappointed.

"Excuse me for caring about my work! Those aren't simply sheets, they're my world! It took me years to build that collection so excuse me if I take a second to be fucking upset about it!" she yelled.

Hearing her cursed surprised me a little, like somehow I had uncovered a part of her she very rarely shows. She's usually the one who does that to me, not the other way around. Not that I felt proud or anything, but I felt less vulnerable, which made me calm down a little bit.

"Fine I'm sorry. But I'm not spending the night here and frankly neither should you. Call your parents." My tone was firm but not cold. I really didn't want to spend the beginning of my weekend at school, it was way too depressing.

"I don't have a phone." her voice was small. I could tell she already felt guilty for yelling a minute ago, which made it almost impossible to stay mad at her.

"Here, take mine." I handed her my phone, she took it hesitantly.

"Don't you want to call your mom first?" she asked me cautiously as if I could snap at her again any second.

"She's out of town. Call your dads." I stepped away from her to get my jacket which was hanging on one of the seat in the front row, I tried emptying the pockets while Rachel dialed the number.

"Daddy? -Yeah, yeah I'm fine. -no I'm still at school, I got caught in the storm but Quinn helped me back inside. -yes she's with me. -are you sure? -well I guess we can but-yes, you're right. -no her mom is out of town-okay-okay, I love you too-I'll see you in the morning, bye." she ended the call.

"In the morning?" I asked, knowing exactly what it meant but somehow didn't want it to be true.

"Yes, daddy said that we can't go out in the storm and even less drive in it. We have to wait till the morning, it's supposed to calm down during the night. Don't worry, we're safe here."

_Safe? Speak for yourself!_

The idea of spending the entire night in an empty school, with a storm outside, with Rachel Berry absolutly terrified me. Not only because I tend to stay away from any situation that could occur in an horror movie, but also because I have no idea how to act around this girl, even less talk to her for more than a few seconds. The last time we had a real conversation, I was pregnant with Beth and Finn had just discovered he wasn't the father. It seems like a lifetime ago.

"We should start getting settled." her voice brought me out of my thoughts. "Do you want to stay in the auditorium or go somewhere else?"

I really didn't care where I was going to spend this awful night, but the auditorium with is big lights and a clear view of the exits, just in case a maniac had escaped, seemed like the safest place right now.

"The auditorium is fine." I answered casually. "We can get a mattress from the gym."

I started walking out of the room when I felt her following me. I couldn't help but think about magnets. Which made me think about Santana telling me about her and Britt, how they couldn't be away from each other or how they always found their way back because of an invisible force that brought them together. I wish I could live something like that, being so connected to someone that just the thought of being away from them hurt as much as being physicaly apart.

"We're gonna need some blankets as well, the school stops being heaten around eight." she said, as she had been living here for years.

We walked in complete silence through the school, the gym being on the opposite side of it.

Awkward is the word that would most definitely apply the best to this situation. I honestly have no idea what we could possibly talk about. I'm also wondering why she isn't rambling about useless things the way she usually do, that would help for once.

"I'm sorry you got caught in here with me." her voice was hesitant, I could tell she was being cautious with me.

"It's fine. I'd rather be here than outside." Actually I'm not so sure of that yet.

"Actually, this storm is not the worse, a few years back there was this massive, massive storm, the biggest the state ever had, trees uprooted, roof flying in the wind and no electricity for an entire week. I remember because..."

And here she goes again with the rambling, I realise I actually prefered silence. I stopped listening to her at some point. She didn't seem to notice and kept going on and on about food rations and a list of secured shelters.

We finally arrived to the gym after what seemed like days when really it was only 5 mins.

_I am never gonna survive a whole night with her._

The pile of mattresses was disposed in one of the corner of the room. It's only then that I realised we were gonna have to cary a very, very heavy mattress through the school and even with my cheerleader muscles and whatever the midget who accompanied me has, this wasn't going to be easy.

"Okay, we're gonna take the mattress first and then come back for the blankets, I think there's some in the locker rooms." I said without looking at her. I was already trying to get the mattress down from the top of the pile when I realised she was still standing behind me, looking.

"Don't you think you could help me, maybe?" my words took her out of her daze and she ran to help me.

"Sorry." It's all she said before helping me bring the mattress to the floor, once it was done, she looked at me hesitantly. She wanted to say something but was scared of the way I might react.

"What is it?" I started to get annoyed again.

"It's just... do you really want to carry that through the school? I mean, it's almost ten time my weight."

She was right, those things were the heaviest on the market, Coach Sylvester chose them specially for the cheerios, if you fall on it once, you sure never want to fall on it again. She made a little speech on their honor, explaining all the ways we could get injured or die on them and how pleased she would be by that, and she also said something about feeling the pain of our mediocrity.

"You have a better idea Berry? Because I am not spending the night in that crappy gym!"

And that I meant! This place is already terrifying enough in the day with Sylvester in it but at night, it was ten time worse. Of course that's an argument I couldn't really use in front of Rachel freakin' Berry.

"Well, how are we supposed to get it out of here?" she was gaining confidence which automaticaly meant I was going to start losing mine soon.

"With a simple trick called "pull and push" " My tone was sarcastic and cold. She didn't react to it and helped me put the mattress upright so it was easier to slide. And just like that we were walking back to the auditorium, in complete silence apart from the sound of friction caused by the 500 pounds mattress that we were dragging with a lot of difficulty. When we got there and after a last effort to put it on the stage, we both fell on it, exhausted by the exercise.

"Thank god I kept working out after quitting the cheerios." I was slowly regaining my breath.

"I think I need to change my morning routine into something a little bit more extreme, I'm so out of shape." she said with a panting breath, looking at the ceiling and probably already thinking about the exact changes she was going to make.

I looked at her profile for a few seconds and I realised I had never really looked at her, I mean I stared at her a hundred times just to show her how much I despise her but all I could really see was my own anger. Here it was different, with her chest moving slower,her eyes blinking lightly and the lights falling perfectly on her face, she looked beautiful.

_Wait, What!_?

I quickly turned my head away and realised that I had just lost my breath again. I needed to get out of here.

"I'm gonna go get some food." I told her, getting up and pratically running to the door.

I heard her called after me but I didn't turn around.

_What the fuck is happening to me!_?_ I did not just associate Rachel Berry's face with the word beautiful...well actually she kind of is-stop!_

When I finally took a second to stop thinking about Berry and whatever she was making me feel, I realised I was alone, in an empty school, in a dark corridor.

_I need to get to that vending machine, fast._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_**Rachel's POV**_

"Quinn?" I barely had time to called that she was already out of the room. I don't know what I did to make her run, but I must have done something. Today didn't turned out the way I expected it to, at all. Spending the night at school sucked of course but spending the night at school, with my personal tormentor Quinn Fabray was definitely worse. I'm just trying really hard not to say something stupid or something that might annoy her or make her want to strangle me during the night, so by pure precaution I decided not to talk at all or only if really necessary. Yes, I got a little caried away earlier with the story of the past storm and the security procedures but frankly, everyone should know about them! It's important to be prepared for any situation you might enconter in your life, especially natural disasters.

She must have thought it was interesting because she didn't stop me like she usually do.

And then, we had to carry that awful mattress, that I can tell, now that I'm on it, is probably less comfortable than the floor.

I looked at my watch, 6:07 pm.

_This is gonna be a long night._

After a few minutes I decided to go do something, mainly because the silence was starting to get more scary than soothing and also because I didn't want Quinn to come back and yell at me for just standing there like I did in the gym. Let just say that I was distracted by something...or maybe someone.

I got up and decided to go get the blankets. I knew Quinn must have probably gone to one of the vending machines around but I didn't meet her on the way, I wish I had.

The storm was still going strong outside, with more and more lightings which created spooky shadows on the walls.

_Maybe a guy with a chainsaw wouldn't be so surprising right now._

I walked as fast as I could to get there. Thank god the locker rooms had their own set of electricity, I switched on the lights and started looking to find the blankets, I found them on a top shef, out of my reach.

_Of course._

I took an hold on a folding chair and climbed on it, I could still barely touch them so I stretched up a little bit more. I started losing my balance when suddently it all went black.

_**Quinn's POV**_

I exactly had 5 dollars and 30 cents in my wallet.

_I knew I shouldn't have bought those shoes yesterday._

I bought two bottles of water, some chips and other sugary stuff that I normally stay away from, but I guess I can make an exception for tonight.

I altered between walking and running to get back to the auditorium, convinced that behind every corner was a murderer ready to jump.

When I got there Rachel was missing.

_Where the hell did she go?_

Not that I'm worried about her or anything, but why does she have to go wondering around when there's a high probability that we will both get killed during the night.

_Calm down Fabray. And stop being such a pussy! _

I threw the food on the mattress and looked at my phone, 6:16 pm.

_This is gonna be a long night. _

I realised my mom had called 6 times and send me 4 texts.

**5:43 pm : Are you okay? Please answer the phone.**

**5:45 pm : Please Quinnie answer. They're saying the storm is getting worse, I need to know you're safe.**

**5:48 pm: Quinn Lucy Fabray answer the phone!**

**5:54 pm : Rachel's dad just called me, I hope you're okay, please call me when you can.**

I laughted to myself, my mom really changed since she left my dad. It's not easy everyday, getting to be comfortable around each other again. I know she's trying really hard to regain my trust and I do my best not to push her away. We are slowly getting to know each other, something we never did before. I send her a quick text, not wanting to spend the next hour being yelled at for not giving her news sooner. I wonder how Rachel's dad got her number, I will thank him later for that.

Only a few seconds after I pressed send, the lights went of, living me in complete obscurity apart from the flashes of lighting outside.

_Oh god. _

I slightly panicked on my own, in this now dark and cold auditorium and decided to go find Rachel.

_He would definitely kill her first, I can use her as a human shield. Yeah, that's a good plan._

After only a few step outside the room I heard a noice. It wasn't loud, I could say it was coming from a certain distance and had just echoed through the school but still I jumped out of my skin and then started walking a little bit faster, looking around like I was followed by an invisible ghost while trying to be as quiet as possible.

_This is insane, I should be at home, on my couch, watching stupid tv shows while eating popcorn, not looking for freakin' Rachel Berry in a death trap!_

I heard another noice and instinctively hide in a corner at the end of a locker line.

_What on earth am I doing!_?

Realising how stupid I was being I slowly pulled away from the wall, peeking around the corner of the lockers to, of course, not find anything.

I stepped fully back in the middle of the corridor and sighed.

"God I'm so dumb sometimes" I whispered to myself before jumping and turning around when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"

We yelled simultaneously before I realised who I had encountered.

"What the fuck Rachel!_? _You scared the shit out of me!" I screamed at her, breathing heavily, throwing a hand in the air while the other one was on my chest.

"I'm sorry! I thought you heard me coming!" she yelled back between panting breath.

It took us a few seconds to calm ourselves.

"Where were you?" I wasn't yelling but you could feel the annoyance in my tone, even though I actually felt relieved not to be alone anymore and that she was safe-I mean that I was safe!

"I went to get the blankets." she told me like it was obvious, and indeed, she was carying four blankets with her.

"Oh." that's all I could say, feeling slightly stupid for not noticing.

"I'm sorry I scared you." she said while approaching me, I noticed right away this time that something wasn't right.

"Why are you limping?" There was genuine concern in my voice which seems to surprise her a little.

"Hum...I fell off a chair." she said, looking away in embarrassment.

"Why were you on a chair?" I probably could've find the answer myself but I was still recovering from my earlier fear.

"I couldn't reach the shelf where the blankets were, so I climbed on a chair and then there was the power cut, I couldn't see anything and I fell when I tried to come down. I think I sprained my ankle a little bit." she explained. She looked like a four year old waiting to get scolded for doing something foolish.

_Can she be even cuter?_

"It's okay, give me the blankets. You can lean on me to walk." my voice was calm, I didn't want to make her feel worse somehow.

I took the blankets from her, throwing them on my left shoulder then put her left arm around my neck, helping her walk back to the auditorium.

"Thank you." It wasn't louder than a whisper, like somehow she was scared I was going to change my mind if she said anything else.

_She really needs to stop being so scared of me._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_**Rachel's POV**_

Walking back to the auditorium with one arm around Quinn's neck was actually less awkward that I thought it would be, I mean I expected her to be much more annoyed with me after already almost two hours spend together but she seemed quite calm, or maybe just boiling inside.

That's the thing with Quinn Fabray, when I think I'm starting to get her or at least how she will react in certain situations or with certain people, she does something completely unexpected and I'm back to square one.

I'm not stupid, I know she's not acting like a bitch just because she feels like it, there is something more behind it, and I guess that's why I was never really mad at her for torturing me. It just always felt like she needed it, like she had something to prove. And the fact that right now, when there is just the two of us, she's actually being nice, only confirms it.

We got to the auditorium, which was now in complete darkness. She helped me up to the stage and slowly down to the mattress.

"I think the stage lights are independent from the main lines, maybe they will work " I really hoped I was right because the storm wasn't going to calm down anytime soon and we still have to spend at least 10 hours in here.

"I'll go check." Quinn simply said before going. I was glad there was someone with me, the fact that it was Quinn just made it much more interesting.

And on that thought, the stage lights went on. I let out a sigh of relief and Quinn walked back towards me.

"That's better. I found a flashlight too, in case we have to go back through the school." she put the flashlight next to the mattress and then knelt down in front of me.

"Now we need to look at your ankle." she said firmly.

Just the thought of it made the pain worse. She was about to touch it when I stopped her.

"Wait! You don't have to do that. Really I'm fine, I don't even...feel it, if I don't move. Just, leave it alone." That was probably the less convincing speech I had ever made and the look on her face only confirmed it.

"Come on Rachel. You can't just leave it like that, I promise I'll be careful not to hurt you." I knew she meant it, but my very low resistance to the pain wasn't helping.

"No it's fine I swear, I'm sure I'm overeacting. I'm not very good with...physical pain." my voice was hesitant and pleading.

_Good job Rachel. Let her see another annoying part of you!_

"Look, I'm just gonna remove your shoe so your foot can breathe okay? I'll do it really quickly and you will only feel the pain for a second."

I felt like I could trust her and knew she was probably right about the ankle.

"Okay do it. But really quickly."

I looked away, waiting for the pain to get worse and when it came, oh boy it was worse. I hissed in pain, grabbing the side of the mattress, my knuckles turning white.

"Done." she finally said. I looked back at her, the shoe was on the side and she had also removed my sock revealing a double sized ankle. I gasped in horror.

"Yeah, it's a little swollen." she said while looking cautiously at it.

"A little!_?_ It looks like someone else's foot!" I yelled back panicking.

"Oh don't exagerate!" she was still looking at it then lightly touched it.

"Ow!" the pain was getting worse and if she kept touching it, it was going to get ugly in here.

"Sorry." she said, still moving my foot around, I was very close to fainting.

"Do you even know what you're doing!" It sure didn't feel like it.

"I was on the cheerios! I had spread ankles on daily basis!" her tone was firm, making me want to stop whinning like a baby. So I decided to suffer in silence for a bit.

"You need to keep it elevated." That being said, she took one of the blankets, fold it and put it under my foot before examining it once more.

"We need to put some ice on it." she said without looking up.

"Where do you want to find ice in here?" Another useless question that I could have kept to myself, but she didn't seem to mind.

"I think there might be some in the cafeteria." she answered, already taking the flashlight in her hand.

I only realised then that she was taking care of me, like really taking care of me, not just putting me in a corner letting me deal with my pain like I thought she would, but instead was helping me getting rid of it.

_Back to square one again._

Once she was on her feet, she went searching through her jacket then came back, opened a bottle of water and handed it to me, as well as two pills.

"Take those, you will feel better. I'm gonna go get the ice, I'll be back in a little bit." her tone was reassuring, which seemed kinda odd to me, well actually this whole situation was odd to me!

I barely had time to take the pills that she was already out of the room.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_**Quinn's POV**_

Exhausted. Less than three hours with Rachel Berry and I am exhausted. Physically and mentally.

Having to think twice before talking or making any movement is really not would think that with my experience as head cheerleader, and ruler of this school, keeping apparences would be easy by now, and it usually is, but here, with her, it's just exhausting.

I hadn't planned to take care of her like that, hell I hadn't even planned to talk to her! But it was stronger than me. She didn't ask for it, she even told me not to, but knowing the pain she was in, having experienced it myself many times, I couldn't just stand there not doing anything.

During the removing of the shoe and the examination that followed, I kept trying to convince myself that I was doing it by pure pity for her not any other reason. But the truth is, I was worried about her.

_God! What is she doing to me?_!

Going to get the ice was my only way out, I really needed to compose myself. I didn't want to go back out there but it felt better than being close to her right now.

I was walking slowly, wanting to take as much time as possible, playing with the flashlight while trying to make sense of my actions.

_When did I started worrying about Rachel Berry?_

I tried to sum up our history in my mind. There was nothing much there except the bullying and few quick interactions, mostly me threatening or yelling at her.

Then my thoughts brought me to Finn, which brought me to Sam, which brought me to the reason why I ended up here in the first place.

I actually had forgot about them in Rachel's company, weird thing because nothing, and no one had been able to do that for the past week. Even when I had mono and was practicly dead to the world, I kept thinking about it.

I used to deal pretty well with guilt, just pushing it in a corner of my mind automatically, but since Beth, it's always there, eating me on the inside.

It was a lot easier when I was just angry, at least I had protection. I used to spend hours just thinking about how angry I was, at my parents, my childhood bullies, coach sylvester, must mostly at myself for letting it get to me.

I've always been a big thinker, I know how much words can hurt, so I try to use them only when needed. It's also why I like reading so much, to get a piece of someone's mind, getting immerse in a world that is not yours, having the time to think about words and what they mean.

I wish I could write, just so I could see things more clearly, even though I know that my life on paper must be a pretty scary thing.

I would never throw myself a pity party of course, but still, it's really hard to be me sometimes.

I got to the cafeteria and went through the back kitchen. All the fridge's doors were locked, not surprising since last month a couple of homeless hippies broke into the school and stole all the food plus a few chairs and Principal Figgins shoe collection.

I decided to just take a wet cloth, hoping it would be enough to stop the swelling.

I jumped in the middle of the kitchen when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I sighed heavily.

_I'm gonna die of a heart attack before morning._

I was expecting it to be my mom again but much to my surprise it was Santana.

**7:02 pm : Hey chica! Just wanted to know if you were alright, I'm at Britt's, she's totally freaking out because of the storm, she keeps yelling that they're coming back for her! XD Call me when you get this, she will be reassured to hear you voice. xx**

I really wanted to call for Britt, but it meant talking to Santana and lately it's not my favorite thing to do. I'm still pissed off by the mono thing and she still had yet to apologize for it. That's the thing with Santana, she never apologize, she's just gonna be nicer to you for a few days until you forget about it . Unlucky for her, I thought about it constantly, how Sam believed I saved Finn's life because he swallowed a gum...

He really loves me.

I didn't answer to her text and went back towards the auditorium in a normal pace, I had to go back in there at some point anyway.

I stopped in front of the door and took a deep breath.

_You can do this Fabray._


	6. Chapter 6

_**Hey guys ! First I'd like to thank you for the reviews, they're really motivating !**_

_**I'm gonna try to make longer chapters so the story doesn't look too divided, it might take me longer to update though, or not, will see ! :)**_

_** I really enjoyed writting this chapter so I hope you'll like it. :)**_

Chapter 6

_**Quinn's POV**_

When I entered she was lying on the mattress, mouth wide open as well as her eyes and looking at the ceiling like it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

_Yes, she managed to be cuter than before._

I stepped on the stage and she turned her eyes on me.

"Oh you're back, and you didn't get killed!" she told me with a smile, her voice was even more high and dynamic than usual and I wondered for a second if she was drunk.

"Yeah, sorry it took me so long. Are you okay?" I asked, she seemed distracted, looking around, I moved closer when I realised she wasn't going to answer.

"Rachel?" I touched her shoulder, she snapped her head back to me with wide eyes again then closed them for a few seconds before slowly opening them again.

_She's stone! _

"Yeah I'm fine, I don't feel the pain anymore...actually, I feel a little...elevated! It's like I'm floating...or flying maybe!...What did you give me?" she asked while squinting at me suspiciously.

"Aspirin." I simply answered.

"Oh." she took her eyes of me, slightly embarassed that there was no good reason explaining the state she was in. I had to hold back a laugh and just smiled at her instead.

"Then I guess it's just the pain that got to my head." she said while making an hurting face and proping her arm on her face.

_Drama Queen._

"I couldn't find ice, but I think a wet cloth will be enough for now." I slowly put the tissue on her ankle and pressed it lightly, her body tensed but she didn't stop me.

"Thank you." she said once I had stepped away.

"You're welcome." I just said, not really wanting to remind myself what I was doing.

I sat down cross-legged next to her, still keeping a certain amount of distance between us.

"Do you want to eat something?" I asked, handing her a chocolate bar, avoiding to look directly at her.

I could fell her eyes on me, like she was expecting more or just couldn't believe I kept talking to her.

_Nicely! You're talking to her nicely! That's what's weird!_

"No, I'm okay. But thanks again." I looked up and she caught my eyes, and I simply drowned into hers.

_Not good._

There was a connection, something I had never felt before, I couldn't explain it, but I knew she was testing me. She wanted to know if all of this was just an act, hiding deeper thoughts. Whether they were good or bad, I couldn't let her figure them out, that would be too much.

But still, I found myself not being able to look away.

After a few seconds, I sensed she was about to say something, still not leaving my eyes, until she was suddenly cut by a thunderbolt outside, making us both jump a little.

I quickly drove my eyes to the floor with the good intention to glue them there until morning.

_Note to self: do not make eye contact with Rachel Berry for more than 2 seconds or you will most certainly lose any ability to move, talk, or think._

She laughted softly. "Maybe this will be the worse storm after all."

I wondered what she exactly meant, was this going to be the worse storm because of the weather, or because of me.

Then again who could blame her, I would be scared too if I was her, because right now, I really don't know what's going on inside my head.

We stayed silent for a few minutes, the sound of the rain in the background was actually really relaxing. I was pretending to look through my phone not wanting for her to notice how pensive I was. Rachel didn't seem to have the same concerns since she was again looking at the ceiling, obviously thinking deeply.

_God, she talks loudly but she thinks even louder!_

"So..." she said slowly without looking at me.

_Here it is Fabray, she's gonna ask you why you're acting like this. Stay calm and think before answering anything stupid._

"So..?" I said back, expecting the worse.

"Why were you driving in the storm?" she asked with a tone that indicated that the question had just popped into her mind out of nowhere.

"What?" I thought I heard her wrong for a second.

"Earlier, you said you were driving by." she said with her matter-of-facty tone.

I wasn't expecting that one and had to think, fast.

"Oh, oh yeah, I just a...like...driving around." I answered.

_Really? Really!_?_ Of all the excuses you could find, like coming back from someone's house or even tons of possible minor emergencies, you choose to tell her that you like driving around during a deadly storm?_

"Really?" she asked like I had just said one of the weirdest thing.

She turned to look at me, she was waiting for a concrete answer.

" Yeah, it...helps me clear my head."

She nodded lightly at my answer, it was a plausible reason.

We felt back into silence, I thought I was off the hook, and I was wrong.

"Do you have a lot on your mind lately?" she asked in a casual way that really didn't fit that kind of question.

_What is this?_

I felt suddenly threatened, she was trying to get me to talk by using a carefree tone and I really didn't like it. In fact, if any of my walls had started to come down a little since we got there, in that moment, they pulled straight back up and even higher. I had to stop her before I start saying things she doesn't want to hear.

"Look Rachel, I get that there's only the two of us in here and that you have a certain need to talk about things, all the time, but I'm really not up to it." My voice was firm but not mean, I just wanted to make sure she understood that this wasn't a sleepover, there will be no chatting about our lives or sharing deep secrets.

"Fine. Sorry." she was more annoyed than disappointed which made me believe that she took it as an insult.

And then, I found myself doing something I never thought I would do, I apologized to Rachel Berry.

"No, I'm sorry. I just...I'm not good at this."

The end of that sentence was definitely not planned.

_You said too much! Now she's gonna want to know why!_

"Answering questions?" she asked, just to point out how ridiculous I was for reacting this way to a simple question. But it wasn't just a question, it was much more than that, and we both knew it.

"Talking,...about feelings and stuff..."

_Stop talking! Stop talking!_

"Well maybe it's only because you haven't found someone to talk to, or someone willing to listen." she said with an "I know everything" tone, or at least it was to my ears because I really started to get pissed off.

_Who does she thinks she is?_

"Don't do that." This time, my voice was firm and cold, she seemed a little taken aback by it.

"What?" she asked with a mix of confusion and what looked like fear on her face.

"Pretend like you know me. Because you don't. You don't know anything about me, or about my life and the people in it." I said tenaciously.

I expected her to say she was sorry and go back to silence or mumbling, but she didn't.

"It's not what I meant okay. It's just that you're always on the defensive around everyboy which makes it impossible to get to know you!"

She was right, and I knew it, but I just couldn't let her inside like that. Even if I wanted to, it was way to dangerous, so instead I did what I do best, I fought back.

"Well maybe I don't want YOU to get to know me." I spat back, hoping it would get to her.

"Yes thank you I realised that over the two years of bullying you put me through, but I'm not talking about me, I'm talking about everyone else. It's like...you don't trust anyone."

I was trapped, and the only way out was to give her something, something about me, something to show her that just talking about it was doing me more harm than good.

"Yeah well the last time I trusted someone he throw me out."

It was just a simple phrase, but there was so much behind it, all my insecurities, my humiliations, my guilt, my pain.

She saw it, but she didn't say anything about it and I was so thankful for that. Because at that moment she could have took advantage of it, of me, of my vulnerability and ask me all the painful questions I didn't want to answer, but she didn't. And for the first time I really saw her in a different way.

"But after that, there was a lot of people there for you."

I barely heard her say it, already too lost in my own thoughts.

I slowly lay down next to her and looked at the ceilling, listening to the rain, and she did the same.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_**Rachel's POV**_

I don't know how long we stayed without saying a word, it wasn't an heavy silence, we just both had to take in what had just happened.

I hadn't planned to ask her about her trust issue but my need for answers and obnoxious personnality made me do it.

I knew she wasn't going to pour her heart out to me or even give me a chance to try and figure her out but I didn't expect such a violent reaction, then again, she's Quinn Fabray.

After everything she's been through, I get that opening up can be hard, especially when you have a certain reputation to hold, I guess I'll get to know what its like once I'm famous.

But until then, I had the firm intention to break through Quinn's carapace and help her deal with the things she most certainly couldn't deal with on her own.

I know that if we both made the effort, we could be friends, or at least acquaintance. How do I know it? Simple, we're connected, she chose me has her personnal punching bag, not Tina, not Artie, not Kurt or any other underdog at this school, me. And that must mean something right?

Tonight was the perfect opportunity to make her see me differently.

The only problem now, is that I have no idea where to go from here.

Do we pretend like nothing happened?

_I don't want to._

Do I try again?

_I'm way to young and unrecognized to die._

Do I apologize?

_What for? I did nothing wrong! She's the one who lost it over a simple question!_

"What are your dads names?" she asked out of nowhere.

It took me a second to process her question, thinking there might be a double meaning to it but I couldn't find anything.

"Uhm… Hiram and Leroy." I answered hesitantly.

"What do they do?"

Why this sudden interest in my fathers, I had no idea, but if I wanted her to open up, I'd have to do it first.

"Dad, Leroy, is a writter and he's also volunteering part time at the Lima LGBT association, and Daddy is a teacher at the Arts Center school of Music and Dance."

She laughted lightly. I like hearing her laugh, she looks less afraid, more happy, more accessible.

"Now I get why you're the way you are." she said with a playful tone.

"What is that suppose to mean?" I asked with a smile.

"Nothing, they must have learn you a lot that's it."

"It's true that my dads have been there through every step of my future carreer's preparations, they're great, very supportive and also very...patient."

No need to explain why, she got it right away and she smiled at me.

_She's even more beautiful when she smiles._

Then she returned her head back to the ceiling for another few seconds of silence.

I wanted to ask her about her family as well but it was way to risky to open that door and I didn't want to upset her like earlier, so I just decided to keep quiet, but then she talked, as if she could read my mind.

"I wish my dad was like that." she said with a small voice, filled with sadness.

I understood it then, if Quinn was going to open up, even a little, it would have to be on her own terms, at her own rythm and with the right to back out at any moment. I could work with that.

I turned my head on the side to see her, her eyes were tearing up, something I absolutely didn't want to see. I know she saw me cried many times, sometimes because she made it happen, other times for complete different reasons, but she never reacted, always keeping her flawless cold stone face. But I knew that if I was ever to see Quinn cry again the way she did when she was pregnant, my heart would break like it did back then.

I had to do something to distract her without destroying the little progress we made.

"What does your mom do?" I asked, hoping she wasn't upset with her mom as well.

"What?" she looked at me, I had probably just tear her off from deep and complicated thoughts.

"Your mom, what's her job?" I asked again lightly.

'Uhm… she just started a catering business with one of her friend. That's why she has to travel a lot."

Her eyes weren't teary anymore.

_God job Miss Berry! _

"That's great!...So you're on your own?" I was intrigued by her everyday life.

What did popular, self-confident and beautiful Quinn Fabray turned into once she's in the comfort and safety of her home ?

"Yeah, but it's okay, it's better that way. I have more...space, to think and you know..." she said casually.

"You're lucky, I wish I could be on my own sometimes." I said then sighed heavily.

"Didn't you just said that your Dads were great?" she asked after a chuckle.

"Yeah they are, but sometimes they can also be...upsetting." I ended my sentence firmly, showing my annoyance with the two men.

"What did they do?" she asked with an genuily interested look.

I paused a few seconds before answering, I suddently wasn't so sure that what my fathers did could really be called upsetting in Quinn's world.

"They took my cellphone and other privilegies..." I said, barely louder than a whisper.

She laughed.

_Thank god._

"That's what you call upsetting!_?_ What did you do?" she asked, still laughing softly.

"Nothing." I said, looking away.

"Rachel...?" She was moving her head towards me with a smile, letting me know that there was no point in not telling her, she would find out anyway.

"Fine! I...I kinda...lost it a little, after the whole Finn-Satan thing and...burst into some sort of diva tantrum...and started throwing a few things around...one of those ending up on one of my dad's favorite vase, resulting by me being grounded for a month, no cellphone, no internet and no Barbra movie marathon."

She stayed silent for a few seconds then burst out laughting out loud.

_At least it's better than crying._

"That's not funny!" I yelled, half laughting myself.

"God Rachel you're such a geek!" she said having trouble breathing.

It felt good. I mean not being made fun of, but to actually being the reason why she's laughting. I know I contradict myself but I can't explain it in another way, at least for now. It was one of the best feeling in the world, and I didn't want it to stop, but it did.

Her phone rang, interrupting the moment which I will probably never experience again. Whomever it was that was calling, I was cursing them!

Quinn looked at her phone with a few last chuckles.

"I gotta take this." she said while looking at me with what looked like an apologizing look, before stepping away. I was beaming inside.

_Well that's new!_

She picked up and I started pretending that I was not listening, lifting my upper body so I could reach my ankle and examine it.

"Hey Britt. - yeah I'm fine -what? -uhm no -yes I would tell you if I had seen something-yeah I promise I will -don't worry though I'm sure they're not coming back for you -no we can't send an international warning Britt -your sweet -I'll be careful-yes, I'll tell my mom-

_There it is, the Quinn Fabray I'm dying to know._

"-okay Britt -love you too -no no don't! -Hey San. -I'm fine -I'm..at school, I got stuck in the storm and I was close to it so I went there -no he's not with me -I'm telling you he's not there -what is that supposed to mean! -I'm not scared! -look Santana I'm alone okay, no one's with me, and I can perfectly take care of myself thank you!"

She hung up on that.

Saying that I was hurt was an understatement. The fact that she wouldn't even acknowledged me when 5 minutes before we were laughting together was worse than everything she ever did to me. She could have said that she was stuck with me, that it was a nightmare being around me or a good occasion to torture me more, I would've understand because I know exactly what Santana thinks of me, but not mentioning me, she was saying that I was nothing, and it hurts.

I felt stupid for thinking that things could change because of one conversation, in which, and I realise that now, she actually just made fun of me like always. I felt like a wave was swallowing me, all my bad memories came back to me, all the slushies and humiliations, the joke that my life was being turn into everyday.

_You need to stop being so naive for crying out loud!_

But right now wasn't the time to argue with myself, I was really upset and Quinn was coming back towards me.

She sat back to her place like nothing happened.

_Is she fucking kidding me!_?

"So, you're here on your own right?" my tone was cold as well as the stare I was giving her.

She looked confused at first but then she understood what I was referring to.

"Look Rachel I just...forgot or something, it's not a big deal." she said, probably thinking I was overeacting like always.

"Of course it's not. It never is" I said with a sarcastic chuckle.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked, feeling insulted I guess.

"You know exactly what it's supposed to mean! That you don't care about anything or anyone but yourself! I yelled.

I was too angry to think about the consequences of this conversation and felt more confident than ever.

"Oh please I probably saved our asses there. Do you know what kind of shit Santana would have given us on Monday!" she justified herself. I wasn't bying it.

"So what I need to thank you now?_!_" my voice was echoing in the room. This could've easily been a play, a tragedy most likely.

"No but you're the one whose reacting like this!"

How could she not understand why I was in this state?

"Yes and I have freaking good reasons for that!" I was pointing at her, accusing her, she was the only reason.

"Why are you ruining this?_!_ We were okay!" she tried, it could've work a few sentences ago, but now I was too far gone.

"That's not what I call okay Quinn! It's just you playing another game!" What I was scared of from the beginning and of course eventually happened.

"I don't understand what you're talking about?"

Of course she did, playing with people's feelings to get what you want is what Quinn Fabray does best.

"Yeah, well that confirms it." I said before trying to get up.

"What are you doing?" she asked with an exasperate tone.

I didn't answer and put myself on one feet before walking to the door, well actually it was between limping and hopping. The pain was simply unbearable but my fury helped me through it.

"Where are you going?_!_" she yelled getting up.

"Away from you!" I yelled back, looking at her one last time before leaving.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hey guys ! A quick chapter but the 9 is coming soon and it will be a longer one. I thought a little music could be nice, after all it's a Glee fanfic :) Here's the youtube links if you want to listen while reading : **_

_**The Beatles version : youtube**__** watch?v=Xqu9qhBHWNs**_

_**The piano versi**__**on : /watch?v=Sciue30_98I**_

_**Enjoy!**_

Chapter 8

_**Quinn's POV**_

_What the hell just happened!_?

I was standing in the middle of the stage, staring at the door Rachel just went through.

I had no idea how we got from laughting about silly things to screaming at each other for way to important ones. That's exactly what I wanted to avoid by trying to talk about her dads and eventually my mom, it was easy and safe, and then Britt had to call and make me talk to Santana.

I really didn't think about telling her I was with Rachel, mainly because I hated the fact that she thought I couldn't be alone and take care of myself, which is what she explicitly told me, but also because I still couldn't believe I was hanging out with Rachel Berry without the need to murder her.

_Well now it's her who wants to murder me!_

I actually enjoyed having her around, she was easy to talk to when she wasn't rambling. But most importantly, she knew that I was more than just an high school mean girl, at least I think she knows...

I didn't want to hurt her, not today.

_I need to fix this._

I took the flashlight and prepared myself to go once more into the dark and haunted corridors, but when I went out, it was the completely different.

Music. Breathtakingly beautiful music, melting with the sound of the rain, echoing through the school. Rachel was playing piano, the melody of one of my favorite song, making me want to cry, tears of joy or sadness I didn't know, but my heart was aching and all I wanted in that moment is being near her, living it with her, like somehow she was calling me with those few notes.

I went to find her, following the magical sound, she was in the glee classroom, sitting in the dark with only the flashes of the storm.

I leaned in the door frame, I could see part of her profile, and I knew she could tell I was there, but she didn't stop playing. When she started the melody from the begining I couldn't help myself, I started singing.

**The long and winding road**

**That leads to your door**

**Will never disappear**

**I've seen that road before**

**It always leads me here**

**Lead me to your door.**

**The wild and windy night**

**That the rain washed away**

**Has left a pool of tears**

**Crying for the day.**

**Why leave me standing here?**

**Let me know the way.**

**Many times I've been alone**

**And many times I've cried,**

**Anyway you'll never know**

**The many ways I've tried.**

**And still they lead me back**

**To the long, winding road**

**You left me standing here**

**A long, long time ago**

**Don't leave me waiting here**

**Lead me to your door.**

**But still they lead me back**

**To the long winding road**

**You left me standing here**

**A long, long time ago**

**Don't keep me waiting here**

**Lead me to your door.**

By the end of the song a few tears had rolled down my cheeks. I hadn't realise how much this song could apply to my life.

Rachel was still looking down at her hands, I brushed the wet marks on my face and stepped toward her.

"I didn't know you coud play." I asked softly, I could have guessed, after all she's Rachel Berry.

"Not much, just a few songs" she said.

I wanted to tell her that if she could play those songs as perfectly as she just did than it's more than enough but I didn't want her to think that I was avoiding the confrontation by complimenting her.

"I love this song." I simply said instead, and I did, even more with her playing it.

"My dad is a Beatles fan, he used to sing it to me when I couldn't sleep at night." she said with what seemed like nostalgia in her voice.

I caught myself thinking about the little Rachel in her bed listening to her father and how time goes by so fast. My father used to sing to me as well but then I had to grow up. I felt like crying again so I just stopped thinking about it to focus on Rachel again and how I managed to hurt her once more in her life.

"I'm sorry Rachel, I didn't mean to hurt you okay? I just...I do things sometimes, stupid things and...I don't really think about the consequences I guess."

It was true, for the big thinker that I was, once I get angry, sad, or disappointed, everything goes blur and it takes over me. Sometimes I regret it, sometimes I don't, but each time I end up feeling weak resulting in me doing more harm or me crashing down.

"I'm just..I'm not good at this" It was a lame excuse but I couldn't explain it any other way, I simply didn't know how to act around people, my thoughts are always contradicting themselves and at some point I just stop thinking.

"You already said that." it was more a simple remark than a reproach but I could still feel her annoyance with me.

"Yeah well it's true" Like I said, no idea how to explain it without giving her too much.

"Can we just stop doing that, fighting I mean, because it's really exhausting fighting with you." I tried, really hoping she felt the same but already knew she wasn't going to give up so easily.

"Don't you think I haven't been exhausted for the past two years?"

That was a reproach, a big one, the biggest one actually but it wasn't fair to use it for any reason. If she wants to try and get to know me, she's gonna have to stop rubbing it in and accept to start new, it's the only way it would ever feel safe enough.

"Is that your excuse for everything_!_? I can't redo the past Rachel! Look I did what I did okay. I'm not proud of it."

Indeed, I've never been proud of it, maybe on the moment when all my emotions are frozen, but after, let just say that guilt is my personnal bully.

"Really? Because you often look pretty proud to me." she turned to say it to my face, looking me right in the eyes, daring me to reply.

"Oh please we're in high school! You're better off being the victim than the tormentor." I said matter-of-facty. She was chocked, really chocked, if I had just slapped her in the face it would have been the same.

"Are you even hearing yourself_!_?" she couldn't believe what I had just said but I could.

"Yes I do, and trust me, I gave it a lot of thoughts. All the slushies, the names calling, the reputation, once you'll be out of here being a huge broadway star in New York it won't matter anymore. Hell I'm sure it might even give you great stories to tell during talk show interviews. But me, I'll always cary those years. I'll probably end up being a Lima real estate agent, marry a guy like Sam or Finn, have 2.3 babies, a big house, and be happy I guess, but I'm always gonna live with those regrets."

Now she looked confused and worried. If she was about to play the pity card on me I was going to lose it, still if she was about to tell me that all of this was true, I don't think I would ever recover.

"Is that really the future you want?"

I didn't get why she was so surprised, it's pretty obvious that I'm not gonna do much with my life and that high school are my golden years, but I've already ruined that. I'm okay with it though, I never expected much, just the basics, being a good christian, getting married, having kids, having a job that I don't hate too much. There is nothing more to hope for when you're a Lima kid with no real talent, and the world outside is way too scary to take chances.

"That's the future I'll have." I simply answered. She looked at me deeply, trying to figure out if I was actually being serious.

"No it's not. Come on Quinn, you're smart, talented, beautiful and I'm sure you have dreams much bigger than that. You just don't have the gutts to go for them."

_Can she read my mind or something?_

"Whatever." I just said, avoiding another topic that could lead to many others, which all together were the reason why sometimes it's really hard to be me.

"So are coming back to the auditorium or what?" I asked with casualty after a few seconds of heavy silence, I wanted to light up the mood and I prayed she would let me.

"It depends, are you going to act like a bitch again?" she asked with a firm but lighter tone. She was letting me.

I couldn't help but laugh, all of this for that, she really was a drama queen.

"What?" she asked, looking at herself for a second.

"Nothing, it's just that cursing really doesn't suit you Rachel" This answer was safer than my actual thoughts.

"Fine. Then I guess I'll spend the night here." she said firmly turning back on the stool to face the piano and not me.

"Oh come on, I promise I'll be nice. Plus I know for a fact that your ankle must be killing you right now." Just thinking about it my own ankle was itching.

"No it doesn't." she said, still not looking at me.

"Rachel you're sweating, and it's like 10 degrees in here." That she couldn't deny, but I was actually worried she might have gotten a fever, and that wasn't good.

"Come on, I'll help you back there, you need to rest and keep it elevated."

I stepped closer to her and took her left arm to put it around my neck just like earlier, she didn't resist because she knew I was right. I got her up and she hissed in pain.

"Walking was a very, very, very bad idea." she finally said with a painful face before we walked back to the auditorium once again.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Hey guys! Sorry it took me longer than planned, I had a few internet problems. So here's chapter 9, a lot of talking in this one but they need it don't you think? Anyway, enjoy and don't hesitate to give reviews, I'm really grateful for those I had so far, thank you again! :)**_

Chapter 9

_**Rachel's POV**_

We got back to the auditorium about 30 minutes ago and I was now in serious need of an amputation. During that time Quinn had went to find another wet cloth for my head which apparently looked terrifying, and refresh the one for my ankle, we then ate what you can't really call food in my opinion while talking about school and other non-personnal subjects as I would call them. And now, we were back to our initial position, laying on the floor looking at the ceiling in silence, except this time I was wrapped tightly in a blanket, and could certainly be mistaken for an egg roll.

"What time is it?" I asked finally.

"9:39" she replied before putting back her cellphone on the side.

"Did we just spend an hour and a half fighting?"

I think I never held that long. Confrontations aren't really my best field contrary to what most people think. Yes, I usually start them but it certainly isn't my fault if everyone always need to disagree with me.

She laughted softly, playing with the aim of her own blanket.

"I thought it would've last so much longer, like, a never ending thing." she exagerated, shaking her head slowly.

"I see you prepared yourself for that." I said with a smile, she smiled back at the ceiling.

We had talk more in 3 hours than we ever did in two years, and frankly, I wanted more. I had discovered things about Quinn, hell I had discover another Quinn, the one I always had the feeling was there, but to secured to approach.

"How's the fever?" she asked after I shivered in my strangling blanket.

"Okay, I think it's going down." I wanted to tell her thank you again for taking care of me but it wasn't a good idea to remind her all the time because I think she really wasn't looking for any attention.

"You shoud sleep it off." she said, already shifting position to prepare herself to sleep.

"How do you want me to sleep in the pain that I'm in?" my voice was pleading, I just wanted the pain to decrease, even a little but knowing my body, it wasn't going to happen soon.

"Do you want another aspirin?" she asked with an unsure tone.

"I don't think that's a good idea..." Aspirin and other pain killers aren't really my thing, my dads have always given me natural remedies for when I'm sick so I'm really not used to have anything remotly chimical in my system.

"Yeah what was that by the way?" she asked with a laugh.

_Oh nothing, aspirin just make me high._

"I just don't react very well to certain meds." I answered instead.

We fell again into a comfortable silence, she had closed her eyes and I was looking at her. I often do actually, not like a stalker or anything, I'm just always trying to catch her eyes. It's because of them that I first knew there was more to her. It's amazing what you can learn about someone just by looking at their eyes especially someone like Quinn, who keeps everythinginside. I remember as if it was yesterday, the first time I saw them, it also marked my first slushy. September 6th 2008, fifth day of freshman year, after second period at 9:57 am while going to english class. I saw the cup coming but I didn't expect it to hurt so much, physically and morally. When I had wipe the red ice cold drink from my eyes I looked at my attacker, what I saw I didn't expect.

The most beautiful face I had ever seen, the flawless hazel eyes and the regret, the fear and even the compassion that was in them. She didn't want to do this and I new it then, I could hear a voice in the distance saying "Nice one Fabray, now you're in." I couldn't move, I couldn't talk, I couldn't breathe, all I did was looking into her eyes for what seemed like an eternity, until she looked away a walked pass me. Over the weeks, months, years, the slushies kept coming and her eyes progressivley changed into the cold and mean ones that I would meet so many times. But sometimes that other look, the hearfelt one, comes back, when she reads, when she sings, when she thinks deeply or when she's really sad, I think I even saw it a few times when she was happy but you can't never be sure with her.

Now her eyes were closed and she felt almost like a complete stranger, more than she actually is I mean. I didn't want this night to end like that, I wanted to know more, so I did what I do best, I talked.

"I lied to you earlier.I pretended I didn't know why you ended up here but I saw your car on the parking lot after school and about an hour before I went out." That woke her up and she rested her now so familiar eyes on me.

"Then I guess I lied as well." she simply said. I still had to go get the answers from her but I didn't mind, it gives us time to get comfortable really talking to each other, time to think twice before saying something, maybe it will disappear progressively, that is if she still talks to me after tonight.

"Did you stay in your car for 3 hours?" I knew she had, I thought about knocking on her car window but she looked so focus there was no point in trying to help.

"Maybe... I... needed to think." I wanted to ask about what but restrained myself.

_No direct questions, warn her before. _

"Can I ask you a personnal question?" There it was, the word I was afraid to say but really wanted to use, "personnal".

"Isn't it all you do since we got here?" she said with a little touch of sarcasm. She was actually the one who was making them personnal, not me.

"Not really no" I answered seriously.

"Fine, anyway I'm to tired to yell at you anymore." she let out a tired sigh.

_Now direct questions are aloud._

"Good to know. So how are things between you and Sam?" I decided to go right into it, it's not like we had all the time in the world and I will probably never again get the chance to ask her the few questions that had been floating in my mind.

After a few seconds she still hadn't answered, I wondered if she was about to explode like earlier, but nothing happened.

"Quinn?"

"I said you could ask, not that I would answer." she finally said.

_She is good._

_But I'm better._

"Oh come on, you wouldn't want Santana to know about our little sleepover, would you?" I asked with a content smile.

"Are you blackmailling me Berry?" she asked with wide eyes.

"I wouldn't call it blackmailing, just...getting my way." It felt good to have the power for once and I wasn't about to let it go.

"Unbelievable. You do realise that you made a crazy scene about an hour ago because I didn't tell Santana you were there, right?"

"Yes, but if it's my choice then it's different. Take it as a little payback for earlier." I said with a joyful tone.

"Okay but do I really have to answer that one?" she asked with exasperation.

"Yep." She sighed once more and even grumble before turning her head to me.

"Then I guess...they're not..really good. I mean Sam is a great guy and everything but there's just...something missing."

I wasn't expecting an answer with that many words, I thought she would just dismiss it with a "fine" or "amazing", but this looked a lot like opening up, to me.

"Like what?" Stupid question but I needed her to go further.

"I don't know." I could've jump to another question, another subject but now I was interested.

Finn had told me a few things about is relationship with Quinn, using words like temperamental, secretive, determined or even mean. Back then, being completely smitten, I believed him without questionning, knowing how cold she could be. But until now, I never thought that maybe it was because of him, because he wasn't a good enough boyfriend to actually make her happy. I needed to know so I just asked.

"Was there something missing with Finn as well?" I asked tentatively. She looked a little taken aback by the question but still answered.

"Sometimes. I just..I just don't feel the way I'm supposed to, I think. Like, when you're with someone aren't you supposed to always want to be with them and I don't know getting goosebumps or butterflies or stuff like that?"

It took me a second to get the fact that she was really asking.

"Uhm, I guess yeah" I replied hesitantly.

_I will officially never become a counselor!_

"Well I feel the complete opposite most of the time, I just want them to leave me alone."

What do you say after that? I had no idea but I tried anyway.

"Maybe it's because you haven't find the right person yet."

"Maybe. So you and Finn...?"

"It's over. I don't think we were meant to be anyway, we're way too different. I mean not just our personnalities but also how we see things, people, situations, relationship, life..."

That is for sure, but more than that, Finn doesn't really pay attention to people and their feelings, but again, maybe it was only because it was me.

"Did you love him?" she asked seriously.

_Good question._

I wasn't sure but I guess I did, and Jesse as well. They made me feel better, like I meant something to someone for once. If that's love, than yes,I felt it, but if that's love, it's quite disappointing. I didn't want to tell her that, she looked already confused enough with her own problems so I just went along with it.

"Uh-huh…but sometimes love is not enough. Like you said, there's something missing."

Silence again, I rather enjoyed it which is kinda rare, but then I thought about something.

_Did I just talk boys with Quinn Fabray?_

I started laughing. This situation was just too crazy not to laugh about.

"Are you losing it again Berry?" she asked with a confused look.

I tried to answer between my giggles.

"No, it's just that if this morning someone had told me I would be talking relationships laying on a crappy mattress in the auditorium with Quinn Fabray, I would have laugh."

She chuckled and rolled her eyes at me, if it was unbelievable to me, I wonder what it was to her.

My laugh slowly die down and I figured it was time for another question.

"Can I ask you another personnal question, to which you will answer?"

"Wait, how many of those do you have because I'm afraid I'm gonna have to stop you at some point." she said seriously.

"Well, I have quite a lot actually. I don't think we can do all of them tonight..." Except if I get her to talk fast, she throws insults at a very reasonable rythm, she can throw answers as well right?

"Yeah, and we're not even gonna try, I give you three questions. You already asked one so you still have two to go."

That's a tough choice and I needed to make it wisely, there was so many subjects I wanted to go into, but I found one that had been revived earlier.

"Okay, what' your dream?" she looked confused so I explained a bit more." I mean, my dream is to be a broadway star, what's the ultimate thing you'd like to become or to do? And don't give me your Lima real estate agent speech, I want to know your real dream."

I could see she already had the answer, she was just fighting with herself whether or not she could give it to me.

"A writter." she simply said. I wasn't surprised, I could absolutely see Quinn has a writter, what her books would be about I have no idea but I'm sure she has a lot to say.

"Have you written anything yet?" Quinn didn't look like the type to have a journal but maybe some hidden poetry somewhere.

"Not yet. And it's not because I dream about it that I can be it."

And just like that, I made it my personnal mission to help Quinn Fabray reach her dream, that is if she lets me of course.

" "The future belongs to those who believe in their dreams." " I quoted.

"Eleanor Roosevelt." she said with a smile.

"A truly amazing woman." Oh yes she was.

She chuckled but didn't say anything, I guess it was enough on the topic.

I had plenty very personnal question but while talking about dreams, I thought about mine of course, as well as regionals coming up and how much I wanted us to win. I developed an idea about a few weeks ago that I thinks would garantee us the victory.

"Well, my last question is not really a personnal one, I just want your opinion about something."

"Sure." She looked more than relieved and willing to give it but I felt suddently nervous.

_What if she hates it and think it's completely crazy?_

"I had the idea that...maybe...we could try to do...original songs for regionals." I finally said with hesitation.

"Like, us writting songs?" she asked with a doubtful expression, I nodded.

"You do realise that Finn, Puck and Britt are in the group right?"

Of course I thought about it, and came to the conclusion that maybe some would be motivaters more than workers.

"Yeah but if it's a team effort I'm sure that all of us together could do something great and it woud give us such an advantage compared to the other schools, I mean, it would be a part of us that we could share with the audience! I really do believe it could work."

It was an inspired speech that I was ready to give to the entire Glee Club, having Quinn made it just easier to prepare myself for the strong criticism that will most certainly come from my fellow teammates.

"Have you ever write a song before?" her question was genuine and understandable.

"Well no but with my high sense of rythm and love for beautiful words I think it shouldn't be to hard. After all, there's a first time for everything right?"

She didn't look convinced but was still thinking about it.

"I guess we could at least try, but I don't think much of them will want to. We're pretty lazy people in case you haven't notice."

"I know but I'm sure I'll be able to motivate them! " I said with dynamism.

"If you say so."

"So... I have your vote?"

She hesitated while I really had to stop myself from giving her the puppy eyes.

"Fine...I guess you got it." she finally said. I wanted to hug her but restrain myself and instead gave her my brightest smile.

"Thank you Quinn."

"Okay now that you're done with your annoying questions, can we sleep because this was a very long day and I'm really tired." she said with eyes closed, already shifting to find a more comfortable position which must be simply impossible on that rock of a mattress.

I couldn't move because of my careful wrap up, and even if the fever had come down, I was still in an hot and cold state.

"Isn't it hot in here?" I asked, stretching my neck to gain so fresh air.

"No." she simply answered.

"Do you think it's alright to leave my ankle like that? Isn't it gonna get worse in the night?"

"No, it's gonna be fine, trust me." It's true that my ankle was still killing me and that the perspective of an amputation would certainly come haunting my dreams, but there was something even worse.

"All right but...don't you feel dirty?" I said with desperation and a disgust face.

She sighed and talked with her eyes still closed.

"It's one night Rachel, I set up the alarm at 6, your father will come and get you and I'm sure that by 7 you'll be completely clean, then you will go see a doctor that will take care of your ankle. So now stop thinking about it, stop thinking about your ankle, or what we talked about tonight or anything that could keep you awake and just close you eyes, sing yourself a lullaby or count sheeps I don't care, just stop talking please." her tone was almost desperate and I felt bad for a second, I wanted to apologize but it involves talking of course, so I did what I was told and started listing all of Barbra's songs and musicals, giving Quinn a quiet good night before drifting to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hey guys! Sorry for the late update but I had a lot of school work. This chapter was supposed to be longer but I decided to cut it in two so you wouldn't have to wait too long, the other part will be up tomorrow or the day after.**_

_**Enjoy! :)**_

Chapter 10

_**Quinn's POV**_

The alarm woke me up at 6 just like planned. I hadn't get up that early since Coach Sylvester's morning torture sessions and found myself having a lot of trouble just opening my eyes.

Once I did, I noticed right away that Rachel was still sleeping soundly, she looked so peaceful, I stared at her for a few seconds before tensing when I realised the position I was in, which was a very, very unexpected one. On my stomach, my left arm spread accross Rachel's chest whom was holding it lightly with her hands. Let just say that the word awkward had reach its limits.

_What am I supposed to do now?_

Waking her up was out of the question, yes last night was bearable, and maybe it felt nice to talk to someone but still, this was Rachel Berry, you give her a finger she takes the arm.

Finding us in this position could be taken as a sign that I want to be her friend or something, which is just absolutely impossible right now, I already have too much on my plate without having to think about not hurting her feelings, which I'm sure I'm going to do anyway.

As slowly and gently as possible, I tried to free my arm with the constant fear that she was going to pop up like a clown from his box.

She didn't, and I soon rolled away from her to put distance between us but missed the closeness right away. I wasn't used to being held and even less holding someone myself, it's crazy how something this simple can make so much effect on a person, a feeling of warmth, security, love, convained by the simple touch of two bodies.

Affection, that's what I miss the most, you could say I have a lot with my mom, my friends, the two boys that apparently love me, but the truth is, I still haven't found that special person whose affection would be able to heal the wounds, kill the pain, and most importantly, make me believe that everything is going to be okay, because right now, it really doesn't look like it.

A faint light was coming from outside, the sun was bearly raising up, the rain had stopped, but I could still hear the wind blowing, like voices greeting the morning.

I stood up and came down the stage quietly before going outside with my blanket tightly around me. The scene I had before my eyes was horrifying, I might as well have been in a post apocalyptic movie.

_Zombies will be out soon._

All the trees, cable lines, fences, road signs, everything was down and there was thick mud everywhere. On the up side, the sky was plain blue.

I looked around for a bit before my eyes caught sight of my car.

"Fuck!" I yelled, so loud that a few birds escaped from the corpse of a tree.

My car was still at its initial place but was now crushed throughout its length by a 12 feet tree trunk.

I was completely shocked, I literally couldn't move, and was just standing there, eyes wide, mouth open and about to faint. I didn't realised Rachel was beside me until I felt her hand on my shoulder.

"Quinn?" her soft voice put me out of my daze and I looked at her.

"My car." I told her in case she hadn't noticed.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. But don't worry I'm sure your mom will understand." she said with a calm voice.

"No it's not that, I need this car! It's the only freedom that I own!" my voice was desperate and I had soon my head in my hands. Not having my car meant that I was going to need someone to take me to school and everywhere else, and I'm pretty sure that there's two boys out there who would be thrill to take me.

_This is a nightmare._

"I'm going to call my dad, we'll give you a lift." she said before heading back inside, still limping.

I stood there for another ten minutes, then examined the car closer trying to figure out how much it was going to cost and especially how long it was going to take to be fixed. I decided to go back to the auditorium after my fourth lame attempt to lift the trunk, I really was desperate.

Inside I found Rachel on the phone with her dad, I sat on the edge of the stage I waited for her to finish.

"-yeah it was okay, though I hurt my ankle- I fell-okay, see you soon-bye." she hang up and came to sit next to me.

"How's your ankle?" I asked, already knowing it was better.

"Better. My dad is happy to get you home."

_Happy?_

"Happy?"

"Yeah, he really wants to meet you." I couldn't find the irony in her tone,

"Is he gonna yell at me or something, or give me meaningful speech about how I shouldn't ruin other people's life?"

"What? No, he just wants to thank you for taking care of me." Probably because he feels obligated.

"But he does know who I am right?" Maybe she hadn't told him anything.

_Yeah right, keep dreaming!_

"Yeah he does." she simply replied.

I was starting to panic a bit, I never thought I would have to meet Rachel's dad and even if I take responsability for all my actions, I felt like a 4 year old about to get reprimanded.

"Oh god."

"Don't worry, he's not gonna say anything." Of course he's not going to, everything will be in the eyes which is ten time worse.

"Are you sure of that because if I had to meet the girl that had been bullying my daughter for two years, I would rip her head off!"

Yeah I know, I'm a fucking hypocrite, but just thinking about Beth being hurt, I could murder someone.

"He won't, I told them what you did but also that there was more to it."

I didn't like where she was going with that, like somehow she knew more about me that she's supposed to.

"What do you mean?" I asked, already feeling my mood shifting.

"Well, I know that you don't always want to do those things, that you just...have to."

How does she come up with these stuff? And why the hell does she even care?

"So what, you think I don't make my own decisions?" I said with a cold tone, I wasn't really mad, I just wanted her to explain, to go further.

"No it's not what I mean...You're just...you're not that bad. I know you want everyone to think that your in control and fearless, and most of them do, but a lot has changed since you join the glee club and we got to see another side of you. "

And not the best side, if there's something I hate more than the guilt I carry everyday, it's other people's pity, especially if I don't ask for it. Sure, it can be useful and even appreciaded if your in control but otherwise it's more hurtful than anything else.

Independence, Power, and Control, it's all you need, until it's not enough.

We kept silent after that, and a few minutes later, Rachel's dad entered the room.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

_**Quinn's POV**_

We kept silent after that, and a few minutes later, Rachel's dad entered the room.

He went straight to Rachel and gave her a tight embrace as if he hadn't seen her in weeks, quite different from my mom's awkward hugs.

"You okay sweetie?" He asked still holding on to her forearms, examining her from head to toe.

"I'm fine Dad, I promise, it's just my ankle." she replied, trying to calm him down a bit, that's when he noticed me, and much to my surprise gave me a real smile.

"Oh I'm sorry you must be Quinn, I'm Leroy Berry." He offered his hand which I took, it was a light handshake, not the crushing one I was expecting.

"Yes, nice to meet you." I said shyly, a tone that I use once in a blue moon.

"Thank you for taking care of Rachel." he said with sincerity before turning to his daughter " I already got you an appointment to the doctor this morning at 11 and your daddy called the dance teacher. Oh and I also called a mechanic for your car Quinn." It took me a second to realise he was talking to me.

_Wait, What?_

"Euh…thank you very much, you really didn't have to do that." He really, really didn't have to, it only made me feel guiltier.

"Oh it's nothing sweety." he said with a smile.

I was trying to look as composed as possible but this was just weird, weird and highly unexpected. If this was an act then it was really well played, somehow I knew it wasn't, Leroy Berry seemed to be a very nice and caring man, not the kind to yell at a 17 year old, but who would actually help her.

"I"m going to get your stuff, you two can go in the car." he said already hopping on the stage.

"Come on." I said putting my jacket on before taking Rachel's arm around my neck once more, and walking outside.

We got to the car and I helped her in the back seat, then went to sit next to her, letting out a sigh.

"You're okay?" Rachel asked with a worried look.

_No._

Of course not, this whole situation just made me uncomfortable, I felt like a murderer who decides to surrender because his remorse is too unbearable but once he gets to the police, they don't give a fuck.

"Yeah I'm fine, it's just…is your dad always like this?" I asked hesitantly.

"Like what?" Maybe this was normal Berry behavior but still, there must be more to it, right?

"Like...super nice and...why hasn't he say anything yet! Or give me the death look, or making allusions on what an horrible person I am ? " I snapped, this was way too much stress and it was way too early for me to be rationate and calm.

She laughted lightly and the sound made me calmed down a bit.

"Do you have some kind of kamikaze tendencies that we don't know about?" she asked with a smile.

"No...it's just...I don't understand!" I said with frustration.

"Look, first of all, like you said, my dad is a very nice man, as well as a very understanding one, he's not gonna be mean to you, he just...he can't. Second of all, the way I related our...encounters is quite moderate, they don't know the whole truth, I didn't want to worry them more than necessary. And finally, my dad knows that I would never forgive him if he was to yell at one of my frie...teamates, because it could be a direct threat to the glee club and we certainly don't need arguing and awkwardness with regionals coming."

Just when she was finishing her little speech, which actually made me feel better, the car trunk opened and Mr Berry loaded our bags, then went behind the wheel.

"Okay we're ready to go! What's your address Quinn?"

"I live on Wildbrook Lane, near the Bresler Lake."

"Oh yeah, that's a very nice neighborhood, one of our friends live there, maybe you know him, his name's Alan Lovett." He was talking with the same dynamism as Rachel and seemed to be really good at small talk just like her, much to my dismay.

"No, I don't think I know him." Of course I didn't know him, my parents never really talked to people except at work, church and their private clubs. Let's just say that one of my dad's moto is "stick to your own kind.", the truth is, I'm not even sure who I am anymore, so finding my kind has become a pretty difficult task.

"Well it might take longer that usual, a lot of roads have been closed because of the storm, but lucky for you I'm an extremely talented driver." he said before winking at me in the rearview mirror, I gave him a smile in return, he started the engine and drove out of the parking.

Rachel was looking out the window, I could tell she was in deep thought and for a second I felt closer to her. Maybe we weren't so different after all, it's just that she has the need to say everything when I have the need to keep it, but it seems that when we're together, we kinda balance each other out.

I never thought Rachel and I could be friends, or even good teamates like she says, mainly because I don't think she will ever really be able to forgive me for the past two years, but also because we just have nothing in common. I'm not saying you need to be in 100% symbiosis with your friends but still, reading the same books, having similar taste in music, matching favorite movies or sports, can help a lot, and I know enough about Rachel to say that we definitely don't match.

My thoughts were cut by Mr Berry's voice.

"So Quinn, what are your plans for the week-end?" he asked.

"Humm… I think I'm just gonna stay home, my mom is coming back tonight." I replied, looking at the broken trees on the side of the road. I miss her when she's away but still find it difficult to be around her too much when she's home. I guess I have yet to get used to the new family arrangement.

"Oh yes Judy, lovely woman. We talked quite a bit last night, she actually invited us for dinner next week."

Both mine and Rachel's head snapped to the man's back.

_What the hell?_

I never talked about homosexuality with my mom but I'm pretty sure it's not her favorite lifestyle, why on earth would she invite the Berry's?

_Maybe she doesn't know their gay..., of course she knows, everybody knows!_

"She did?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes, I might write an article on her catering business." he said with a smile, they obviously talked more than a bit. I was glad that my mom tried to go outside of her circle and meet new people but if she was to become friend with the Berry's things could get ugly, especially since my dad is still around.

"Really? That's great dad." Rachel was giving me side glances to see my reaction but all she would get was my famous poker face.

Mr Berry kept light conversation after that, talking about the storm and how he and his husband spend the night in the living room because they seriously thought the roof was going to be ripped off by the wind, he really knew how to tale, making it an epic story. I found myself laughting with Rachel for the second time in less than 24 hours, but I felt okay about it, I really don't laugh much lately.

We arrived to my house and around was the same chaotic scene, the big front tree that I used to climb to when I was a kid was bearly holding. I won't miss it, I wasn't doing it for fun, I was going up there to escape the house, and also because I used to believe that if I prayed closer to the sky then maybe God would hear me a little bit better.

"Thank you very much for the ride, and for calling the mechanic as well." I said before unfastening my seat belt.

"No problem sweetie. I guess I'll see you next week, have a great week-end!" he said with the dynamic smile that I was now seeing as his signature.

"Thanks, you too." I turned a bit on my seat to face Rachel.

"I guess I'll see you on Monday." she said with an hesitant voice. For some reason I wanted to hug her but quickly push the thought in a far, far away corner of my head and just nodded.

"Yeah, see you." It's all I said before getting out of the car.

I entered the house and let out the loudest sigh. I was finally home, away from Rachel Berry, and will soon regain all my mental abilities.

I decided to call my mom and realised I had 5 missed calls from Finn and 7 from Sam.

_Mental abilities, who needs them?_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

_**Rachel's POV**_

I watched Quinn as she entered her house, wondering if this was all there was, wondering if now that we both went back to our normal routine things will get back to the way they were.

I'm not saying that want her to be my best friend and talk to me for hours on the phone, but just hoping that she wouldn't completely ignore me the next time we meet.

The rest of the morning went by fast, I took my oh so needed shower, ate breakfast and did some homework and basic vocal training until it was time to go for my appointment. No matter how hard I tried, how focused I was on my work or talking with my dads, I couldn't stop thinking about Quinn. It felt like she had invided my brain, of course I already thought a lot about Quinn before, mostly to convince myself that she was more than just a bitch, but now that I actually knew it was true, I had millions of questions popping in my head.

_Is she going to change?_

_Was this just a game?_

_Why is she so scared of others?_

_Is there a way to keep gaining her trust?_

_Can I become her friend? _

_Can I figure her out?_

These and so many others that I fear are going to be unanswered for while.

Just like predicted, I had a minor sprain, and thanks to Quinn, the swelling hadn't got to bad. It's with a brand new ankle brace and pair of crunches that I went home, plus some pain killers that might have the wrong effects on me. As soon as I sat on the couch I fell asleep, 4 hours, that's how long I slept, and the only reason I woke up is because I was forced to by my dads, who had the extreme kindness not to mention my unproductive afternoon.

My dads were preparing dinner and I was still half asleep, head down on the kitchen island.

"Stay awake sweetie otherwise you won't be able to sleep tonigh." dad said, poking me on the side.

"I know...what are those pills they gave me?" I asked with a tired and annoyed voice.

"Just what you need. Here, drink this." Daddy handed me some coffee, I don't usually drink coffee, especially at 7:30 pm but I took all of it, I still had to practice a bit before bed.

"So. How did it go with Quinn?" He was trying to be casual but I could feel the tension in his voice, he was worried.

"Fine, she didn't kill me." I replied with a smile, he wasn't amused.

"I'm serious Rachel, did she do or say something?" he had now his arms crossed on his chest and was looking right at me, dad was next to him, pretending to be cooking when actually preparing to step in when needed. They both had ask me this question a lot of times since freshman year, I learned how to make them less worried: having extra clothes in my locker so I wouldn't come home with slushy all over me, as well as doing my own laundry, showing them my videos before putting them online so they wouldn't have to see any comments, waiting until I am alone in my room if I need to cry, and making them understand that there was more to it, more to her, and the only way to do that was by not saying the whole truth.

"She didn't do anything okay? She was actually nice and she helped me with my ankle, we just talked, got to know each other a bit." I was confident with my answer because for once it was the truth, no hidden insults or remarks, and it felt good.

"She seemed to be a lovely young woman when I met her this morning." my dad said. He was playing the good cop tonight which I was very thankful for, until I realised that there was actually going be a bad cop.

"Leroy...of course she can be nice and lovely, I'm sure of it, but the real question is with who." And there he was, ready to say all the things I didn't want to hear.

"I'm just saying that maybe you should give her the benefit of the doubt." My dad interrupted once more.

That was a first, they usually agree on pretty much everything when it comes to my "school issues", but now Dad was almost trying to protect Quinn, she must really have done a good impression this morning.

"What are you talking about? She's been harassing our daughter for the past two years!" Now he was mad, and Daddy never gets mad unless it's really worth it. This wasn't good, things had just started to get better between me and Quinn and I wouldn't let him ruin it.

"Daddy you're overeacting." I knew it was the wrong sentence as soon as I said it.

"Oh, I'm overeacting? So maybe when you came back home last year covered in blue slushy crying your heart out and feeling so worthless that we had to spend the night comforting you, you were overeacting obviously." I didn't think it was fair to put that back on the table, it was during freshman year, and a lot had changed since then.

"Things have changed since then." I said, like it was the most obvious thing.

"What has changed Rachel? Don't you think we know why you're doing your own laundry almost every night, don't you think we hear you cry in your room. You think we're that clueless? Yes you're a very good actress, you can make everyone believe that you're okay, but we know Rachel."

I fell silent for a second, okay maybe my little stratagem hadn't worked as well as I thought it did, but still, things had been better lately, I'm not always pretending I'm happy, I actually am most of the time and they know that. But what he seemed to forget is that Quinn is only one person among many others that did this to me, and I felt the sudden urge to protect her.

"Quinn is not responsable for all of it okay." I finally said.

"Maybe, but right now we're talking about her." he replied. He was good at this, better than dad who always ends up searching for his words, which is funny since he's a writter.

"Well she has changed okay, now we're in glee club together, and I already told you, she's more than just a mean cheerleader. I think she's just scared." Exactly what I've been telling them for the past two years, but this time, I was sure of it.

"Scared of what?" My dad asked with a concern voice, he really did liked Quinn.

"I don't know yet, but last night she kinda opened up to me and maybe she will do it again." I said, with the hope that if they knew she was starting to trust me then maybe things would be alright.

"Or maybe she's just playing you." daddy simply said. Now I was irritated more than anything else, it's one thing when it's me putting Quinn's intentions in question but now that he was doing the exact same thing, it somehow felt like an intrusion.

"Why are you saying this_!_? You don't even know her!" I yelled. I didn't really know her either, but still, protecting her seemed to have become my first instinct.

He had stepped toward me and was now across the island, looking at me sincerely in the eyes while talking.

"No, but I know you. And I know that you tend to see the best in people, even when it's not there. I'm not saying she's not a good person, maybe you're right, maybe she's just lost and scared but still, you're my daughter and it's my job to protect you."

He was holding my hands, I knew he was right, if someone is nice to me once, then it's enough for me. And when this someone appears to be Quinn Fabray, the head bitch in charge, I automatically think she actually doesn't want to be mean. I tried believing otherwise, believing that she did want to be mean and enjoyed making my life a living hell, but thinking it hurts more than the actions themselves, because if she really hated me, then I would really feel worthless.

"We just want you to be careful honey." Dad finally said with a soft voice, something they both agreed on.

"I will, but I really do think she has changed." I said, trying to be as convincing as possible.

"Maybe you're right, she's been through a lot this past year and I do believe that people change everyday. Life throw things at you, sometimes you catch them, sometimes you take them right in the face, and sometimes you managed to avoid them, but no matter what, you always end up a little bit different. If you want to trust Quinn, then do it, but I think that in certain cases trust has to be earned, and sweetie this is one of them. So in other words, we just want you to be careful honey." Daddy said sweetly.

"Eh that's my line!" dad exclamed with a falsely outraged expression and the hand mimics that come with it. I couldn't help but smile, they could be such comedians sometimes.

"So what? We're married, everything that's yours is mine." he replied with a smirk.

"Oh really, so if I was to touch one of your precious hankerchiefs..." dad replied with a cocky expression. Daddy turned around immediatly to face him and point his finger.

"Don't you dare Leroy!" he said firmly, dad responded with a laugh before returning to the cooker.

"Yeah, so much for the sharing. Come on, I think we had enough serious talk for tonight, let's eat!" dad said with his usual dynamism.

That something I love about them, we can be talking about the most serious thing one minute and the next about food and hankerchiefs, it makes it easier not to think about the problems for a little while but they usually come right back after dinner.

I practiced a little before my bed time rituel and was now laying on my bed, unable to sleep, mostly because of the evening coffee and my little nap but also because I couldn't turn my mind off.

_Quinn._

All I think about, which was starting to scare me a little because if this kept going, I would probably act very weird the next time I see her, and we certainly don't want that. I was just so confused and what was killing me the most was that answers weren't that far, actually just one dial away. I had been staring at the phone in my hand for the past 15 minutes, getting it back was my "good recovery" present from my dads, but right now I wished they'd kept it. I didn't want to call her of course, that would be stupid and way to forward for Quinn's taste I do believe, but a text message could maybe work. All I wanted to know was how I was supposed to act on monday, and also how SHE was going to act, so I can prepare myself for it.

I was ready to type when a soft knock on the door interrupted me. My dad entered with my evening tea and a sweet smile on his face.

"Hey you." he said, giving me the mug and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Thanks." I said before sipping slowly on the hot beverage.

"You're alright sweety?" he asked. I wasn't really in the mood to talk, but he obviously wanted to.

"I'm fine dad. You guys need to stop worrying so much."

"Yeah we know. You're a big girl now." I really didn't feel like it but I knew it would come eventually.

"I'm not gonna do anything stupid alright, I've been raised by you after all." And I thank god everyday for that.

"That's exactly what terrifies me." he said with a little laugh.

"And that's exactly what reassures me." I replied sincerely.

"You're a good kid, I mean you have your "mood swings", but you're a good person. I didn't want to say anything earlier because your daddy isn't really fond of Quinn right now but, I'm proud of you for trying to see more to her, and people in general. Some will tell you it's a weakness but I think it's one of the best thing you have, hold on to it, because the world can a very difficult, sad and disappointing place sometimes, but having hope can really make it better, so never give up on it okay?"

I felt my tears coming up, I am not really used to have compliments on other things than my voice, I've always knowed through looks, kisses or sweet words that my dads were proud of me for everything else, but hearing it was always overwelming, especially because I know how amazingly kind and generous men my dads are. It's during moments like this that I feel the most worthy, they're the ones I never want to disappoint.

"Okay. Thanks dad, I love you." I hugged him tightly, wanting him to feel how much this meant to me.

"I love you too little star." he said and kissed me on the cheek, then stood up.

"Now I'm gonna go drive your father crazy my touching a few tissues." he said with a mischievous grin.

"Ouhh you like living dangerously don't you?" I teased.

"You know me, always ready for some action, and by the way I'm renting Indianna Jones tomorrow." he said, rehaussing his invisible hat and cracking his non existent whip.

_God no._

Renting Indianna Jones meant having to wear hats, dirty shirts and pieces of string to make a whip, just to be fully "immersed" like he says.

"Can't wait." I said without joy.

"Glad to see you're excited." he said with an ironic smile before walking towards the door.

"Hey dad?" I called.

"Yes?" he said, opening the door before looking back at me.

"Do you think one day I'll be able to do one those heartfelt speeches that you and daddy seem to be the masters of?" I asked with a smile.

"Well it comes with age, but I know for a fact that you're already pretty good at it." he was laughting but I knew he meant it.

"It's true that I have a certain talent." I said with fake pride, making him laugh a bit more.

"Good night sweetie." he said after a few last giggle.

"Night dad." I answered with a smile before he left the room, closing the door behind him.

I felt better than before, and definitely more confidant, just what I needed to pull up the courage to send that text. I took my phone, and started typing what would be my first real text message to Quinn Fabray.

_Here we go._


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

_**Quinn's POV**_

The rest of the day had been quite uneventful, I texted both Sam and Finn to informed them that I was home safe and that they both needed to stop smothering me everytime I don't call them back right away. My mom got back around 4 and I spend the afternoon watching tv while she was on the phone with clients. I kept thinking about Rachel and how things were supposed to be now, I didn't know what was the good attitude to have or the good thing to do, all I knew was that I wanted to keep talking to her, for some reason.

Santana had tried to call me a few times as well but I just didn't want to talk to her, she would know right away that I was hiding something and I didn't see myself telling her that I actually spend the night in Rachel Berry's company and that I had a good time on top of it, so I figured she could wait until Monday to insult me.

Even if Rachel was a distraction, my main problem was still there: Sam or Finn?

I have no idea why this is so hard, I mean I know that I don't want to hurt any of them but the real problem is that I just can't figure out which one I like the best anymore!

All this crap about following your heart and knowing deep down really doesn't work for me!

As a clue that I needed to make my decision, the door bell rang, and soon Sam was in the hallway kissing me.

"Hey beautiful!" he said sweetly, his hands still on my cheeks.

"Hey." I replied with a smile. It was easy with Sam, I wasn't faking it, I cared a lot about him but I didn't know if it was enough.

"I missed you." he said sincerely.

"We saw each other yesterday." My voice wasn't cold or anything, I just couldn't understand why he would miss me.

"Yeah I know, but with the storm and everything I got worried." I felt a pang of guilt, Sam didn't really crossed my mind during my time at school, I was too preocupied by Rachel.

_Something is seriously wrong with me._

"You really shouldn't have." I said, hoping the subject would naturally change, and thank god it did.

"Do you want to go out for dinner?" Just the idea of it made my stomach flip with stress, I already had so much trouble looking at him in the eyes, he would notice something for sure.

"Hum my mom just came back, she's-" I started before being interrupted.

"Sam! Hi sweetie!" my mom said before hugging him.

"Mrs Fabray." he said with a smile.

You would think that hearing my mom being called by her former last name wouldn't annoy me since it's mine as well, but it actually did. My father was something I was trying really hard to forget, and especially the way my mom followed him. Seeing her as a new person, with a new job, and new friends helped a lot, like somehow it never happened. I know it's not the best way to deal with it, but for now, it's the only one I found.

"It's Ms Hansen now." I simply said.

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to-" he quickly said to her. Another proof that he didn't really know me, otherwise he would have knowed that hearing it was harder for me, not for her. She actually didn't care much about it, didn't even realise it, then again, it's the way people called her for most of her life.

I couldn't blame Sam for not knowing me, it's my own fault, I never let him.

"Don't worry about it, anyway I told you, you can call me Judy." she said with a wave of the hand. She didn't know me either, and that wasn't entirely my fault, or hers for that matters. "How's your family? Did you get pass the storm all right?" she asked in a sweet and worried voice.

"Oh yeah, we're fine, the house got a bit roughed up but my dad is fixing the roof right now." he replied.

Guilt again, for not asking about his family which I actually adore, they're great people.

"He does it himself? Isn't that dangerous?" she asked with the tone of surprise.

"Oh no, he's fine up there." he answered with a laugh.

"You're joining us for dinner right?" she asked, already leading him by the arm.

"Mom-" I tried, dinner outside or here was the same, except that my mom could be a distraction, I just didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing.

"Yes, I'd love to." he said with a smile.

_Of course he would._

"This is a nightmare." I whispered to myself before following them.

We spend half of dinner talking about the storm, and I had to relate my whole night at school. Sam was more than surprised that I had been able not to kill Rachel and was genuinely amused by the situation.

I don't know why, but the moment my mom mentioned that Rachel had been with me, I felt nervous, like it had been some huge secret that could've ruined everything. But this was Sam, sweet and caring Sam, not judgmental and vicious Santana, and I knew it, so why on earth was I feeling this way? Am I that ashamed of her?

Just as the thoughts were forming in my mind, my phone rang, interrupting the conversation my mom and Sam were having which obviously I wasn't paying attention to.

"Why did I say about phones at the table Quinn?" my mom said with a repremanding look.

It was Finn calling, I hoped my face hadn't betray anything.

"I'm sorry mom...hum I gotta take this, it's Santana, and you know how she can be when I don't pick up." My mom had told me a few times that Santana was scaring her a bit, even if Santana had always acted "nice" around her.

"Fine, but no more than five minutes, we have a guest." she said, smiling at Sam.

_Like I could forget!_

I gave him an apologizing look, he smiled and mouthed "it's okay". He was really a sweet guy.

I went directly to the kitchen and picked up.

"Hey" I said, barely above a whisper.

"Hey you, you're okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine, you just interrupted dinner with my mom." I left out the Sam part, there was no point in telling him.

"Oh I'm sorry, do you want me to call you later?"

_Hell no._

"No it's fine, we have a few minutes."

"I just wanted to check in and say sorry for the 7 calls, I just miss you." Here's the problem, Finn is also a very sweet guy.

"Yeah, that was maybe a bit much." I said. I felt less guiltier than with Sam, it's probably because he's not the one being cheated on.

"Do you wannna go out tomorrow?" he asked. Going out with Finn was even more stressful, we could get caught at any moment, by anyone.

"I don't know, I have church in the morning and then my mom's around." I'm not really good at finding excuses.

"Just a couple of hours, I promess it'll be romantic." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Finn, I'm still dating Sam." I whispered, even though there was no way Sam or my mom could'vd heard me as they were having a dynamic conversation in the other room on football and college.

"I know, but not for long, because at some point you just won't be able to resist me."

It's that side of Finn that I fell for when we met, the confident quaterback, it felt like we were meant to be back then. I didn't expect to get back with him, not after everything that happened, that's what's easier with Finn, he knows what I'm capable of. I'm always scared I'm going to disappoint Sam, which is exactly what I'm going to end up doing, he deserves better.

"Fine, we'll…arrange something tomorrow." I finally said, knowing that he wasn't going to let go of it anyway.

"Can't wait." he said merrily.

"I should get going." I need to get back to my other boyfriend.

_I'm such a jerk._

"Okay, see you soon."

"Bye."

I hung up and let out an heavy sigh before trying to compose myself. I hated this whole situation, but ending it meant hurting someone. I don't know exactly when I became this screwed up.

I went back to the table, telling a few more lies about my conversation with a pissed off Santana, and soon we finished dinner, and Sam was ready to kiss me goodnight in the hallway.

"Do you want to do something tomorrow?" he asked, holding me by the hips.

"Actually I'm a bit tired, I think I'm gonna rest. But we can do something Monday after school if you want." I just needed a little more time to make my decision.

"Sure, I'll make it special." Sam always make it special, he's a true romantic, and I love that about him.

"Bye." he said before kissing me softly.

"Bye." I replied, opening the door for him.

I leaned back on the front door once it was closed, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, but wasn't an exited "I'm so in love" pounding, it was a "thank god I didn't blew it." one.

I helped my mom clean up and then went up to my room and lay down my bed, I was at the edge of a break down and knew that I was definitely not going to get any sleep tonight.

I was trying to relax when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, making me whimper in the anticipation of a text from any of the two boys as well as one from my "best friend".

I put it out and was surprised to find out that this new message was actually from Rachel. I only had her number because she practically harassed everyone in glee club to take it in case of emergency regarding our voices, our stage constumes, our performances or any other little things related to the glee club. I never thought I would have to use it for something else, and I found myself being nervous to open it, but just put aside the feeling.

**9:32 pm : Hi Quinn, this is Rachel Berry. I just wanted to make sure that your mother got home alright and that you were both spending a nice week-end. I also have a few questions regarding our recent interaction, don't worry it's nothing serious, I just don't want to do anything that could make you feel uncomfortable or get you upset. I hope I didn't bother you and that you will be able to answer soon. Goodnight.**

_What the fuck is that? Questions? What_ _Questions_!_?_

I had to think of an answer but nothing came, I hate text messages, you can never tell exactly how the message is supposed to be received, Is she mad ? Is she happy? Is she just confused? Is she hoping for something? There are so many possibilities and no way to find out which one is intended, and right now, it seriously sucked, because when I talk to Rachel in person it's already really hard to react the right way, but now without her face to help me, I had just no idea what I was supposed to say.

_Think Fabray, think._


	14. Chapter 14

**_Hey guys! Just wanted to say thanks for the reviews, I hope I'll keep getting some! :) _**

**_Much more Faberry action in this chapter, I think it's my favorite one so far, I'm taking things slowly because I don't think Quinn and Rachel can fall madly in love, like I intend to, without dealing with some of their issues and getting to know each other better first, but don't worry, characters that are as meant to be as they are always find a way ;)_**

**_Enjoy! _**

Chapter 14

**_Rachel's POV_**

I had been exactly 22 minutes since I had send my text and still no answer. Panicking, that's what I was doing right now, my mind was racing with all the reactions Quinn might have had when she received it. Maybe it was too soon, maybe now she thinks I'm some kind of stalker, when all I wanted was to make things more comfortable between us.

_Maybe she doesn't want to make them comfortable._

Then it hit me, I had completely misinterpreted the whole thing, she didn't want to be my friend, she didn't want to talk to me, I pushed her to do it and there I was, pushing it again.

_Stupid, stupid, stup-_

My mental cursing was interrupted by a tapping noice at my window. The image of a squirrel attack somehow popped into my mind, I really needed to stop watching the documentary channel. I got up from the bed, not without difficulty, since I had the genius idea to put my crutches by the door, and hopped to see who was vandalizing my house.

I had to shook my head a few times, not believing what I was seeing, I even wondered for a second if my dad hadn't put something in my tea, but no, there, outside my house, under my window, was standing a flawless Quinn Fabray.

I stared at her for a few seconds through my still closed window, this looked so much like a dream and was far too unexpected for me to think it was in fact reality. She was staring back, not her usual stare, it was unsure and shy, the kind I never thought would be addressed to me. I came out of my daze, opened the window and leaned out.

"Hey." she simply said, like her being there was a common thing.

"Hey. Wh-What are you doing here?"

"You said you wanted to talk." I wasn't prepared for this, and suddently talking seemed like the worst thing to do.

"Well yeah but...I didn't think you would...you know...a text would've been enough."

_Way enough!_

"I don't like text messages." Again, this looked perfectly normal to her.

"Oh. So instead you come to people's house in the middle of the night?" I asked, wondering if she actually did, because there was no way she would only do that for me.

"Oh please, it's barely half past nine. Did I wake you?"

_No, because I was to busy thinking about you, about us._

"Hum…no but I...I really didn't expect this." I answered, still unsure where this was going.

"Yeah well neither did I, but here I am, so are we gonna stay like that all night or are we gonna have at least the conversation on the same floor?"

"Oh sorry, give me five minutes, I'll meet you in the back yard, there's a path on your left, a little barrier." I pointed the direction to her.

"Okay." she said before going.

I quickly closed the window and stood there for a minute, just so I could compose myself a bit.

"Oh God. Breathe Rachel, breathe, it's just Quinn. "

_Yeah right, just Quinn, she's gonna eat you alive._

"No she won't, you can do this." I told myself before taking a deep breath and looking at myself in the mirror across the room, that's when I realised I was wearing bright pink pyjamas with little shooting stars on them. "Clothes. I need clothes." I hopped on one feet to my drawer to put out some jeans but quickly realised that it was going to take me at least 15 minutes to put them on with my sprain ankle and I didn't want to take the risk of Quinn leaving, so I just quickly put on a black hoodie and a left converse.

Coming down the stairs with my crunches was already really hard, but coming down the stairs with my crunches while trying not to be heard by my dads was just mission impossible, but thank god, they were watching tv rather loudly in their room.

It wasn't dark outside, it wasn't completely light either, the sun was setting, the sky was a mix of orange and pink, and the sight of Quinn sitting on a swing looking up at it was mesmerizing.

Quinn was truly the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, but in moment like this, the word "beautiful" seemed insignificant.

With one last breath I stepped outside, not sure what to expect but excited to find out. She looked away from the sky, her perfect hazel eyes landing on me and she smiled, I stopped breathing for a second.

"Nice pants. So, how bad is it?" she asked, pointing to my right ankle. I didn't react right away, still completely lost in her.

"Oh hum, just a minor sprain, I have to keep the brace for a couple of weeks, maybe a little bit more." I finally replied before sitting in the swing next to her.

"Questions, you said you had questions." She sure wanted to get right into it, I wouldn't mind usually, but here, I was afraid to say the wrong thing.

"Yeah, but I don't have actual formed questions." I tried to divert, because there was no way she would answered without thinking I'm a total freak, I mean, ever more than she already does.

"Of course you do." she said with certainty.

_Am I this predictable? _

_Of course I am._

"Well yes but there not the kind you can just ask to someone, especially someone like you...not that there's a problem with you or anything I ju-"

"Rachel," she interrupted me.

"What?"

"Just ask." This would maybe be my only chance, I should've told myself to be calm, direct, maybe even casual about it, but I didn't, and before I could stop it, the flood of words was coming out.

"Are we...hum, how to put this...what are we... I mean because you and I have quite an history and I've always wanted to get to know you, like really know you, but there was always so many things between us, well actually just Finn and social status...but anyway, you've been in glee club for a while now and you had a baby and people were mean to you and you kinda understood what it felt like to be me, so then you just started ignoring me instead of throwing insults at me, which is a big improvement, I can't deny it, but then we got stuck at school and we...talked and now I just wanted to know if our relationship was maybe changing from well, practically non-existent to maybe us becoming kinda friends." I was almost panting, and the look that Quinn was giving me, which is the one you give to a crazy person, wasn't about to calm me down.

"You do realise you use a lot of words for saying very little, right?" she asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah I've been told." I sure have.

"Look, I don't know what we are right now, I mean, we're not enemies, but we're not friends," the deception must have been pretty obvious on my face. "yet." she finally said.

Three letters, one syllable, one word that changes everything. I couldn't help but smile brightly at her, she returned it with a shy one, and then I asked the question that had been haunting me for the past 24 hours.

"So, you do wanna be my friend?"

"I guess, but I don't know if we're supposed to make such a big deal out of it though, I'm not such a great friend." she said, looking up again. She really believed that, but I didn't.

"That's for me to judge." I simply said, she looked back at me and nodded slightly.

"Okay, now that this is settle, we need to figure out how we're gonna do this, because Santana is gonna be pretty pissed on Monday, and don't want her to use you against me, I don't want to start off like that." Was she actually saying this to me? This was too good to be true, everything had changed in such a short time, I was afraid she was going to wake up at some point, realise it and start running, or in her case, pushing away. We needed to take things slowly, and start with the basics.

"Well, maybe we could start simple, like hum...you could actually say "Hi" to me in the morning."

"Don't I do that?" she asked. I thought she was joking for a second, but she wasn't.

"No you don't, I say hello to you and you stare at me, not in a very pleasant way, and then you just leave."

"Sorry, I don't realise it, if you knew how many stares I give a day." she said, and let out a small sigh.

"That must be tiring." Especially when you don't really want to do it.

"You have no idea." she said with a small voice.

She was somewhere else now, thinking, I could see it in her eyes, what I like to call her quiet sadness, and she looked magnificent.

That's the thing, I hate seeing her like that, but at the same time, it's my favorite vision of her.

"So, how are we doing this?" I asked, breaking my stare.

"We need a plan or something." she said with a clear voice, she was back.

"Or maybe we don't. I mean, my therapist always says that I plan to much and that at some point I'm going to be disappointed for not getting exactly what I want, so maybe we should just let it happen."

I couldn't believe what I just said, "let it happen", I never let anything happen, it's just not the way I see life, if you have a goal or a dream, you work for it, you put your entire self into it because things need to be deserved, you just don't wake up one day and have everything you want. So why on earth would I suggest it? Simple, I had no idea how to keep Quinn's friendship, or perspective of one. Even if I wanted to make a plan, I don't think I'd find one.

"That's sound tempting, but very risky, I mean I'm not saying that you and I aren't capable of being friends, but we're very different Rachel, and I'm certain that your definition of a friend isn't exactly the same as mine." That's a high probability, but the fact that she's willing to try anyway made her already a great friend to my eyes, we just needed to find a way to stay on the same page.

"Yeah well, we can have rules or something. For example, how do you feel about hugs?" I asked, her face answered for her. "Okay...you're not an hugging person so I won't hug you all the time."

_Wait, what did I just say?_

"I mean not that I woud but..." I quickly added. My words were followed by a small awkward silence that really needed to be filled. "So you see we can make like, informations cards with what we can and cannot do." I finally said without really thinking about it.

"That's not exactly what I would call "let it happen". " she said with a smile.

"I guess not." I said, a little embarassed.

"Look, we'll just figure it out as we go okay?" her voice was casual, and it suddently seemed like the best idea.

"Okay!" I said with enthusiasm, smiling at her.

Then it happened, our eyes locked, and it felt like she was piercing through my soul. My smile slowly fell, her gaze was so intense, it was eating me alive, apparently she was indeed capable of it. I knew what the next step could've been, and even with the thousands reasons why I shouldn't do it, I just wanted to, but before I could go further, she broke the connection.

"I gotta go." she said, getting up.

"Oh sure." I managed to say before picking up my crutches and put myself back on one foot.

"Are you gonna be alright going back upstairs with those?" she asked, hitting lightly my left crutches with the tip of her shoe.

"Yeah I just need to practice a bit." I was pretty sure I was going to fall.

"Okay. See you on Monday." This couldn't be it, not after what just happened, I wanted more, but I didn't know if I could really ask for it.

_Don't be a coward, just ask her._

"Can I like...hum maybe...hug you? Or is that too soon? Or will it be always too soon?" I asked with an unsecure tone.

"No it's fine." she replied with a chuckle before stepping closer to me.

This must have probably looked like the most uncomfortable hug in the world from the outside, I was on one foot, trying to keep my balance, my crutches crossed horizontally behind Quinn, but to me, it felt kind of perfect, our bodies, fitted perfectly. I closed my eyes so I could really feel her, that's what hugs are for, showing to someone you care about them, just like a stare, a hug can mean so much more than words.

I was the first one to pull away, I didn't want her to think I was needy, even if I am, it was too much too soon.

She smiled at me and started leaving, but I stopped her halfway through the yard.

"Wait! Quinn?" I called, and she turned around.

"What?"

"If I was to text you again, would you...?" I asked and looked around as to point out the situation.

"Oh no, I won't appear at your window everytime. I'm sorry by the way, I just didn't feel like texting for an hour without really knowing what you meant, this was just a faster way." she answered, once more in her casual way.

"Yeah don't worry about it, it's fine." It really was.

"Okay." she said before starting to walk again.

"So if I call you, would that be...you know because I don't want to rush anything but at the same time we kinda need to start somewhere so I just figu-"

"Rachel!" she interupted me after turning around once more.

"What?"

"Just let it happen."

"Just let it happen." I repeated.

"Just let it happen." she said with a nod.

"Yeah, I can do that." I said in an "not so sure I can do that" way.

"I'm sure you can." she said with a smile.

"Totally." I added, trying to reassure myself.

"Okay, I'm gonna go now. Bye." And with one last wave of the hand, she was leaving.

"Bye." I finally said, by that time she was already passing the little wood barrier, and then disappeared.

I let out an heavy sigh and sat back on the swing, there was no point in going back to my room just now, I had some serious thinking to do and sleep would be scared away. So I just sat there, watching the sunset, taking in what had just happened, playing the entire conversation in my head, the words, the gestures, the looks, and tried to make sense of it all.


	15. Chapter 15

**_Hi guys, I'm really sorry for the lack of updates but things have been a little crazy with my exams and other personnal issues. I'm going to have a lot more time now to get back to this story, and will update definitely more often._**

**_This is a short chapter to introduce bigger ones to come!  
_**

**_Enjoy :) _**

Chapter 15

_**Quinn's POV**_

6:54 am, in 6 minutes I'll have to get up. In 6 minutes, it will be officially Monday, which I expect to be the most stressful day I will ever have to go through. I decided yesterday that it was time for me to get my shit together and make decisions.

So many things could happen today because of 4 people, 4 people that are going to want something from me.

Sam, my faithful and sweet boyfriend who is going to want more affection and more love promises.

Finn, my former boyfriend and maybe future one if I get to reach a decision today which I promised myself I will, who is going to want to sneek around.

Santana, my "best friend" who is going to want my head on a spike because I haven't called her back or even open the door when she came by last night.

And finally, Rachel. I actually have no idea what she wants except for me to be more friendly, but I'm not so sure "let it happen" is really gonna happen anymore.

6:55 am, 5 minutes now, maybe I should call it a day and pretend to be sick, my mom would believe me just fine, but it would only push back the nightmare to tomorrow.

I take my phone on the night stand and look through it to keep me from counting the seconds until my alarm goes off. I read the last messages I received, it was from Rachel, she send it last night and I can't help but smile a little.

_**8:53 pm : Hey Quinn, sorry to bother you, I just wanted to text and see if you would magically appear at my window ;)**_

**Told you, I only use my special powers for heavy talks :)**

_**So you do text back otherwise?**_

**If I'm in the mood...**

_**Are you in the mood right now?**_

**It depends, do you use as many words in your texts as you use for talking?**

_**If I'm in the mood... ;) I just wanted to know how your day went.**_

_Horribly._

**Fine, the usual Sunday resting. What about you?**

_**Well, my dad rented a movie I hate and forced me to dress up in ugly and dirty clothes, my ankle is killing me, and the medicine to stop the pain makes me sleep so I can't do anything productive with my time when I absolutely need to rehearse to be ready for regionals. Otherwise, today was good...**_

**I guess you are in the mood. lol**

_**Sorry :/ I'm still new to the texting thing...**_

**Don't worry it'll come with time.**

_**Though I'd like to tell you that I'm very pleased with the fact that you write full words and sentences as well as ponctuation, not like Mercedes for which I need to decrypt every words...**_

**I don't like waisting words.**

_**Nodded :) I'll stop bothering you now. I'll see you tomorrow at school :)**_

**Don't worry, you're not bothering me, and yes you will see me tomorrow and I will say "Hi" like promised :) Good nigh Rachel.**

_**Sweet dreams :)**_

I would be lying if I said I wasn't surprise to find out that maybe Rachel wasn't as annoying as I thought, then again we didn't spend that much time together. Saturday night wasn't planned at all, just thinking about it I wonder how on earth I came up with the idea to go to her house. It's not something I usually do, hell it's something I never did before, but I kept telling myself that it was just the simplest way to clear things up, but in reality, I feel like it made them even more complicated and confusing.

There was a moment that night, a moment I can't quite describe except by saying that we somehow connected. To be honest it scares me, I don't know what it was, but it was something strong, like a force pulling me into her, I keep seeing her brown eyes as soon as I close mine, like a invisible imprit in my mind.

I think back to our conversation, I promised to try and be her friend and I find myself being nervous about it. How can you build a friendship with what we have? How can you go past something so violent and unforgetable? How can Rachel forgive me when I know I will never be able to forgive myself?

So many questions that I wanted to ask her that night, but found myself unable to because I coudn't let go of her eyes.

_Stupid beautiful and expressive eyes!_

_Wait , What?_

_I meant, stupid expressive eyes!_

Just as I start cursing myself for not being able to think properly, my alarm goes off with an unbearable beeping. I look at it for a few seconds, just wanting for it to stop and go back in time, but instead the annoying noice grow louder making sure to erase any hope to go back to sleep as well as any hope to escape this day.

After a quick shower to calm my nerves and an uneaten breakfast with my mom, she drives me to school. Sam proposed to take me, and even Finn, but I made up the excuse that my mom wanted some quality time with me. My mom didn't think twice about taking me, and I'm thankful for that because I really don't feel like talking to anyone else, she keeps the conversation casual and reminds me before I get out of the car, that she won't be able to pick me up after school, leaving me to find a ride which might be difficult at the end of this day.

I take once last breath, trying to dissipate the knot in my stomach, before entering the school, and once I'm in it, it feels like an horror movie trap. It's the scene when the poor innocent girl whose friends are already all dead is now facing the murderer, except here it's not one, but three murderers.

Santana is standing by her locker, she was talking to Brittany until she noticed me enter, and is now giving me a death glare, ready to jump at my throat. Standing a bit further in the corridor, is Sam, giving me a full smile and looking at me with tenderness, and just a few lockers behind him, Finn, with a smirk on his face and winking at me.

My eyes kept going between the three of them while my brain was trying to find a way to escape this nightmare. Finally after what seemed to be 10 painful minutes, when in reality it was only seconds, I take a big breath and practically run to the girls restroom, like a coward, closing the door behind me and resting my forehead on it.

"What the fuck am I doing?" I whispered to myself.

"Quinn?"

I jumped at my name and turned around to the familiar voice.

"God Rachel you need to stop scaring me like that." I said to her with one hand on my chest.

"Sorry. Are you okay? You look a little pale."

"Yeah I'm fine. What are you doing here?" I asked without really thinking, still a little overwhelmed by the last 30 seconds.

"Umm well it's the restroom so I was just washing my hands..." she answered, not certain if she was saying the right thing.

"Oh yeah right, sorry I'm a little out of it today."

"You sure you're alright?" she asked, and before I could answer she had already her hand on my forehead, gauging my temperature and looking worried. I removed her hand gently, making sure she didn't take it as a rejection.

"I'm fine Rachel, I promise."

"Oh okay." she said with in a nervous tone before stepping away from me, probably thinking she had crossed a line.

We felt into a awkward silent, looking everywhere but at each other. The truth is, I had no idea how to act around Rachel, this was so new and frankly a little bit weird. I usually don't have problem talking to people, I don't particulary like it, but still, I am able to hold a normal conversation with someone, even if I bearly know them, without any awkward silence and without embarassing myself, but apparently that skill seemed to have completely disappeared at 7:58 am, on a Monday, in the girls restroom of McKinley High School. Even more disturbing was the fact that Rachel didn't seem to be able to talk either.

_Her rambling is never there when needed._

We somehow caugh each others eyes, and I fell back into her percing stare, and just like Saturday night, I felt like I was never going to be able to let go of it.

Rachel was about to say something when suddently the bell rang, announcing the next chapter of this already awful day, and breaking the eye contact between us.

"We should hurry, don't want to be late." she quickly said, grabbing her bag.

"Yeah." I replied just as quickly, not wanting to make the situation more awkward that it already was.

I was about to open the door when I remembered the reason why I was there in the first place, the knot in my stomach was still painfully there and I felt the sudden need to runaway to a foreign country and never come back.

I was put out of my thoughts by Rachel's voice.

"Quinn? Are you gonna open door?"

_Good question._

I looked up behind me and was met by a worried and yet somehow smiling face.

"Yeah." I simply said in a breath before opening the door.

There were only a few people left in the corridors, all the others already in class. I stepped out, looking everywhere if any of the faces I was avoiding were there and thankfully they weren't.

"Are you coming?"

Rachel was already a few step ahead of me, we were in the same class during first period, which made me feel relieved, maybe she will be able to make me think about something else than the terrible fate that awaits for me, knowing that Santana is also in the same class.


	16. Chapter 16

**_Hey guys! So new chapter a little it more focused on the Quinn/Santana relationship that I just find quite fascinating. There will be more Faberry action in the next one, which I will probably post sometime next week._**

**_Thank you again for the reviews, they're very sweet :)_**

**_Enjoy!  
_**

Chapter 16

_**Rachel's POV**_

Going to class with Quinn Fabray by my side is definitely something new, we don't really have time to talk because we're already late but still, when I enter the room I feel less invisible than usual. First I thought it was because of this awful brace and crunches I was carying around but then I realised that Quinn is someone who attracts the eyes and automaticaly when you're standing close to her, some of them land on you.

There was only one particular set of eyes that I absolutely didn't want to see directed at me the way they were at that moment, Santana's.

_If looks could kill._

I went to my usual seat in the third row, not to close so I don't look like the teacher's puppy and expose myself to all the disgusting wet paper balls being thrown, and not to far so I can still focus and be able to answer a question if needed.

I was about to put out my books when I noticed that Quinn was actually sitting next to me, I stopped myself for a second and looked around to see the other students already whispering to each other. Let just say that Quinn Fabray sitting next to Rachel Berry is as probable as Brittany S Pierce having the right answer.

She didn't seemed to be phased by it and was just getting her books out like everything was completely normal when it clearly wasn't.

After one last look over Santana who was apparently about to explode, I leaned slightly over to Quinn.

"What are you doing?" I whispered to her, not wanting to embarrass myself in front of the whole class.

"Opening my books." she simply said without looking up from the table.

"No, I mean...Why are sitting next to me?"

She looked up to me, and I could see she was surprised by the expression I was giving her which was probably a mix between fear, confusion and hope.

"You don't want me to?" she asked with hesitance.

"No, no it's fine...it's just, don't you think Santana is gonna be pissed?"

_Or don't you think that maybe this is social suicide and will sure be reward with an ice cold slushy?_

"I don't care about Santana." Her tone was firm and final.

I had no idea what was happening and I had to fight the thought that this was just a big prank, that she was going to make a cruel joke in a few minutes, making me endure the laughters and mean words thrown at me by the rest of the class. I felt the panic slowy build in my stomach and my palms gettting sweaty, suddently breathing became a difficult task. I closed my eyes, trying to stop the crisis I was about to have.

_Stop it! She wants to be your friend, she told you so. Just calm down and breathe._

My eyes flew back open when I felt a soft touch on my forearm. I looked up and was met by beautiful and worried hazel eyes.

"It's okay." she whispered before giving me a small smile.

As if she was able to read my mind, she knew I needed reassurance, that everything was fine and nothing was about to happen to me. I felt bad for even thinking about it, but who could blame me, I still can't believe that the last 3 days happened and that I'm in the process of building a friendship with Quinn.

She slowly removed her hand and I missed the contact instantly. Her eyes were still locked on mine but the connection was broken by Mrs Hagberg beginning english class.

"Alright children, Wuthering Heights. And today's theme, the love triangle between Cathy, Heathcliff and Edgar."

I felt Quinn chuckle next to me and mutter to herself "Of course"

"So, any thoughts to start?"

Complete silence of course, and only one raised hand, Brittany's.

"Brittany." Mrs Hagberg said with a sigh, already expecting the unexpected.

"Isoscelas." was Brittany's answer, like it was the most obvious thing.

"You mean isosceles." Mrs Hagberg corrected her.

"No isoscelas, an isoscelas triangle." Brittany repeated.

"Britt, we're in english not maths." Santana whispered to her, the way she often does when Brittany gets confused.

I never quite understood how can Santana be such a bitch to everyone except Brittany. I mean obviously everyone knows why, but I just don't get how she's able to switch between the two in barely a second. Just like Quinn, they are only short moments when you can see behind the mask, and only a very few people get a glimpse at it.

I felt actually proud that Quinn let me in, even if it's only a little. I know I shouldn't look for her approval or even for her to acknowledge me after everything she put me through, but still, I can't help it. Being Quinn's friend has been one of the thing I promise myself to achieve before high school ends. It's not about popularity or about challenging myself, I just want to understand, I need to understand, why me? There must be a reason out there, other than you need a smaller to have a bigger. There must be something more to that connection, because it's too powerful to be simply about school hierachy, at least that's what I hope.

I was put out of my thoughts by Brittany's second answer.

"Oh then it's equeer triangle." A few student laughed while others were just trying to figure out how she came up with this stuff. I though she probably meant equilateral, but there's really no way to be sure with her.

Mrs Hagberg didn't even try to correct her and was just waiting for the laughters to calm down.

"Santana." Everyone including me turned towards her, Santana was really not the type to participate in class, she just sit through it, chat with other girls and throw paper balls from time to time, but still managed to have decent grades in every class.

"I think Cathy was a skank, she can't choose between the two so instead she leads them on, expecting everyone to be okay with it and that she won't have to deal with the consequences. A real bitch I'm telling you."

Her answer was accompagnied with cheers from students. Santana had kept her eyes on Quinn the whole time, pratically spitting the words at her. Quinn just looked pissed and ready to snap at any moment.

I didn't want to read too much in Santana's little speech, because I know I would make hasty conclusions when it could mean something completely different. I don't want to take that risk, not now that Quinn and I are on good terms.

Santana didn't say anything more after that, and I slowly felt Quinn's anger change into something else. I don't know exactly what, but she almost looked sad, even a little bit lost. It hurt me to see her like that, even more now that she's paying attention to me.

I tore a little piece of paper and wrote "Are you okay?" on it. I know she wasn't going to tell me the truth and it's okay, I just wanted her to know that I was there for her.

She replied with a small smile and gave me a slight nod. She didn't look fine at all, but I didn't push it and smiled back.

_**Quinn's POV**_

After Santana's crappy attempt to insult me and Rachel's note, the rest of the class was uneventfull. I kept trying to figure out how I was going to get out of this mess, I still had to choose between the two boys and Santana was going to try her best to make my life a living hell in the meantime. I'm used to her being a bitch but it still hurts when she does stuff like that when she's supposed to be my friend. Santana and I definitely don't share a normal friendship, we're too similar, too caugh up in our own minds and own fears to really pay attention to others. She's scared to be herself, and I'm scared of myself, we often say that we're "two screwed up on the top", but where we're different, is that Santana always had Brittany by her side whereas I never found someone to completely open myself to.

I looked at the small piece of paper on the table, words written carefully, I could almost feel the worry in Rachel's handwriting.

I really didn't think twice before sitting next to her, it felt almost natural and when she asked me what I was doing, I couldn't help but think that maybe it was me who had crossed a line this time. Then she asked about Santana, if she was the only reason then I was certainly not going to move a bit. Thinking about it I realised that Santana wasn't the only reason, I felt Rachel tense next to me, she looked suddently nervous and the unreality of the situation appeared to me. She was scared, scared that this was just a cruel game, that I was leading her on, waiting for the right moment to attack. I felt a lot in those few seconds, guilt of course, anger toward myself, sadness, and a surprising need to protect her, to tell her that everything will be alright, when really I had no idea it would. I had learn that Rachel was more receptive to a touch than a word, so I knew what I had left to do.

When the bell rang after what seemed to be the most boring hour ever, everyone was quickly out of the room. I didn't hurry, first because there were a big chance that Santana was waiting for me outside, and also because Rachel was definitely not used to her crunches yet as it took her almost 5 mins to be up on her foot. I just didn't feel like leaving her behind.

I found this new behavior of mine incredibly disturbing, this is not how I had planned to act around Rachel. Sure I told myself to be nice to her, but walking with her to class, sitting next to her and exchanging notes? That was definitely not planned! I just couldn't help it. I do things without thinking, but for the first time, I'm not controled by my anger, though I had no idea what was controlling me instead.

"You don't have to wait for me you know" Rachel's voice was shy.

She was right, this seemed a little bit too much too soon.

"Yeah I know I just...wanted to make sure that you were back on you're feet…foot." I said, like a dork.

"Well that's very nice of you." She was smiling at me and I could feel the connection between us slowly emerging.

"Okay, I'll see you later." I quickly said before leaving the room, escaping another awkward moment.

As soon as my feet passed the door frame, I was violently pull by my shirt and shoved in an empty classroom. It's then a very,very pissed off latina who closed the door.

_Okay, maybe the awkward eye contact with Berry wasn't such a bad option after all. _

"Okay blondie, I don't know what the hell is going on with you but I'm starting to get fucking tired of it! Why do you keep blowing me off and why on earth are you hangin' out with man hands_!_?"

For the first time since the insult was invented, by me of course, I heard it differently. I don't know how many times I threw it at Rachel, how many times I was happy to, but now I could only see the stupidity of it. My hands are certainly more manly than Rachel's for all I know. And just like earlier, out of nowhere, without any idea why, I felt the need to protect her.

"Don't call her that." I simply said.

"Why the hell not_!_?"

_Yeah that's right, why the hell not Quinn__!_?

I had no good answer to that question, I just needed for all of this to stop.

"Just don't okay. And if I'm not talking to you it's for good reasons."

My tone was cold, Santana doesn't scare me, she never has, I know her too well.

"What reasons_!_?" I didn't answer, she would sure be able to figure out herself.

"Oh please, is it still about that mono thing_!_? I apologized for that!"

_Unebelievable!_

"No you didn't! You even said that I deserved it!" Now I was really pissed.

"Well, you kinda did." she said with a shrug. That girl can be so infuriading.

"Oh my god Santana! You're supposed to be my friend, not stab me in the back everytime you feel like it!"

"Because you were my friend when the midget basically said I was a whore!"

"Oh come on you asked for it! You keep insulting everyone and expect them to be just fine with it!'

"What can I say, I learned from the best." She said with a smirk, crossing her arms on her chest and slowly coming towards me.

"Don't you dare put this on me, you were this way a long time before we met, and if there's anything I learned it from you." I replied coldly, making her back off.

We fell in silence, processing what had been said. I felt exhausted already, and it was only 9:00 am, I didn't feel like fighting anymore.

"Aren't you just tired of it? Because god knows I am." I finally said, barely louder than a whisper.

She didn't say anything, so I kept saying what I desperately needed to say.

"We're not kids anymore Santana, things we say have consequences. I know what's done is done but...I'm just tired...tired of pretending to be something I'm not, tired of pretending that everything is alright when everything is wrong. I know you feel the same, I can tell, we work the same way."

For a second I thought she was going to agree and put the weapons down, but when she looked back at me with confidence in her eyes, I knew I was wrong.

"You're right, you and I have a lot in common and I know you very well Quinn. We've been ruling this school since freshman year, and I'm not about to give up on that. Maybe right now you think you can let go of it, but we both know you'll come back crawling. We're not doing this for fun Quinn, yeah I admit that I ended up finding a certain pleasure in it, but we're doing it because it's necessary. It's all we've got."

A wave of sadness came crashing on me. She was right, and I hated her, this high school, this life, and most of all myself, for it.

Even in the situation we were in, I couldn't help but try to find something to hold on to, a reason that says "you're wrong, we have something more" I never found one for myself, but there was one who was always there for her.

"It's not all you got, you have Brittany." I said softly, just thinking about the sweet blonde I wanted to believe that we were capable of being better people.

"No I don't, Artie has her." she simply answered, the pain in her voice hidden behind bitterness.

"That's because you're too scared to take a chance." I knew she couldn't take that chance without facing a lot of her fears, but still, knowing how meant to be her and Britt are, I wondered how she could stand it.

"What about you? Not being able to choose between Sam and Finn when we both know you don't give a rat about them. You're not in love with them, you just need them."

Once again she's probably right, actually I know she's right, but I somehow want to hold on to the hope that I'm not the cold hearted bitch that I appear to be.

"Two screwed up on the top." she finally said with a chuckle.

I wanted to scream. I wanted for all of this to be over, I thought it would once I was out of the cheerios, but it's only getting worse because the protection isn't there anymore, it's just us, and the fear that this is all there is to it, the fear that being on top is the only way we're ever gonna exist.

"I'm not doing this anymore." I finally said before leaving the room, I just couldn't stand thinking about it for another second.

"That's right, runaway again!" she yelled at my back.

"I'm telling you, this isn't over Fabray!"

And just like a full stop to her sentence, as soon as I was in the corridor, an blue ice cold slushie came crashing into my face.

_Still six hours to go. _


	17. Chapter 17

**_Hi guys! A little Faberry scene for this chapter, Quinn's day is far from being over so let just say this was the calm before the storm, the next chapters are not gonna be funny ones, but I promise I'll make up for it right after so please hang in there! Don't hesitate to tell me what you think :) _**

**_Here are the links to the songs mentionned:  
_**

**_All I Ask For You - Barbra Streisand (Original from The Phantom Of The Opera) :_**

**_ youtube watch?v=CiAfADSxK7U_**

**_Never Dreamed You'd Leave In Summer:  
_**

**_Stevie Wonder - youtube watch?v=cxPtkwhsaOI  
_**

**_Phil Collins - youtube watch?v=UODaXSfFNZo  
_**

**_I'll try to update Chapter 18 this week end :)_**

**_ Enjoy!_**

Chapter 17

_**Rachel's POV**_

I like to rehearse during lunch time, not that there's never anyone in the auditorium, but I just feel better knowing that everyone is doing something else, minimizing the chance of a jock or cheerleader sneeking up on me to throw yet other insults. Plus, since I didn't do much this weekend, it was imperative for me to catch up on my rehearsal time.

I had been there for about half an hour, sitting by the piano, singing diverse songs from my broadway catalogue, the ones I knew absolutely by heart since I lost 3/4 of my music sheets during the storm.

Thinking back to that night I can't help but smile, Quinn had been nice to me, and apparently she wanted to keep it that way. I just didn't want to get my hopes up in case things don't turn out the way I want, but still, today was already so much more than I thought it would ever be.

I stopped myself from thinking too much and started rehearsing again with one of my personnal favorites. After gathering all the emotion needed, I started singing my heart out.

**_No more talk of darkness,_**

**_Forget these wide-eyed fears._**

**_I'm here, nothing can harm you_**

**_My words will warm and calm you._**

**_Let me be your freedom,_**

**_Let daylight dry your tears._**

**_I'm here, with you, beside you,_**

**_To guard you and to guide you . . ._**

**_Then say you love me every winter morning,_**

**_Turn my head with talk of summertime . . ._**

**_Say you need me with you, now and always . . ._**

**_Promise me that all you say is true_**

**_That's all I ask of you . . ._**

**_Let me be your shelter,_**

**_Let me be your light._**

**_You're safe: no-one will find you_**

**_Your fears are far behind you . . ._**

**_All I need is freedom,_**

**_A world that's warm and bright_**

**_And you always beside me_**

**_To hold me and to hide me . . ._**

**_Then say you'll share with me_**

**_One love, one lifetime . . ._**

**_Let me lead you from your solitude . . ._**

**_Say you need me with you here, beside you . . ._**

**_Anywhere you go,let me go too_**

**_That's all I ask of you . . ._**

**_Say the word and I will follow you..._**

**_Share each day with me, each night, each morning . . ._**

**_Say you feel the way I do_**

**_That's all I ask of you . . ._**

**_Anywhere you go let me go too . . ._**

**_Love me -that's all I ask of you . . ._**

"That was great."

I jumped at the voice before realising that Quinn was standing near the front row.

"You scared me." I said with a chuckle, almost not believing she was there, talking to me for the third time today.

"We need to stop meeting like this." she said with a smile. "Tina and Mercedes told me I would find you here, I'm sure I could've guessed though."

"Why were you looking for me? And why are you blue?" I asked, getting worried for no apparent reason.

"Oh, blueberry slushie." It took me a second to understand.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry"

I felt guilty, she was probably slushied because of me. I can't help but wonder if this friendship is really worth it if it makes her life a living hell, I wouldn't want even my worse enemy to go through what I've been going through since freshman year, even less if it's Quinn.

"Why? Were you the giant dumb jock who threw it at me?" she asked with a fake suspicious look.

"No but it's my fault, it's because you sat next to me this morning."

"We don't know that, it could be for many other reasons."

That's not true, even if she wasn't on the cheerios anymore, Quinn was still respected and feared at school. The fact that she got slushied today was all because of me.

"I would give you spare clothes but I'm already wearing them."

"You got...?" she asked, but I'm sure she already knew the answer.

"After third period."

A big cherry slushie right in the eyes, it's a miracle I'm not blind at this point.

"Sorry." she simply said with a sad look.

"It's okay I'm used to it" I said with a shrug. I really was.

"So you wanted to talk to me-" I started to ask while getting up to go closer to her.

"Wait, wait don't move. I'm coming to you, I don't want you to fell head first, you're even worse to be around when you're in pain." she said before climbing on the stage.

Okay that hurt. I don't know exactly how Quinn works with her friends, but being mean is definitely not a good start for me. After all, if I'm such an horrible person to be around why is she here? I should have known this was to good to be true.

I was looking down at the piano, about to tell her that maybe she should go, when she arrived next to me and put a hand on my shoulder, making me look up.

"I'm joking Rachel." she said with a small smile and sincere eyes, and then I felt stupid.

"Oh! Yeah, I'm sorry...it's just...I just need to get use to...you know"

_You being nice to me._

"Yeah I know. Sorry, maybe it's a bit soon for that kind of jokes." she said with a apologizing smile.

"Maybe. You wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to apologize for this morning, I sat next to you without even asking and... you know, I just don't want to make you feel uncomfortable."

That was certainly unexpected, Quinn Fabray apologizing for sitting next to me, seriously am I awake?

"Wow." I simply said, because...just wow.

"What?" she asked with confusion.

"This is just, a bit surreal for me." I replied with a chuckle.

"For me too, and that's why I want to make sure that...we're on the same page."

I was relieved to know that we were still on the same page about wanting to be on the same page, which is a very good thing, and will hopefully stop us from making too much mistakes around each other.

"Well that's very nice of you but absolutely not necessary Quinn, you can sit next to me whenever you want okay?"

_Even on my lap if you want._

_Stop it !_

"Okay." she said with what looked like a shy smile.

"But first you have to give me a detail note with the day, the time, where exactly you want to sit in the room and also a few light topics we could address if class gets boring. You can put it in my locker between 7:30 and 7:50 in the morning." I added with as much seriousness as I could convey.

"Hum okay." she replied with uncertainty, the look on her face was priceless.

"I'm joking Quinn." I finally said with a laugh. She rolled her eyes and chuckled, but I could see the relief on her face.

"I do own a sense of humour contrary to the common opinion."

I even have a great one! Well maybe not a great one, but an "acceptable" one according to my dads.

"Well I guess it's something else I'll have to discover about you." she said with a smile.

I couldn't help but imagine what it would be to have Quinn as a real friend, laughing with her about meaningless things and talking about important ones. It's like going to see a movie after watching the trailer, you already know which part you abslolutely want to see and all you want is to skip the entire beginning to get to that one moment you've been waiting for. Not that I wouldn't enjoy getting to know Quinn properly, but I just which we could skip the beginning with all the awkward silence and possible misunderstanding, to go to that moment when we will be in a good place, comfortable in each others lives.

"So, what are you doing?" she asked, looking at one of my last music sheet.

"Rehearsing, even though I don't have much to rehearse with..."

"Oh yeah you're music sheets I forgot. I still can't believe you almost got us killed for them."

_And I can't believe you still don't get it!_

"5 years old Quinn. I started that collection when I was 5 years old! It's basically the soundtrack of my life, what I've been waking up and going to sleep with. Oh my god, just thinking about it..."

Just thinking about it I wanted to cry. It's not just the fact that it's something that took me my whole life to build, it's also the fact that some were gifts, others had very special meaning for me because I used them during important moments of my life, some were my lucky charms.

"Drama Queen." she said with a smile. It wasn't to be mean and I knew it this time.

"I knew you couldn't possibly understand." I didn't expect her to, it's very rare that people really understand how much it matters, you have to really know me well to get it.

"Do you listen to anything else apart from musicals and Barbra." she asked out of nowhere. My first thoughts were that it was a mockery or a very stupid question, but then I remembered that we were in the process of getting to know each other, and that was exactly what she was trying to do, so I just answered.

"Well of course, to become the accomplish performer that I am I had to try many different gendra, it's also primordial to have a certain culture in music for my future studies and interpretations."

"Okay, let me try that again, do you ENJOY anything else apart from musicals and Barbra?" she asked with a smirk. All of this was so new and scary, Quinn Fabray wanted to have a casual conversation with me.

"I do. Adele, The Beatles, Céline Dion, Billie Holiday, Whitney Houston, Franck Sinatra, Stevie Wonder-" I started

"Wait, Stevie Wonder?" she asked with mocking smile before laughing lightly.

"What? What's wrong with Stevie Wonder?" I asked, while thinking about any kind a controvertial story he could have been part of.

"No nothing! It's just I would've never imagine in a billion years that you would be a Stevie Wonder fan." she replied with a chuckle

It's true that it wouldn't be anyone first guess for me.

"My dad is a huge fan, I'm not an addict like him, but I can't help to get chills everytime I hear "Never dreamed you'd leave in summer" "

"I love that song." she simply said with a small smile before adding "Is it wrong if I say I like Phil Collins version a little bit better?"

"Oh my god yes it's wrong! Don't ever say anything like that near my father or it would get very ugly..." I said, imagining the horrific effect that this confession could have on one Leroy Berry.

"I won't I promise." she said, seeing the horror on my face.

"What about you, what do you enjoy listening to?" I asked, it was my turn to discover a bit more about the mysterious Quinn Fabray.

"I don't listen that much to music, I prefer reading in silence, but I guess I'm more of an indie...pop...rock kind of girl."

"Okay...examples?"

"Well, like you I like the classics, Beatles, Queen, David Bowie, Elvis, Simon & Garfunkel. But I also like stuff a little less known like Band of Horses, Iron & Wine, Bon Iver or something more upbeat like Passion Pit, Phoenix, M83, Temper Trap...You have no idea who I'm talking about do you?"

_Embarassing. _

"Nope." I said with a small voice.

"It's alright, I'll make you listen sometime." I could tell she was sincere and I just smiled at the idea of a future music session with her.

"Are you gonna talk about the original songs today?" she asked after a short silence

"I don't know, maybe I should wait till the end of the week, everyone seem on edge today."

"Everyone is always on edge in this club, it's pratically an activity. I think you shoud do it today, I'll back you up"

I really wasn't up for my teammates rejection today, but having Quinn encouraging me was definitely a big boost.

"I'll think about it." I told her, even though I had already taken my decision.

"Okay, well I'll leave you to it" she said getting up. I felt a little sad that the moment was ending, but I had the conviction that there would be many more to come.

"Yeah, I still have a lot to do"

"I'll see you in glee club." she added before giving me a small wave and leaving the room.

Once she was gone I didn't really feel like rehearsing anymore. My head was somewhere else and to make a perfect performance, you need to be focus and passionate about what you sing, two things I was now incapable of doing because I had just spend 10 minutes talking to Quinn Fabray.

I decided it was better to eat with the girls and Kurt instead.

After gathering my stuff and getting off the stage, I was on my way to the cafeteria. What I came across in the corridor made me froze in an instant. I couldn't believe it at first and had to convince myself that I wasn't having an hallucination, but no, this was real, the sight of Quinn Fabray kissing Finn Hudson in a corner of lockers was real.

_Painfully real._


	18. Chapter 18

**_Hi guys! So chapter 18 like planned, I'll try to put chapter 19 within two days if I can. Thanks again for the reviews, I really appreciate it :)_**

**_Enjoy!  
_**

Chapter 18

_**Quinn's POV**_

"Did you heard something?" I pulled away from Finn and started looking around after hearing a noice, the last thing I needed was for someone to catch us like that.

No one was there even though I'm praticaly sure I saw a door closing.

"Nobody's in that side of the school at this hour, I checked."

He was now behind me, a hand on my shoulder, trying to get my attention back, and he was sure going to have it.

"What the hell was that by the way? You can just jumped out of nowhere and kiss me!"

I was very annoyed with him at that moment, I had been trying to do the right thing today and he was just getting in the way right now.

"Oh come on you didn't seem to mind" he said with a cocky smile, I wanted to hit him.

"Because you didn't give me the chance to!"

"Fine I'm sorry! I didn't know I needed permission to kiss my girlfriend!"

"That's the thing Finn, I'm not your girlfriend!"

"Not yet." Again, he had a smirk plastered on his face.

"Oh god" I muttered to myself, he was impossible to talk to.

"We had this conversation ten times already, I need to figure out things between me and Sam before"

I had to contain myself not to add "and with Rachel", now that I wanted a friendship with her, things were even more complicated. God knows how she would react if she knew, I don't want to hurt her, she is the only thing that seems right in all this mess.

"What is there to figure out? You don't love him and you want to be with me"

"He's a nice guy Finn okay. He's your friend! Don't you even worry a bit about him?" I know how incredibly hypocrite I was for telling him that, but if at least Finn had shown a little bit of guilt, maybe I wouldn't feel so lonely in this.

"He's not really my friend, he's barely my teammate. You can't be mad at me for wanting you so bad." He stepped closer to me, slowly caressing my shoulders with his hands.

"Look I'm sorry about the kiss okay, I just missed you, I thought we were supposed to meet after first period but you stood me up." he said with an annoyed tone.

"I got slushied and you know it!" I snapped.

He was just unbelievable. Being with Finn, you never know how you're supposed to feel, one minute he's the sweetest and you want to hug him, and the other he acts like a jerk and you want to punch him.

"I know, I'm sorry." he softly said, taking my hands.

"It's fine." It wasn't.

"I meant to talk to you about that actually. I heard you got slushied because you sat next to Rachel?"

"Why does everyone assume it's the reason?" I asked, more to myself than to him.

"Well, did you sat next to her?"

"Yeah I did." I simply answered.

"What are you playing at Quinn?" he asked, dropping my hands, I could tell he was about to play the "hero" card.

_Like anyone needs your saving..._

"What do you mean?" I was on the defensive now.

"Look, Rachel is not a threat anymore, I want to be with you. So, whatever you're planning on doing to her, don't. She's a great person and she doesn't deserve it, so back off."

I suddently felt a wave of jealousy hit me, not because the guy I was "dating" was protecting another girl, but because he had the right to. This need to protect Rachel had yet to leave my system, and until then, it felt almost like he was stepping into my territory. He was the one who dumped her, he hurt her as much as I did, but still, because he's Finn Hudson the sweet moron and supposed leader, he had the right to protect her.

"I won't her hurt her." I simply said, but I knew I couldn't make that kind of promise so I added "not intentionally anyway."

"I'm serious Quinn."

_Stay calm, stay calm..._

"So am I. " I replied between gritted teeth, fighting with my own anger.

He just nodded, he didn't believe me and it infuriated me. What's the point in being in a relationship if he can't even know when I'm being sincere. He doesn't know me, he thinks he does, but he's so far away from it.

"So, can I take you out tonight?" he asked like the last 20 seconds never happened.

"We went out yesterday." I said without joy.

"That wasn't going out, you barely stayed 1 hour because you're mom asked you to come home."

She hadn't actually, I just wanted to go home, I just wanted to keep away from him, from everyone, until I was able to make a decision. Plus, the "romantic date" he promised me was dinner at Breadstix while listening to him talking about football and how much he wants to make out.

"I have to talk with Santana tonight, she's pretty mad at me." I had no intention whatsoever to talk to Santana, but I needed an excuse, I still had a date with Sam that night.

"You can talk to her after school" He really wasn't picking up on the fact that I just didn't want to see him.

"We can-"

He was interrupted by the bell.

_Thank God._

"I have class, I'll see you in glee club." I quickly said before walking away in the now crowded corridor.

_**Rachel's POV**_

Classes passed by pretty fast, I didn't listen much, too caught up in my thoughts. I still had trouble believing what I had seen, I was so confused, and more that anything else, I was mad. Mad at him for ruining everything, mad at her for pretending to be my friend, and mad at me for being so freakin' naive. I really thought she wanted to change, wanted to be the better person I know she can be, but no, of course not, she's Quinn Fabray and I'm Rachel Berry.

God knows how long this had been going on, maybe even before Finn and I broke up. I don't know what she was planning by trying to be my friend, but it can't be anything good.

_I'm so stupid._

I was now on my way to glee club and for once, I wasn't happy to go there. I didn't want to see them, and even less pretend like everything was fine. I was determined not to waste my time with these people anymore, I was just tired of being made a fool of.

Only Mercedes, Mike and Tina had already arrived in the room, I gave them a quick hello before climbing to the last row, I wouldn't be able to bear Quinn's look on my back.

Artie and Brittany were the next to come, followed closely by Santana who looked as pissed as usual, but probably nothing compared to the rage boiling in me when Finn entered with a smirk on his face. I was somehow less nervous to see him than Quinn, I knew she wouldn't understand why I was about to give her the cold shoulder, but I'm sure she will figure it out soon enough.

And there she was, beautiful, with her perfect eyes, her perfect smile, and with Sam at her side. Even after what she's done, I can't help but stop myself from judging her. It's almost an automatism, I try to defend her, to find reasons why she would act so horribly, trying to figure her out once more.

Of course this fight was an internal one, and that's why when she gave me a smile as she was walking toward her chair, I didn't returned it.

She saw right away that something was wrong, she looked worried, probably scared that whatever plan she had was discovered.

She gave me a few side glances while she was talking with Sam and Puck, I avoided each of them. I hate confrontations because no matter how you take them, you always end up being hurt, and god knows this one would hurt.

I could tell she wanted to come and see me, but before she could make the move, Mr Shue entered the room, asking for everyone's attention.

"Alright guys, today we need to start thinking about a set list for regionals. I know you have a lot of ideas so we're gonna take things slow and really try to find the songs that portrays the best the energy and emotion of this group. So, ideas?

I was about to raise my hand, ready to propose original songs, even if I made the decision to talk about it under Quinn's influence, a decision is a decision, but before I could talk, Sam stood up from his chair.

"Sorry Mr Shue, but before we do that, I have something I'd like to perform. I don't know if we can use it at regionals, but at least I think it will set a good mood to start the week."

"Okay, what song is it?"

"Baby by Justin Bieber"

After a few laughter and other comments about Sam's hair, he started singing. It was soon very clear that the song was addressed directly to Quinn, I wish I could've seen her face at that moment just so I could read it, see how she feels receiving a love declaration from her boyfriend while the guy she's cheating on him with is sitting right behind her. I could see Finn's profile, he was definitely not happy, and I really didn't care, erasing my feelings for him was easier than I thought it would, probably because now I was able to focus on all his defaults.

This whole situation was confusing, and on top of that, I could feel my own jealousy starting peeking out. I didn't know where it was coming from, but being so close to Quinn this past few days...let's just say that I get attached easily to people.

He ended his performance under the applause, with half of the people in the room aroused and the other half wanting to be him. I wasn't really in the mood to cheer, but determined to talk about my idea.

"Mr Shue, now that the mood is lighter thanks to Sam, I have a few things I would like to talk about." I simply said, getting up and taking a few seconds to find my balance on one foot.

"Okay Rachel, go ahead." I ignored the sighs and annoyed faces and started.

"Alright, first of all, I'd like to reassure you about my health, I just have a minor sprain and will be back on my feet long before regionals"

"Too bad."

Santana's comment was accompanied by a few chuckles and nods from a some of the others. I expected one from Quinn, but instead she was looking at Santana with what looked like anger, or disappointment, I wasn't sure, but it still wasn't what I expected.

"Thank you for you concern Santana." I finally said with sarcasm, she just shrugged.

"Now, concerning regionals, I don't think that any songs would be good enough to beat Vocal Adrenaline and The Warblers, especially now that they have Kurt. We need to be bold, try something new, something that will assure us a big advantage"

"What do you have in mind Rachel?" Mr Shue asked, already feeling the hostility growing in the room.

"I think we need to write our own original music. Look we can't lose regionals again this year you guys, you have to trust me, I feel really strongly about this."

"She's right, we got our asses kicked last year, and Rachel was the only one who actually witnessed it since you were all at the hospital with me. Let's face it, she would never suggest something if it wasn't meant to help us win."

I was completely lost by Quinn's statement, what the hell was she trying to do?

I wasn't the only one wondering since the whole group fell into a small silence right before comments and questions started to pop.

"Did she pay you to say that?"

"Who are you?"

"This is a terrible idea."

"It's complete suicide!"

"Since when do you care?"

"They've lost it."

"Do you want us to get humiliated?"

"Are you drunk?"

"Hell no this is not happening!"

Everyone was talking at the same time, praticaly yelling, me and Quinn were the only two silent, not even paying attention to the others but just looking at each other.

I didn't know how I was supposed to act, how I was supposed to feel, once again I was back to square one, but for the first time I wasn't sure about wanting to go further.

Maybe it just wasn't meant to be, maybe there's a reason why Quinn and I were never able to have a normal relationship, maybe we're just too different.

She knew something had changed, she could probably read it on my face, in my eyes and I could see the confusion and anxiety in hers.

"Guys! Guys! Calm down!" Mr Shue finally stepped in, making everyone stop, and making me broke the eye contact with Quinn.

"Let's put it to a vote okay? All those in favor of doing original songs for regionals raise you hand"

I raised my hand of course, and so did Quinn, earning herself some looks that she just ignored with a determined face, but no other hands were up. Mr Shue just clapped his hands and looked at us with "I'm sorry but I'm not so sorry look", and the bell rang announcing the end of this awful day.

I picked up my stuff and walked out of the room as quickly as possible, some would took it as a diva tantrum but in reality I wanted to get away as fast as possible because I knew Quinn would want to talk to me and I wasn't ready for that yet.


	19. Chapter 19

**_Hey guys, sorry the update is a bit late, but here's chapter 19, I enjoyed writing it so tell me what you think :)_**

**_Also I'm sorry if there's any spelling or grammar mistakes, I try to catch all of them but english not being my first language I miss some. _**

**_I also had a question for you, I realised that my chapters weren't very big and I was thinking about making them longer but it will probably take me more time to update. So do you prefer longer chapters that will take more time to come or what I'm doing right now with an update every 2-3 days? Let me know! :)  
_**

**_Enjoy!  
_**

Chapter 19

_**Quinn's POV**_

I tried going after Rachel but before I could make it to the door Sam was already next to me, ready to take me home.

Something had happened with Rachel, I did something wrong, I don't know what but it must be pretty awful, seeing how hurt she looked.

I can't believe that after only one day trying to be her friend I was already ruining it.

I had to fix it, but before, I still had to keep the promise I made to myself, and do something about Sam and Finn.

Sam's performance was sweet and a complete turn on, but I wasn't able to appreciate it, not because Finn was behind me, but because Rachel was. I couldn't stop rewinding the whole day in my head, trying to find where I messed up.

I think Sam realised I was somewhere else, that's why he didn't push it, and even as we were walking to his car, he didn't say a word about it, and neither did I.

We drove in relative silence, listening to music, both knowing that the next talk we would have wasn't going to be a good one.

He parked in front of my house, it was now or never and he knew it as well. He turned to me and started.

"What's up with you? You've been kinda off this past few days" he said with a soft voice. I was thankful for his tone, I couldn't handle shouting at the moment.

"I think I'm having some kind of identity crisis" I replied with a joyless chuckle.

I didn't know how to explain it, I know this all started by me just wanting to have some fun, but it ended up by me realising that my life, my actions, my judgements are just all completely fucked up. I didn't want to hurt Sam, or Finn for that matter, but I wasn't going to be able to try and find myself with them in the way. They are both better off without me.

"Do it." Sam simply said without looking at me.

"What?" I asked, even though I perfectly knew what he was talking about.

"Break up with me." he finally said. I didn't responde, so he added

"I've been feeling you pulling away from me this past few weeks, I thought I knew why, but seeing you like this, I'm starting to think there's something else, something other than Finn."

"You know about Finn?" I asked, not because I was surprised but because I wanted to make sure he knew everything there was to know.

"Santana came to talk to me this morning"

"Of course she did." I said with a tired voice.

I wasn't mad at Santana, disappointed maybe, but it would have been surprising otherwise. Without knowing it she probably made me a favor by telling him.

"I think I already knew it anyway, I guess I was just trying to hold on to us. Justin Bieber being my last card." he said with a sad smile.

"You're sweet."

It's all I could answer, my eyes already tearing up.

_I am so bad at this._

"You know, I've been trying to understand why you would do this to someone instead of being honest. A part of me wants to believe that it's because you were scared to hurt me, but the other part is telling me that it's only because you're selfish and genuinely don't care about others."

I was feeling the exact same way, if nobody knows me at all, it's maybe because I don't know myself either…

"I guess it's a bit of both. I'm messed up Sam, no matter how hard I try, it's like...I'm constantly fighting with myself, being someone I don't want to be."

I let a few tears fall, they were a mix of relief and sadness, but mostly fear. All of this was coming to an end and it meant going into the unknown. I knew how to be head cheerleader, I knew how to be fierceless, and I knew how to be a football player's girlfriend. I was leaving all of this behind, basically the foundation of my life for something I had yet to discover.

"Do you love him?" he asked, making me look up. "Please tell me you love him, otherwise I really don't see the point." he added

I can't see it either, but I know there is one and it's up to me to find it.

"I wish I could tell you this is all because of love...but it's not. The truth is...I have no idea what it is about, and it scares the shit out of me" I replied, struggling to talk while attempting to hold back my tears.

"Hey, it's okay, you'll figure it out. Maybe you just need to start over, see the big picture" he calmly said, touching my arm lightly to comfort me.

He truly deserves someone good, someone honest, someone has sweet and caring as him. I really hope he will find that person.

"I know it's not possible now because of how I treated you, but I hope that one day we can be friends, because you really are an amazing person Sam and anyone would be lucky to have you in their life." I said, and I meant every word.

"You have you're moments too." he said with a smile, but I could see the sadness in his eyes. That was my cue to go, before doing even more damage.

"I better go." I finally said, unfastening my seatbelt before turning one last time toward him.

"I'm so sorry." I said, the emotion painfully stuck in my throat and a few tears running freely on my cheeks.

"I know." he simply said with a calm voice.

And with one last look I was out of the car and walking toward the house.

_**Rachel's POV**_

Thankfully my dad was already waiting for me outside when I pratically launch myself out of the building, afraid to have a running Quinn behind me.

The moment I entered the car, he knew something was up.

"Hey sweetie! You're alright?"

"I'm fine." I replied, slowly regaining my breath.

"You know you shouldn't push too much with the crutches you could've easily fall back there" he said, pointing to aimlessly toward the school.

"I'm fine dad, can we just get out of here"

"Okay...are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" he asked, I really wasn't in the mood to talk, especially to my dad because he can read me like an open book.

"Just start the car dad!" I snapped

"Fine!" he exclaimed with a pitched voice "There's no need to be rude." he added.

"Sorry" I said with a small voice.

The moment the engine started, music filled the car, and guess who?

"I can't believe this." I muttered to myself.

_Freakin' Stevie Wonder!_

The familiar sound of "Part-Time Lover" was coming to my ears like mocking laughters from the universe.

"Dad can we please change the music" It was just too much irony for my taste.

"What? No, if you can't appreciate the pure talent and awesomeness of Stevie Wonder then I'm afraid I can't call you my daughter anymore" he stated with horror.

"Dad please, I'm just not in the mood to listen to that" I told him, trying to stay as calm as possible, but about to throw my fist at the stereo.

"What are you talking about? You've been in the mood since you were 4 years old! I can still hear you screaming "signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours" from the back seat" he exclaimed, pointing behind him to the famous seat.

"I wasn't screaming, I was singing with my soul." I simply said, looking out the window.

"Exactly, so now tell me what's really going on and leave Stevie alone"

I knew he wasn't gonna let go of it, but I still wanted to avoid a 1 hour talk about Finn and Quinn.

"I just had a tough day that's all."

"Something happened?"

_Everything happenned!_

I didn't want to, but I needed to. My dad was an awesome listener, but he could be also brutally honest, not as much as Daddy, but still enough to make sure I understand it's for my own good.

"It's just...why do people always have to lie?" I snapped, my frustration finally coming out.

"Please tell me this is not about Finn again. Are you guys back together?" he asked while looking at the road.

"No we're not."

"Thank god." he said with a sigh.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, not very pleased by the insinuation.

"Oh come on, the kid is sweet and everything but you guys have absolutely nothing in common" he said, emphasizing on "nothing".

"Yes we did!"

"Like what? " he asked before adding "and glee club doesn't count"

I was about to answer when I realised I had nothing to say, a complete blank. Finn and I had nothing in common, a part from Quinn of course, but it's not the answer my dad was looking for.

"See" he said after my silence.

"So what? You and daddy had nothing in common either." I retorted

"We have plenty of things in common!"

"Yeah maybe now, but back in the days... I've seen pictures dad..." I said, just thinking about those I wanted to poke my eyes out.

"What pictures?" he asked and turned to me when we were at a red light, giving me a suspicious look.

"Pride 1986"

"Oh my god! He showed you these_!_? I can't believe it!" he practicaly yelled

"Dad it doesn't matter really" I tried, not wanting for him to start a rant, but it was too late.

"Okay honey let explain a few things, first of all, back then I still had a lot of troule accepting the fact that my hair were never gonna be as soft as a baby blanket. I did everything though, tried every shampoo, lotions, medicine even, so when all of this didn't work I felt like I needed to do something rebelious about it, I never thought it would end up that way, and definetely not in that color but-"

"Dad! I really don't need to hear this right now okay" I interrupted. I don't ramble for nothing, I learned from the best.

"Oh sure I'm sorry sweetie, just thinking about I get chills." he said before making his whole body tremble, and finally realising that the light was green.

"What were we talking about?" he asked, a little bit disoriented.

"We were talking about the fact that you and daddy had nothing in common just like Finn and I." I said quickly. Now I wanted to know what makes it possible to be with someone completely different.

"Oh yeah right. It didn't matter that we didn't have anything in common, because we had that one thing, the only thing you really need when you start a relationship"

"Love." I stated.

"Passion." he simply said.

Passion could mean a lot of things, but right now with my dad talking about relationships and what a couple needs, the first thing that came to my mind was that passion = sex.

"Okay are you about to tell me something that will probably traumatize me for the rest of my life?" I quickly asked, a bit horrified.

"No. I'm just saying that if you're passionate about the person you love, if you're proud of them and you want them to be proud of you and you both share a mutual respect and a certain amount of admiration then it's on good tracks."

I had some admiration for Finn, I mean he is a good leader and he's cute, he has a nice body and a very good voice. I know he admires my talent and my determination. It's enough right?

"Finn and I had that." I said with an uncertain tone.

"No you didn't. You see, you, Rachel Berry, give a certain image to the world, the tiny amazingly talented diva with a big dream, who can be selfish and who has the need to say everything that crosses her mind. That's how most people see you isn't it?"

I wanted to laugh out loud but held back.

_He has no clue. _

"That's probably the nicest version." I said, I didn't want to alarm him, but I think he already knew anyway. He gave me a small smile and resumed talking.

"Well you, your father and I, the three of us know that you are a lot more than that." he said sincerely.

Of course I was more than that, years of bullying makes you see life differently, and I'm not only talking about high school, I'm talking about being a jewish girl raised by two gay dads, and one of them being african-american. There are so many things that people don't know about me, but I want it that way. As soon as they find your weaknesses, they use them against you, so I learned how to keep mine in check.

"The person who loves you, who really wants to be fully in your life and share it, that person will be able to see you the way you really are, and not through everyone else's eyes." he continued.

I was starting to understand that the only way I will be completely comfortable with someone is if I trust them, really trust them.

"I'm not saying that Finn didn't try, I'm sure he did and maybe he would've get there at some point, but I don't think he would've ever been able to completely let go of everything else."

Of course he wouldn't have. Even if Finn is in glee club and dated a geek like me, he never stopped worrying about other's people opinion, and just tried to be the best among the worse.

"I know what you mean." I simply said. He nodded and I thought it was the end of it, but of course, it wasn't.

"So, was Finn the only reason?"

I didn't mind talking about Finn, but talking about Quinn was another matter. I didn't want to say anything I might regret later, because I know Dad will go repeat averything I say to Daddy and god knows he will use it. Even now that I'm mad at her and pratically sure she made a fool out of me again, I still had hope that my dads will like her.

_Who knows?_

"There was someone else." I said sadly, barely louder than a whisper, hoping he wouldn't hear it.

There was a small silence, I was looking out the window and I could feel my father's eyes going between the road and me.

"Okay... you seem more disappointed by that someone else than Finn, who could it be?"

It was a retorical question, he knew exactly who it was and was just waiting for a confirmation, which I gave by looking back at him.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. Have you tried to talk to her or was that the reason why you ran to the car?"

_An open book, I am a freakin' open book!_

"I hate confrontations Dad" I tried to defend myself

"Oh I know that, but despite yourself you can't help creating them." he said with a chuckle.

"I just don't know how to talk to her, it's like I'm paralized or something."

"Rachel Berry speechless, I haven't seen that one coming."

He was trying to lighten the mood, but it wasn't really working for me.

"That's not funny."

He stopped the car in front of our house and turned to me.

"I know, I'm sorry honey. You'll figure it out, you always do." he said with a comforting tone

"That's the thing I don't! Not with her! No matter what I do, everything always goes wrong! And what am I even talking about_!_? It's her fault not mine! " I snapped, adding hand gestures to my rant.

"Okay, okay calm down" he said, pulling my arms down.

"I'm sorry, I hadn't realise how furious I was!"

"It's okay, it'll pass" he calmly said.

"No I don't think so" I stated.

"Really not?" he asked, I wasn't really paying attention looking out the window, just answering automaticaly through my rage.

"No."

"Like on a scale to 1 out of 10, how mad are you?"

"I don't know, at least 200" I answered while thinking about all the time Quinn Fabray made my life a living hell.

"Okay...is there a small chance that maybe it would drop to like ummm 6-7?"

_Wait, what is he talking about?_

"No! Why are you asking me that?" I asked turning to him, finally noticing my dad's weird behaviour.

"Umm because...she and her mom are kinda coming to dinner tonight"

"WHAT_!_?"


	20. Chapter 20

**_Hi guys! I'm sorry I have to apologize once more for the late uptade but I had a lot to do this past few weeks :/ Anyway, I'm posting two chapters so I hope you'll forgive me :) _**

**_Please don't hesitate to review both chapters, thank you :)  
_**

**_Enjoy!  
_**

Chapter 20

_**Quinn's POV**_

"WHAT?_!_" I yelled, pratically breaking my voice.

I barely had time to enter the house, take off my jacket and exchange a quick "Hello" and "How are you?" that my mom was throwing this massive bomb at me: "We're having dinner at the Berry's tonight so you need to go change", making me yell my next few words.

"No no no no we can't go to the Berry's tonight!"

"Why not?" she asked without even looking up from whatever work she was doing in the living room.

"Because no! Look I already had the worse day and Rachel is mad at me!" I tried, there was no way I was spending an entire evening with Rachel looking at me the way she did in glee club.

"What did you do?" she asked with a sigh, finally looking up at me. My mom knew I had a certain reputation at school, I hadn't told her any details because I don't think any parent wants to know how horrible and cruel their child is to other people. Still, I had been raised by Russel Fabray, so I'm sure she wouldn't be surprised.

"I don't even know!" I yelled in frustration.

"Well it will be a good occasion to find out" she replied with a satisfied smile before going back to her work.

"Please please don't do this, I don't want to seat through an entire dinner with Rachel giving me a death look, one of her dad being weirdly nice to me and god knows what the other will do!" I was really freaking out at this point, this was possibly the worse day ever.

"Language" she reprimended.

"I'm sorry. Mom I'm serious we can't go." I was more firm than insterical now which was a good thing, maybe she will see how serious I was about not wanting to go.

"I'm not going to cancel at the last minute, that would be rude." she said with a snob accent, she used to do it all the time with my dad but slowly lost the habit when he left. Hearing it again was a bit frightening and I started thinking about what my dad woud say about all of this, and I knew exactly what he would say.

"Oh please mom, you don't even know them, and by the way where does this idea of going to dinner with a gay couple comes from?" I asked, I knew I shouldn't play this card, it wasn't fair to the Berry's or even to my mom who was trying to be more open, which I eventually want her to be, but just not tonight.

"What is that supposed to mean? I know plenty of gay people!" she exclaimed, at bit offended by my last comment, I had to hold back a laugh for a second.

"Like who?" I asked, knowing perfectly she didn't know a single gay person.

"Gregory that nice boy at the mall who always gives me free samples" she said with a satisfied nod.

"Gregory is not gay!" I exclaimed.

"He wears a bright purple tee shirt sweetheart, with glitter on it" she said with a soft and matter-of-facty tone.

"That's his costume mom! He has to wear it for work, he has to sell a perfume that's call Purple Delight!" I retorted.

To be honest, the first time I talked to Gregory I thought he was gay too, not because of the outfit, but because of how much he knew about girl products and also his constant talking about his friend Charlie, but soon realised that Charlie wasn't an "he" but a "she".

"Does he have a girlfriend?" she asked, as if any single guy with a purple shirt was gay.

"Yes, Charlie." I simply answered.

"Charlie? The boy who works at The Cupcake World?" she asked with what looked like excitement.

"No, Charlie, the girl who works at the video store."

"Oh... I though she was a lesbian!" she exclaimed with a confused look.

"Oh for crying out loud… Look mom, I'm really happy that you're trying to be more open and get to know people but please can't it be any other gay couple on any other day?" I finally asked with desperation.

"No." she said firmly. I was started to get worried that this was actually going to happen. I wouldn't mind so much if me and Rachel were okay, it could've been a good opportunity to really start this new friendship, with our parents getting along. But with her mad at me, dinner would be a real nightmare, I just needed to a little more time to make things right with her.

"Okay but why does it have to be tonight, I thought it was supposed to be in a far away future" This was my last card: posponing the dinner.

"That's the other part I need to talk to you about, I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon for Chicago." she said with an apologizing look.

"You just got back!"

I didn't want her to feel bad, and certainly didn't want her to worry about me, but still, I kinda miss her when she's away.

"I know sweetie and I'm sorry, but Valerie says that if we can get that client than it would increase our business to a very good level, out of the state maybe. I'll only be gone a few days I promise." she said, getting up from the couch and stepping close to me, holding on to my forearms.

The touch was comforting, and I focused on the sensation for a few seconds before my mind brought me back to the initial issue of this conversation.

"Then why can't we do the dinner this weekend?" I asked with hope.

"Because they have plans this weekend." she replied with a smile, she knew I had no more arguments.

"Come on Quinnie, it's a school night so it won't be too long and it will be over before you know it. And maybe you won't even want to go because you would have worked things out with Rachel and have an amazing time." she added.

"I highly doubt it Mom." I said with a small voice, worry and nervousness already taking over me.

"I have a bit of work to finish, it won't be long and after that I have to go buy a present for the Berry's, do you want to come?" she asked with a soft voice.

"Yeah, I'll go take a shower while you finish."

"Okay." she simply said before giving me a kiss on the forehead and going back to the couch.

I was about to go up the stairs when the bell rang. It was rare to have a visitor at this hour of the day and suddently the image of Rachel Berry standing on my front porch coming to yell at me popped into my mind.

"I'll get it!" I shout to my mom who was in the other room.

I took a deep breath before opening the door.

_**Rachel's POV**_

"Rach can you cut that carrot for me please?" Daddy asked, putting a carrot and a knife in front of me.

"No." I simply answered from my chair across the kitchen island.

"Rachel, please."

"No, I'm not doing this." I said before crossing my arm on my chest.

"Come on sweetheart, it's just a dinner" Dad tried. Since he announced the terrible news in the car, I had been trying to make them cancel the awful evening dinner. I didn't want to see Quinn, not today, not after what she had done.

"Nope, I am not having dinner with Quinn Fabray tonight."

"Yes you are. We ended this argument an hour ago, now help us cook dinner." Dad said a little bit more firmly, making me understand that he was starting to get really annoyed by my behavior.

"I don't understand why you're doing this to me! I had the longest day, my ankle hurts and I still have to practice, plus it's a school night!"

"We already told you, the dinner won't be long, I promise that by ten you will be in your bed. As for your ankle, you're the one who doesn't want to take the painkillers." Daddy said while cutting some vegetables, Dad was already putting out the fancy dinner plates that we only use when we have guests.

"Yes, because I don't know what effect they're going to have on me"

The last thing I needed was to be completely high in front of Quinn, again...

"Can't we just do this another night?" I asked with hope.

"Judy will be away all week, and we're out of town this week-end so it will be tonight, and that's final." Daddy replied, sticking slightly the knife in the chopping board on the word "final", making it more dramatic as usual.

"Why does it have to be this week? Why not the next one?!" I asked, getting upset again. I knew I was acting like a child but the nervousness and the anger were just stronger.

"Okay that's enough! What the hell happened with Quinn that makes this dinner so bad? I thought you wanted us to get to know her"

I jumped a bit at Dad's voice, is not the one who raises it usually.

"Nothing happened."

"Fine, if you don't want to tell us, maybe Quinn will" Daddy said without even looking up from the tomato he was cutting.

"Please don't!" I quickly said, picturing Quinn's face at the mention of the subject.

"It's something that only concerns me and Quinn." Which terrified me. Being alone with her wasn't something I looked forward to for once.

"And Finn." Dad added.

_Like I could forget!_

"Finn? Oh please tell you're not back with him!" Daddy asked with a pleading face.

"No, I'm not." I simply answered, not wanting to analyze my relationship with Finn again.

"Thank god." he said with a relief sigh.

"Oh yeah that reminds me, you showed our daughter the pictures of pride 86? How dare you Hiram?" Dad asked. I was thankful he forgot about me for a second, and seeing the two of them bicker over something as stupid as those photos was always very entertaining.

"Oh honey, those needed to be seen. It was a way too heavy burden for me." Daddy started, patting my Dad's shoulder like he was a little boy. "And anyway, I can assure you she loves you more for it, don't you sweetie?" he asked, turning towards me with an insisting look.

"Completely." I quickly answered, trying not to laugh. Dad gave me an expressionless look and left the kitchen without a word. Daddy shrug his shoulder and then leaned on the kitchen island, put his head in his right hand, the knife in the other, and looked at me for a few seconds.

"What?" I finally asked, getting a bit uncomfortable under his stare.

"Are you gonna cut that carrot?" he asked, pointing it with the knife.

Of course this wasn't about the carrot, but what the carrot symbolized. If I cut it, the dinner is happening, I woud have to face Quinn in a few hours, and will have an horribly awkward evening. If I don't cut it, I'm being the immature child who rather be seen as a coward than face her own problems.

Daddy saw my hesitation and put the knife directly in my hand with a small nod, I sigh and nod as well, surrending to my unpredictable life once more.

"Come on, I'm sure you guys will work it out, and I promise I won't embarass you." he said with a reassuring smile.

"I know you won't, I more scared of embarassing myself actually." I said, the knot in my stomach already growing bigger.

"You're an actress, use it." he stated and gave me a wink.

I wish I was able to play a part in front of Quinn but it would almost feel like lying to her and there was already too much of that between us. I would have to be true to myself and try to stay calm and composed.

_It's gonna be alright, I can do this!_

As I was internally cheering myself up, Dad came back in the kitchen and sat next to me.

"Here honey, look at those." he simply said before giving me some pictures. What I saw on those is an image I will never forget, unfortunately.

"Oh my god! What are those!?" I nearly screamed.

"Pride 87." Dad said with a smirk addressed to Daddy.

"God my eyes! Keep those away from me!" I exclaimed, pushing the indescribable photos away.

"How dare you Leroy?" Daddy asked with a low and daunting voice.

"Oh honey those needed to be seen." Dad said with the biggest grin.

"Okay you officially traumatized me. I'll be in my room analysing my emotional status and calculating whether or not I'm gonna be able to have normal relationships with a significant other in the future after seeing this." I quickly said before getting up and leaving.

Just the time to hear Daddy shout "Hey! What about the carrot_!_?" that I was already lying on my bed, running all the possible scenarios for tonight's dinner.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

_**Quinn's POV**_

6:56 pm. I look at my watch one last time before getting out of the car. Only a few steps and me and mom will be at the Berry's front door, only a few steps and I'll be in front of Rachel, only a few steps and this awful evening will start.

All I want to do is turn around and go hide somewhere.

_Get a grip Fabray!_

Mom is all smily, carrying a bix box of macaroons and the beautiful vase we bought earlier today, wrapped up in golden paper, while I carry the massive bouquet of flowers that goes with it.

I'm happy she's happy, but god knows how much I wish this wasn't happening.

Today had really been the worse, even more than I expected and it was far from being over. A pissed off Rachel Berry is a dangerous Rachel Berry, at least for me. Her confidence is her best weapon, and it can easily weaken mine.

We're now in front of the door and my mom is about to ring the bell, but before she does I stop her hand.

"Wait."

"What is it?" she asked a bit confused.

"I just need a second" I replied, looking down and taking small breath, I was getting way to nervous for something as stupid as a dinner.

"I think I haven't seen you that nervous since your dance recital in 2nd grade" she said with a small chuckle.

It took me a second to remember the memory in question, and it made me feel even worse. Back then I was someone else, someone who had every reason to be nervous. Being in the same state today made me feel a lot smaller suddently, trap once more in the mind of my 8 years old self, which is not a nice place to be.

"Thanks for reminding me" I said, my mom being one of the few people who actually knows about my past and how awful it was for me. I saw the instant guilt in her eyes, which made me feel guilty as well.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but you need to relax, nothing is going to happen alright?"

Her words were comforting and I wanted to believe them so bad, but knowing Rachel, something was definitely going to happen tonight.

"Yeah you're right, I'm just being silly" I tried to reassure her, but mostly myself.

"Okay, so I'm going to ring the bell now" she said with a sweet voice.

"Okay." I said after taking a big breath.

"Here we go."

She rang the bell, we heard movements inside the house and a few second later the door opened and a very elegant Leroy Berry was standing before us.

"Hello! Please come in!" he said with his natural dynamism, which made my mom smile instantly.

"Judy, it's so nice to meet you in person" he said, taking my mom's hand, the other holding the presents, and pulling her into a hug that she immediately returned.

"You too Leroy" she said, pulling away a bit, but still holding on to his hand.

"Well your voice doesn't betray your beauty, you look stunning." he said before stepping away to admire my mom's entire outfit.

"Thank you, you look very dashing yourself." she said with a smile.

This just look like a scene from another universe. My mom fake flirting with a gay man, it was disturbing and at the same time it suited her perfectly.

If you erase the entire history with my dad, Judy Fabray is an independent single mom with a good job and, the scene before my eyes being the proof, who doesn't have any trouble making encounters or even friends with people outside of her usual circle. That last part was completely new to me, I was raised around a certain kind of people, with certain type of interests and especially certain type of expectations. Joining glee club gave me the opportunity to open myself to difference and made me more tolerant with people of my age, but being happy and goofy with adults is still very hard for me, I can hear my father's voice in my head telling me to be respectful and have impeccable manners, which of course didn't involve warm hugs and first name basis.

"It's nice to see you again Quinn, and you look just as beautiful." he said before giving me a hug as well which was a lot more difficult with the flowers.

"Thanks, here, these are for you." I said, handing him the flowers

"And this goes with it" Mom continued, giving him the well wrapped vase.

"Those flowers are gorgeous, you shouldn't have" he said and actually looked sincere. He put down the flowers on a small table that was in the entry so he could open the present.

"Oh my god it's beautiful!" he exclaimed, examinating the vase like a true professionnal. It's during that moment that his husband joined us.

"Hi!" he said before kissing my mom on each cheeks like they were old friends. Which was just...weird.

"Look honey, isn't it gorgeous?" Leroy asked his husband. I looked over at my mom, but she didn't even flinch at the term of endearment.

"It is! But you didn't have to bring us anything" he said with as much sincerity as Leroy.

"Oh please, you were nice enough to invite us that's the least we could do" Mom retorted with a smile.

"And of course you must be Quinn" he said, I was scared he was going to kiss me as well or give me a hug, but he must have sensed it and offered me his hand instead, I took it a gave it a small squeeze.

"It's nice to meet you" he said with a smile and friendly eyes.

I don't know what I was expecting from my first meeting with Hiram Berry, but this definitely wasn't it. Maybe Rachel was right, maybe them not knowing the whole truth eased things up a bit and gave me the benefit of the doubt. Rachel. I had forgot for a minute the reason why I was so nervous, and now the knot in my stomach was back full power.

"You too Mr Berry." I managed to said with a calm and almost confident voice.

"Please no Mr Berry, call me Hiram."

"And goes for me as well in case you forgot." Leroy added with a smile, finally detaching his eyes from the vase.

"I'm gonna take care of these beautiful flowers and I'll be right back."

"Oh let me help you, the florist showed me a wonderful disposition for them." Mom said, following Leroy and complimenting the beauty of their interior. It was indeed beautiful, it was modern but a the same time cozy, and I could absolutely imagine Rachel growing up here.

"Come on let's go sit down, Rachel will be down in a minute, it takes her some time to get ready with the brace."

I followed him to the living room area, my mom and Leroy weren't far since the kitchen, the dinning room and the living room had invisible separations. I sat down on one of the couch and he came sit in the armchair next to it, that way he wasn't completely facing me, but we were still in a good position to talk.

"I wanted to thank you by the way, for taking care of her the night of the storm, that was very nice of you." he said with a smile.

I still didn't know what to expect with him, Rachel had told me that he was the one who was less enclined to forgive me for my past behavior, and apparently my present also, but I couldn't find any resentment or sarcasm in his voice. Still, he knew I had been his daughter tormentor for the past two years, and the last thing I need his for him to think that I don't even care or take full responsability for it. Pretenting that everything was fine because I found a pack of ice seemed just wrong.

"I didn't do much really, just kept her company I guess" I answered, hoping it would close the subject.

"That's not what she told us, and I know what Rachel is like when she's in pain, keeping her company is already quite a feat." he said with a chuckle.

I guess I hadn't seen the worse of Rachel because even if she was really hurt she didn't show it that much, she was actually great to be around that night.

"She was alright." I simply said.

And as on cue, a big noice caught both our attention, and a nearly falling Rachel appeared at the bottom of the stairs which was right at the entrance of the living room.

The moment I saw her I felt something that I am unable to describe. The contrast of my emotions was so confusing, I wanted to hug her and tell her I'm sorry for whatever it is that I had done, but another part of me just wanted to run out of the door and never look back. Neither of this possibilities being appropriate at the moment, I just stayed put, slightly shifting on my seat, waiting for her to notice my presence.

"You're okay sweetie?" Hiram quickly asked, ready to get up in case Rachel was hurt.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just...slipped a bit, those bloody crutches are so..." she stopped talking when our eyes met. A small silence followed, and the same way it did before, seconds turn into hours, days, years, even eternity for all I know.

Without even thinking it I let out a small "Hi", it was almost a whisper.

"Hi" she returned a bit louder, and then her eyes started changing, I could read the confusion, the saddness and even a bit of anger in them, the exact same look she had given me in glee club earlier that day.

She was the first to break the connection, looking everywhere but at me, and suddently seemed a lot more nervous. Tension was building up and I didn't know what to do next, thankfully Hiram stepped in, probably aware of the awkwardness between his daughter and I.

"Your dad and Judy are in the kitchen" he simply said while pointing at his husband and my mom who were talking while arranging the flowers, Rachel jumped at the occasion.

"I'll go say hi " she said right away, still avoiding eye contact and going towards the kitchen, leaving me alone with Hiram once again.

A small silence fell on us, and Hiram was simply staring at me with a smile.

_Creepy. _

I could hear my own breathing accelerate, for a second I had a taste of how the people I stare down at everyday felt like. But what Hiram was doing was way worse, because I had absolutely no idea what he was thinking.

I thought about confessing all the horrible things I did to Rachel and beg for forgiveness on my knees but then I realized it was exactly what he was expecting.

Sure I would have to apologize at some point, but I didn't want him to think I was weak. My life had been controlled so many times and for so many things, but this time it was up to me, if I do something it would be because I want to, not because I'm being mentally pressured by a middle-aged gay man with glasses, a bright green sweater and a creepy smile. So I just kept quiet and looked right back at him, almost challenging him. He understood right away, let out a small chuckle and broke the eye contact before talking.

"So! How was your day?" He asked like the last 20 seconds had never happened.

_How was my day?! How the fuck was my day?!_

Before I could try to find the appropriate answer to describe how crappy my day had been, Leroy, Rachel and my mom came into the living room with trays of food and drinks that they put down on the coffee table.

My mom came to sit next to me and of course Leroy and Rachel were on the opposite couch, she was still avoiding looking at me and all I wanted to do was to ask her why. I had been trying to find the reason all afternoon but couldn't find a good one, well actually there was probably hundreds of them but if they prooved to be right then it automaticaly meant that Rachel and I weren't going to be friends after all, and it's something that I now couldn't bring myself to.

The first half hour of the evening wasn't as bad as I thought it would, mostly because my mom, Hiram and Leroy were getting along like peas in a pod. As for me and Rachel, we were laughing when needed and even said a few words in the conversations, all of that without our eyes ever meeting once.

I was starting to get a bit nervous by Rachel's behavior because it definitely wasn't the usual one. By now she should have at least made some allusions or try to comment our situation by using "A friend of mine..." and get her parents and my mom to criticize the awful person that hurt her friend when in reality they'd be talking about be. In other words, she should be attacking me, get mad for my inaction or the fact that I still had no idea where I got it wrong, but instead she looked confused, defeated, and I caught sadness in her eyes when she was addressing to my mom.

I just felt all wrong. I like to think that I know Rachel, or at least how she works, since destroying her had been one of my hobbies, but this time I had what seemed to be a complete stranger in front of me.

"Quinn?"

The voice pull me out of my thoughts, my mom was looking at me with a questioning look as well as the three other people in the room, apparently I had been thinking a bit too intensively and missed something.

"Sorry, I got lost for a minute" I said with an apologetic smile.

"It's okay don't worry about it, it happens to me all the time" Leroy said, his statement accompanied with nods from both Hiram and Rachel.

"I was just asking you if you were already thinking about college" he continued.

_Fuck._

The last thing I wanted to talk about after my dayjob as a bully. College. Scary, amazing, expensive, inaccessible college.

Of course I'm thinking about it, I think about community college here in Lima, where I will probably end up. I think about not going at all and try to travel a bit or get a job until I figure things out. And must of all I dream, I dream about the Ivy League, just the way I did when I was little.

Of course it was first my father's plan for me, but soon it was the plan that I had for myself, until it became just another reverie, something you want so bad but you know you'll never get.

Plus, since we still don't know what my father is up to and to what extent his desire for revenge will go, I don't want to put even more pressure on my mom. Sure we kept the house and the cars, but if my mom hadn't find a job as quickly as she did, they would probably be sold by now, and god knows how expensive college is, even with a scholarship, which I probably wouldn't get anyway.

So how to answer Leroy's question without making my mom feel bad and without lying?

"Humm, I haven't really thought this through yet."

"What are you talking about? Of course you did" my mom said a bit confused, but soon turned to the Berry's and added " Ivy League. We still don't know which school but Quinn has amazing grades and a lot of extra curricular activities, so I think she has very good chances."

And here was a small glimpse at the old Judy Fabray, the vainglorious rich woman with a greedy husband, who exhibits her daughter like a trophy and an image of perfection.

I know I'm being hard on her but just the thought of having to satisfy any other expectation from my parents was unbearable. After all, they let me down when I needed them the most, and even if my mom was trying to make things right, it was still going to take a while before I could forgive her completely, if I'm ever able to.

"Mom, we haven't talked about this yet" I said, trying to make her understand that nothing was final like she implied.

"Yes we have. Don't worry, you still have plenty of time to choose honey" she said while putting a hand on my shoulder.

I was about to retort but Leroy was the first to talk.

"I'm sure you'll make the right choice, I went to Brown, and I spend there some of the greatest moments of my life." he said with an hint of nostalgia in his voice.

"Do you know what you want to do yet?" he then asked with genuine interest.

_Again, Fuck._

I should have expected that one as well. I didn't see myself trying to explain why I wanted to be a Lima real estate agent because, let's face it, I don't want to.

Actually since my talk with Rachel during the storm I had been thinking a bit more about my hopes of becoming a writter even though I never wrote a thing, and came to the conclusion that maybe instead I should do what I do best, read.

"I'm thinking about becoming editor" I said without much confidence, and it was Hiram this time who stepped in.

"Oh that's great! I have a friend whos-"

"I thought you wanted to be a writter." Rachel interrupted.

She was looking straight at me, I couldn't tell what she was thinking and I half expected her to add "or did you lie about that too?", but nothing came. There was a small silence, everyone waiting for an answer that I obviously didn't have, being too caught up by the fact that Rachel had actually talk to me for the second time of the evening.

Thank god Leroy spoke again, otherwise I don't know how long we would've stayed there.

"You wanna be a writter?" he asked with a soft voice, as if he already knew it was a touchy subject for me.

I didn't want to talk about it, and most of all I didn't want to make a fool of myself in front of the four of them. It's true, who wants to be a writter but has never write anything? This was just stupid, and at that moment I just wanted to go hide in a hole.

"I don't know" I answered almost shyly, just hoping for this conversation to go away.

"Have you ever written anything?" he then asked.

_Does this family has superpowers or something?! _

My silence answered for me, and just felt embarassed.

"Hey don't worry about it okay? I didn't write a thing until I was 21! " Leroy said with a laugh.

That caught my attention, I had almost forgot that Leroy was indeed a writer, I didn't ask Rachel what kind or how he became one and I wish I did. I was about to ask but my mom did it first.

"How did you become a writer? Did you just woke up and said "Why not?" ?"

"Yeah, I kinda did!" he said with a laugh and then continued.

"Actually there's an entire story behind it, but I'll give you the short version. I was 21, in my third year at Brown doing a Mathematical Economics major, don't ask me why, let's just say that back then I was still a bit confused about who I was and who I wanted to be obviously. I needed to choose a course outside of my major, I didn't have any precise idea of what I wanted but the first day of class, I was late and in my frantic race I collided with a teacher. Mr Wolcott...he was the hottest and cu-"

"Ahem" Hiram interrupted his husband who was talking about his former teacher with a dreamy look on his face. My mom, Rachel and I laughed a bit at Leroy's apologetic face before he started talking again.

"Yeah sorry, anyway, I developped a bit of a crush on him, actually at some point it kinda turned into some sort of obsession... nevermind! So of course I decided to take one of his course just so I could spend a few hours a week staring at him, the class happened to be "Free Composition", which consisted in writing anything you felt worth being said. I did my first assigment without even thinking about it, writing about some childhood story, I really didn't have time with all the work I had from the other classes, this one was just for fun. But as the weeks went by I started writing more and more until it was everyday, about anything and everywhere, even during economics and algebra classes. It just became something I needed to do, something that was just mine. Not being attentive in class I failed my semester and when it was time to go back, I made the best decision of my life and followed my heart, my passion. I started everything again, got my diploma in English and Literature studies four years later and never stopped writing since then. I write stories, aticles, screenplays. I write for others, but mainly for myself, it has become something vital for me, otherwise I get lost in my own head. So don't worry too much Quinn, the hardest part is to start, once you have, if it's really what you're meant to be, then you'll never be able to stop."

He ended his story with a smile and I felt so relieved at that moment. I had regained all the hope that I had lost, but at the same time had gain the fear that comes with the fact that maybe it's not what I'm meant to be, the fear that if I take the leap and fail then there would be no turning back.

"Well, what about some dinner to conclude that wonderful story!" Hiram said with enthousiasm.

"That sounds perfect!" My mom replied with the same tone, she really was enjoying this evening and I was slowly starting to as well. Of course the obvious tension between me and Rachel was still very uncomfortable, but all in all, her dads were great and made it a lot easier for everyone. I was hoping Leroy would tell me more about his job and college courses. I would always picture myself walking around amazing ancient buildings or reading in some gigantic park, learning about my passion and have nothing but opportunities for the future. I wanted that life, I wanted it more than anything.

"Are you coming?"

Rachel's voice brought me back to reality, I was now sitting alone in the living room, my mom and Rachel's dads already in the kitchen.

I noticed a bit of worry in her eyes when I didn't respond right away, it meant that there was still hope, that she still cared enough to make sure I'm okay. All I needed to do now was to make her talk, because I'm sure she was going to keep ignoring our problems and keep everything to herself. And the only way to make Rachel Berry talk is to provoke her.

"Yeah, I'm coming."

_Game on. _


	22. Chapter 22

**_Hi guys! Sorry I haven't update for a while but august as been a bit crazy, anyway here's two chapters that mark the end of the "angst" period if I may say, and the beginning of a real Faberry friendship! Chapter 24 is almost done so I'll post it soon, until then, enjoy!_**

**_I also wanted to say a huge thank you to all the reviewers, followers and favorites, you guys rock!  
_**

Chapter 22

_**Rachel's POV**_

This evening wasn't going as bad as I expected, the main reason being that Quinn and I hadn't exchange more than two words since she got here. Ignoring her was the hardest thing, I could feel her eyes on me from across the table. We were eating dinner, the parents making conversation for the five of us.

I know what you might think, why on earth did you sat right in front of her if all you're trying to do is avoid her stare? Well, when came the moment to choose my sit around the table I had two possibilities, in front of her, or right next to her. Somehow the thought of Quinn being only a few centimeters away and the risk that our arms graze even if only for a second was ten time worse than the constant feeling of being observed. So here I was, facing Quinn and her mom while my dads were both at each end of the table.

I could tell that my dads and Judy were aware of the tension between Quinn and I, not that it was possible to miss anyway.

I felt trapped, I'm not usually the one who stays silent in those situation, I'm the one who speaks the truth, sometimes without even thinking of the consequences.

I wanted to talk to her, yell at her even, ask her why, but here wasn't the place or time, I promessed my dad that I would be pleasant and keep my thoughts and opinion to myself, probably not what Quinn expected, but she seemed to play along.

"So girls, how's glee club? Are you guys ready for regionals?"

Dad's questions made me look up from my plate, I quickly glanced over at Quinn, she clearly wasn't going to answer so I took this one, excited to talk about it.

"Not as well as I planned but we'll get there, the victory will be ours this year, I'm sure of it!" I answered with enthusiasm.

Losing wasn't an option this year, even if I have to carry each of them to the top, the New Directions are going to nationals, and that's final.

"I'm not." I snapped my head toward Quinn "I think we're going to lose." she simply said before taking a sip of water and looking directly at me. I was able to recognize that look between thousands, she gave it to me so many times I stopped counting. Right now, Quinn was challenging me.

_How dare she._

"No we're not." I said firmly without breaking eye contact with her.

"Yes, we are." she pressed.

I could feel my dads and Judy tensing, their eyes going back between me and Quinn. After a short silence Daddy finally talked, trying to dissipate the tension.

"Well the competition is quite hard this year but you have to keep hope." he said with a soft and careful voice.

"It's the same schools as last year and we lost." Quinn said, still staring right at me.

"And that's why this year we won't. I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure of that!" I replied. I was getting more upset every seconds, she was provoking me and I knew it but the anger I had build up against her during this whole day was getting really hard to hold in.

"How? Nobody listens to you." she said, still with a calm tone.

Quinn looked compose and was just making a simple statement, you couldn't sense any sarcasm or spitefulness in her voice, she wasn't throwing it as an insult, just as a fact. But once you look in her eyes you could see a lot more, another proof that Quinn Fabray is really the master of disguise, pretenting about everything and with everyone just because she can.

"Of course they do, or they will. They all know I'm actually the only one who knows what I'm doing, and maybe Kurt sometimes bu-"

"See, you say stuff like that and then you wonder why nobody wants to be around you." she interrupted.

That was just to much for me, I wasn't going to let that one go without a proper reply.

"Excuse me but you're probably the last person on earth who has the right to comment on my attitude!" I retorted. She certainly had some nerve to come to my house and insult me in front of my parents thinking I would just let it happen.

"I'm just being honest Rachel!" she replied, losing her calm but with her eyes still glued on mine. The word "honest" stroke a nerve, I couldn't believe her, how could she talk about honesty when all she always do is lie and manipulate people.

"You gotta be quidding me! You're talking to me about honesty?_!_" I snapped. Now I was really angry and if this conversation didn't end soon, I was going to start saying things I shouldn't.

"Okay, maybe we should stop talking about it. Obviously the stress of it got you a bit on edge." Daddy tried, obviously very uncomfortable by the exchange. He gave me a pleading look, silently asking me to back off before things degenerate.

"You're right. There are things better left unsaid." I said, trying to calm down.

"Is there something you want to tell me Rachel?" Quinn asked firmly, she had lost her cool and was now really looking for trouble.

_If it's what she wants, she's going to have it!_

"Quinn." Judy said in a warning tone, she was just as uncomfortable as my dad but you could see she was also really mad.

Quinn ignored her mom and just continued, making me even more upset than before.

"No, come on, say it! What are you afraid of?_!_ Come on!" she practically yelled at me, I couldn't hold it anymore.

"Fine! You know what Quinn?_!_ You're just a lying bit-"

"OKAY! Dessert!" Daddy suddently interrupted. I had almost forgot he was there and apparently so did Quinn "Rachel can you come and help me please." he then asked firmly.

"What for? I have crutches, I'm not gonna be able to cary anything!" I replied without thinking, still caught up in my own anger.

"Now!" he yelled, making everyone around the table jump a little.

"Fine." I said sternly before taking an hold on my crutches and getting up.

"Keep going." he said when we reached the kitchen, pointing the direction toward the office down the corridor.

I was in trouble, big time. Respect and good manners are really important to my dads, and even if liberty of expression is their favorite motto, I went way to far with that one tonight, and I knew it the moment he closed the door behind us and started talking.

"Okay, now you're going to listen to me very carefully Rachel Barbra Berry. I don't know what the hell happened back there, but it is unacceptable!" he scoldded "I don't know what's going on between you and Quinn but this stops right now! Do you hear me?_!_ " he continued. I felt like a 4 year old, and the realization that Quinn, Judy and my dad were able to hear everything being yelled at me from the other room was just making me even more angry.

"She's the one who started it!" I retorded. Once again it was all her fault, and I hated the fact that she could get to me so easily.

"I don't care! You know better than to talk back Rachel!" he said firmly

"Look, I know it hasn't always been easy, that you had to go through a lot this past few years, and that Quinn is a big part of that. But you're better than this Rachel." he continued with his voice getting softer this time.

"No I'm not, not today, not after eveything that happened. I'm just tired, exhausted by it. I know I'm supposed to be the bigger person or whatever but I don't think I can do this much longer. I thought for a seond that things were going to change but they're not, and now I'm afraid they're even going to get worse. "

He knew that things had been hard for me and that keeping my spirit up was a struggle some days. Just the idea of having to go through all of this for another two years was making me sick.

"Why worse? Because of Quinn?"

Right now she was the main reason, actually she has always been.

"She just hates me so much..." I said, more to myself than to him.

"Did you ask her why?" he asked, I supressed a sarcastic laugh.

"Of course I have! Many times!" I said with frustration. That question had been at the center of my life for the past two years!

"Maybe you should ask again."

"What's the point" I said with a sigh.

"I think you're right, I think there is more to Quinn than what she shows. For some people the only way to protect themselves is by killing before being killed. But honey what I saw out there, that wasn't hate, trust me."

I was a bit taken aback by that statement. It is common knowledge that Hiram Berry isn't a fan of Quinn Fabray, even though he had never met her before, he already had a pretty settle opinion on the girl, so how come after this one particulary awful dinner he was able to give her the benefit of the doubt?

Maybe he caught up on something I missed, he often do.

"What do you mean? What was it?" I asked, hoping for a clear answer for once.

"She's the only one who can answer that." he simply said.

_Of course. Just my luck._

"Until then, you are going to go back out there and apologize to both Quinn and her mom. We'll talk later about punishment for your behavior okay?"

he said a bit more firmly to make sure I understood he wasn't going to let that one go so easily.

I nodded and was ready to leave the room when I realized I was still pretty upset. If Quinn was about to continue the provocation game, I wasn't going to last long.

"Dad, can I go get some air for a bit? I need to calm down."

He first looked a bit skeptic but his face softened.

"Sure, but you apologize first."

"Of course."

The moment we stepped foot in the room, all eyes were on us. I don't think they heard the entire conversation, but definitely the first part that was yelled. I could see the remorse on Quinn's face and was relieved that round 2 wasn't going to happen. I decided to do this quickly, the atmosphere in the room was suffocating.

"Mrs Fabray, Quinn, Dads, I'm really sorry for the way I behaved. I let my emotions and temper took over and for that I apologize." I said sincerely. I was about to continue when Quinn got up.

"I apologize as well. I was rude and unrespectful, especially to you Rachel and I'm sorry for that." she said with a small voice. I could tell she really was sorry, a strange thing to witness.

"Alright girls, let's forget about all of this and eat some dessert okay?" Daddy asked with enthusiasm, everyone nodded and smiled with relief. "I'll go get the cake! Sit down girls!" he said with a smile before getting up.

"Actually I'm gonna go get some air for a minute if that's okay, the medicine for my ankle are making me a bit dizzy."

"Oh do you want me to come with you?" Dad asked with concern.

"No I'm fine, I'll be back before you know it."

I took one last glance at Quinn and wasn't prepared to find her looking right back at me. I could've try to analyse the emotions in her stare but I was just too tired of guessing, so I just stepped out of the room, and it felt like I could finally breathe again.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

_**Quinn's POV**_

A disaster. This dinner was a real disaster. I don't know exactly how I came to the conclusion that provoking Rachel was a good idea because it clearly wasn't.

I can barely believe myself, I really crossed the line with that one. Insulting her right in front of her parents was really the sign that I have reach rock bottom. I didn't mean for it to go this far, but when I got so close to finally get her to open up I just couldn't stop, and now whatever it is that she was mad at me for, must be nothing compare to what I've just done.

When she went in the other room with her dad, the atmosphere around the table was just unbearable. My mom was giving me a very, very disappointed and angry look while Leroy was looking everywhere else. Of course none of us was able to ignore the yelling, making me more ashamed than I thought possible.

Then they came back, she apologized, and all I could think was _Why the hell is she apologizing when this is clearly all my fault_?_!_

The least I could do was to do the same and hope to god that she would actually believe me.

I was balancing whether or not it was better do completely avoid looking at her for the rest of the evening, when decided to make an exit, her eyes met mine and I could read all the sadness and incomprehension that is the result of our unusual and completely messed up relation, or should I say lack of one.

She had been gone for about 10 minutes now, and even if the parents went back to light conversation topics, I was feeling worse with every seconds that passed. I needed to talk to her, it couldn't wait until the end of dinner and certainly not until tomorrow or the day after. It had to be now, otherwise I'm sure it would be too late.

"Excuse me, where's the restroom?" I asked between two sentences.

"It's the second door on your left" Leroy answered while pointing the direction.

Thankfully it wasn't far away from the front door, and I was able to sneak out without being seen, and made my way to the back yard.

I couldn't believe I was there only two nights ago agreeing to start a friendship with Rachel that I was now already trying to fix.

I found Rachel on one of the swing, looking up at the sky just like I expected, it's almost like she was waiting for me.

I took one last breath before walking toward her, she sensed my presence and turned to me. It was barely 8h30 but the sun was already starting to set, I could see on her face that she was mad. Not the "I'm about to throw a tantrum" mad but the "I really don't want to see your face or talk to you" mad. I slowly stepped closer and stood near the empty swing next to her.

"Can I sit?" I asked with hesitation, the possibility of her screaming at me remained pretty high.

"It's a free country." she said with a bit of annoyance in her voice.

_This is going to be hard._

I didn't ask twice and sat next to her. We stayed in silence for a few seconds, I was trying to find the right words but came to the conclusion that no matter what speech I gave, it probably wouldn't be good enough, so I just decided to go for it.

"I'm really sorry."

_Lame._

She turned to me and did not look impressed. She didn't respond anything even though "No shit Sherlock!" was appropriate.

"Look, I don't know what took over me... I just got frustrated that you wouldn't talk to me and... I was stupid enough to think that provoking you was the solution. I am really trully sorry Rachel." I said while trying to make eye contact with her, but she kept avoiding it.

"And I thought I was the extreme one." she said without joy.

"I just needed to know why you've been ignoring me. I know it wasn't the right way but I still have issues with-"

"That you have." she interrupted with a sarcastic laugh.

"I'm trying to change okay? The world wasn't build in one day." I tried, I didn't have much argument since the reason why I was in this situation was still to be uncovered.

"And in your case it probably never will." she retorted.

"Okay, whatever it is that I've done, I'm really sorry. Can we just try to work things out and find a way to fix this?" I asked with the hope that she would just go with it.

"Why?" she asked, finally looking at me firmly.

"Why what?" I asked, confused and wanting for this argument to be over as soon as possible, feeling my temper slowly shifting.

"Why do you want to fix it? What makes... whatever it is that we have so important? For all I know 5 days ago you hated me, and now you're in my back yard for the second time in less than three days, trying to apologize and find excuses for being who you are. I just don't get it."

_Well I don't get it either!_

"And I don't get you! Isn't it what you wanted?" I asked, this time my voice started rising, I could feel the anger caused by my own frustration starting to poke out. I had no idea what I was doing here or why I suddently felt compeled to apologize to freakin' Rachel Berry! None of it made sense, and it infuriated me.

"Excuse me?" she asked with outrage.

"You've been telling me for the past year that you want us to be friends, and when I finally feel like we can, you shut me out without an explanation! I know having Santana Lopez as best friend isn't the best example but if being friends with someone is just talking to them when you feel like it and the rest of the time ignoring them and sending them nasty looks then I sure as hell have a lot of friends!" I snapped.

"Well maybe you should ask Finn some advice, he is the perfect guy to talk to you about friendship and honesty isn't he!?" she practically yelled, and now I was even more confused.

"Why are you talking about Finn right now?_!_" I asked with exasperation.

"Oh I don't know maybe because you guys are perfect for each other! You're both liars and despicable people!"

"What_!_?" I asked, still not understanding the point of this conversation.

"I saw you at lunch with him!" she finally yelled.

I was about to question her again when it finally hit me.

_Oh shit._

The possibility of Rachel finding out about me and Finn had completely left my mind. I don't know how, I don't know when but somehow I blocked it out, probably because its consequences would put everything back on the table and erase the little progress that I made this past three days.

A silence followed Rachel's revelation, a moment during which I was finally putting the pieces back together and Rachel was waiting for my response.

"Oh my god, I totally forgot about that..." I said in a whisper, more to myself than her.

"You forgot about it?_!_ How can you forget that you've been kissing my ex-boyfriend while your actual boyfriend was waiting for you by your locker!" she yelled. It put me out of my daze a bit but not completely. I was still in some sort of shock, but tried to collect my thoughts to give her a proper answer.

"I know! I know! I just...I can't believe you found out... You know today is one of those days that later in my life I look back and tell myself "this really was one of the worse days of my life." I said with amazement, and before I could stop it, I started laughing. It wasn't a joyful laugh, but more the one that said "I'd rather laugh than cry because my life is really a fucking mess right now.".

"You think it's funny_!_?" she asked with angry astonishment, making my laughing die down.

"Trust me I don't." I said, the sadness in my voice accompanying my last chuckles.

I felt like crying, like asking one more time to God why he made this so difficult, why _I_ made this so difficult. There wouldn't be any answer anyway. Even though I use it often, "I'm messed up." is not enough, not for my parents, not for my friends, not for the kids I bully, not for Rachel... and certainly not for me.

"How could you do this Quinn? I thought you would have learn from your mistakes"

I forgot for a second where I was and who was sitting next to me. I felt vulnerable and Rachel was pushing for more, putting my defense mechanism at use.

"Oh please, who are you to judge me!? You don't even know me." I said with bitterness.

"And whose fault is that?" she throw back. Of course she was right, but I didn't want to have this conversation once more, especially in the state I was in.

"You're unbelievable..." I said under my breath. Maybe I should have said "you're unbelivably exhausting", but I didn't.

"I'M unbelieveable?_!_" she yelled, making me realize my mistake and be even more upset.

"Yes you are! You know a part from the fact that being around you is a complete social suicide, I always thought that being your friend would be impossible anyway because of your obnoxious personnality that is just too much to handle for any normal human being!" I snapped.

It wasn't really me talking anymore at that point, the real me I mean. Quinn Fabray head cheerio and ruler of McKinley High was talking. I know when I say that I sound like a schizophrenic person, but I do believe that each person as at least two different personnalities. You're not the same whether you're with your family, or with your friends or your lover, or when you're at work, or facing your deepest fears.

But what happen when you lose control over those different side of you, when you're not sure which one is appropriate at what moment or with whom?

People think it's easy for me to speak up, to make friends and be where everyone else wants to be, but the real me, is self-conscious, awkward, shy, and with no real idea of what she wants to do with her life. But the world is made so badly, that someone like Lucy Fabray can barely make it, while someone like Quinn Fabray can have all she wants without having to think about anybody but herself.

My dad always says that everything as a price, I don't think he realized how right he was.

"How dare you?! If someone is hard to handle here it's you! Not me! You wouldn't even be able to be a friend to begin with! You're rude, condescendant, selfish and you keep hurting people without any apparent reason!" Rachel kept yelling.

I didn't say anything, actually I barely heard what she said. I was realising once more that I had no idea who I was, and it terrified me.

Rachel must have sensed that something was wrong because she stopped talking and was just looking at me. I was staring at the grass, lost in my suffocating thoughts.

After a few minutes, she talked again.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked, her voice was now calm and I could almost hear a bit of concern.

"Why do you care?" I asked, and I was really wondering. Why would she still try to understand after what I did? Most people would just give up and move on, but not her. As usual Rachel Berry always surprise me in the best ways.

"I honestly have no idea. That obnoxious personnality of mine keep pushing me towards you somehow. But figuring you out is like trying to build a snowman in hell!"

I couldn't help but laugh at the expression because the image of it popped into my mind, and also because I really needed to let go of the pressure that this evening brought.

"And now she's laughing again!" she said with exasperation, but I could see she was trying not to laugh as well.

"What's so funny?" she then asked lightly, she was tired to fight as well.

"Nothing, I'm sorry" I said between my last chuckles.

I felt better, relieved by this short time out, and ready to try and make things right.

"You know, I broke up with Finn, and Sam for that matter." I simply said, she turned to me.

"When?" she asked with interest. I decided to tell her everything, keeping things at this point would just be stupid.

"After school, somehow one after the other. Sam was okay with it, I mean, he obviously wasn't but he didn't make it hard or anything. Finn was something else! He came by my house right after, already knowning that I was single, I don't really know how but I guess things fly around pretty quickly in that club. Anyway, he wanted us to be officially together and...I just said no. I didn't want to be with him, I thought I did but..."

I didn't know how to finish that sentence, I didn't know how to explain why I got back with Finn or why it felt so wrong to stay with him, and maybe it's better left unknown.

"So you're not in love with him?" Rachel asked after a small silence.

"No. I mean I must have been at some point... I just...how did you put it the other day? Oh yeah, there was something missing."

There really was. Sometime couples fell out of love, sometime they fell in love with someone else, and sometime, like for me and Finn, there was never anything to begin with. We got together because everyone expected us to be, I cared about him, but that affection never turned into love.

"And he just accepted it? No chair kicking?" she asked with a smile, I hold back a laugh before giving my answer.

"He punched my front door."

We looked at each other for a second, and then started laughing out loud. It felt good, laughing with Rachel Berry in her back yard at 9pm about Finn Hudson's anger issues with inanimate objects felt good. Our chuckles died down and I wanted to tell her what happened, so I did.

"He just didn't want to believe it and kept telling me that I was, well I'll spare you the caustic details but basically "a bad person" and that I did all of this on purpose just so I could hurt him, that's when I knew that I was making the right decision. If he really thinks I'm capable of doing something like that, then what's the point? I mean I know I could probably do something like that but...if after all this time, everything that we've been through, he still can't tell when I'm being sincere or not, then maybe we just aren't meant to work."

She looked away and nodded but didn't respond which made me a bit nervous. I had to ask the obvious question.

"Do you still love him?" She brought back her attention towards me and gave me a small smile that didn't reach her eyes the way it usually do.

"I don't...I mean, I still feel attached to him but after this... you know he gave be some much resentment, anger, and judgement when I got with Puck, and I precise again that we were breaking up so technicaly I didn't cheat on him. And now he does this, to a sweet guy like Sam."

I tensed a bit, what was true for Finn was also true for me. She must have sensed it because she quickly added something.

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm just saying that you're not the only one at fault here." she said calmly, I nodded in response.

We fell back into silence. I had to make the next step, ask her if there was any way that she could forgive me, and make sure that she understands that I want to change.

"I think guys are just bad for me. I mean look at it, I date Finn, I cheat on him with his best friend and get pregnant. And now I date Sam and cheat on him with Finn. It's like I'm looking for trouble without even knowing it, I don't want to do that anymore."

She didn't say anything so I apologized once more.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. Again."

"You know, it wasn't so much the fact that you cheated on Sam or that it was with Finn, I mean it mattered, but it was mostly because...well, I felt stupid. "

That surprised me, and definitely made me curious.

"Why stupid?"

"Because, I was ready to start this friendship, and ready to be honest with you, and open up to you, but then I discovered this whole thing and I started wondering if you didn't have hidden motives for wanting to be my friend. And I just felt stupid for not seeing it coming. I know now that it had nothing to do with it, but still, if we can't be honest with each other then what's the point of being friends at all?"

Now I was the one feeling stupid. I had been trying to be cautious with her, after all, our past was supposed to make everything a lot more difficult, that's what I thought anyway. She on the other side, had given me her trust right away, taking things slow of course, but already with the conviction that we could do this, that we could be friends. Thinking of it, maybe this whole secret was the thing holding me back, knowing that barely starting, our friendship had already this huge lie hanging over it.

"Rachel, I understand what you mean, and I agree but... we made that "pact" two days ago. You really think I was about to pour my heart out to you and tell you about the affair that I was having with the guy that not so long ago was "the love of your life"?"

"I guess not." she admitted with a bit of disappointment.

"Look, I had planned to break up with them before the night of the storm, well at least with one of them. I never expected that you and I would try to become friends, and I just didn't want to ruin it with something that I already considered to be over. I thought that maybe I would tell you in a far far future, when it wouldn't matter anymore, that is if our friendship had last more than three days of course..."

She smiled and turned to me with a determine look.

"What about we forget about all of this?" she suddently asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked a bit confused.

"Let's just say that these past three days were a transition period. Like when you're moving, there's a time when you need to pack everything, and also leave some things behind so you can make room for new ones, better ones. Those three days were the packing."

I could barely believe it and had to rewind that last statement in my head to see if there was any hidden meaning behind it. My surprise and confusion must have been pretty clear on my face.

"What do you say? Clean slate?" she asked, making sure I understood that she wasn't joking, that she was actually ready to give me another chance.

"You really mean that?" I asked, the situation being so unbelievable to me.

"I do. But I'm going to need some time to get over a few things okay? I won't bother you with it, I just want you to know. The new house needs to be cleaned as well." she said with a chuckle.

She then looked at me expectantly, it took me a few seconds to realize she wanted an actual answer.

"Yes, yes sure! Anything that you need!" I answered quickly, it made her laugh.

"You really are something you know." I said, she gave me a questoning look. "I mean it as a compliment. Not many people would be able to forgive that way." I added.

I really was impressed by it, I sure as hell wouldn't be able to.

"Yeah well, don't prove them right." she said with a smile, but it could tell it was a serious request.

"I won't." I replied sincerely.

"Friends?" she asked.

"Friends." I said with a sigh of relief, she then raised her fist up.

"Do you actually want me to fist-bump you?" I asked, amused by the childish gesture.

"What? Mercedes does it all the time!" she replied before giving me an insisting look.

I bumped my fist against hers and had to do the fake explosion.

"We are never doing that again." I simply said, she gave me a bright smile and then turned to reach the crutches at her side.

"Now that we took care of that, we should go back inside." she said while getting up from the swing. I was about to do the same when I remembered something.

"Oh yeah, the parents must think I'm sick." I said with a grimace.

"Why?"

"Because I've been in the restroom for about thirty minutes now."

"Well, just say it's the vegan lasagnas." she said casualy.

"No I'm not doing that, I love those lasagnas! I want to have the opportunity to eat those lasagnas again, and if they think it makes me sick then it won't happen."

I would even accept to turn vegan if it meant only eating those lasagnas forever.

"Oh, so you'll be back for dinner one of these days?" she asked with a smirk.

"Who knows?" I said, smiling back at her. We walked next to each other towards the house, and when we reached the front door she turned to me.

"I was just joking earlier, don't say a word about the lasagnas, otherwise I probably won't be aloud to see you anymore, ever." she said seriously.

I laughted at her statement and followed her inside.

* * *

_**Hi guys, thanks for reading :) I want to change the story summary but I really suck at it, so if any of you as an idea how to sum up this story so far that would be amazing! You can private message me here or on my tumblr tvshowfreak (.tumblr) ( .com) Bye! **_


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